Mostly Giants

Lucky Fuck

2008-02-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

How much do you want to be this guy? He made his way into the victory celebration - but not just at the parade. The locker room. Onto the field. As he puts it in this video: unbelievable.
Best comment:

BY ARKANSASFRED AT 06:01 PM

You'd think Eli would have just gotten Cooper an all access pass.

Tons of photos and video here.

Via Deadspin.

Hey Tiki - Bite Me!

2008-02-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

So, like, wow.
WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great game, better result.
If there's a downside, it's that we have to listen to the 72 Dolphins talk about their own undefeated season. WhatEVer.
But look - Eli Manning just had his Bar Mitzvah. (Go Eli - its your Bar Mitzvah - we're gonna party like its your Bar Mitzvah...) Today he is a man. Better than Peyton? Who knows? Who cares? WE WON!

Flu? Screw that!

2008-01-29T18:58:00.000-08:00

Apparently some of the Giants have the flu.
Let us not forget Keena Turner, who played in Super Bowl XVI despite having THE CHICKEN POX.
So get over it guys. Got a game to play.

Media Day

2008-01-29T09:15:00.001-08:00

Listening to it on 1050 ESPN Radio right now. Max Kellerman is interjecting comments and mocking the whole thing with appropriate vigor. Tom Brady just went off on a vague tangent about "using this platform to do more important things," in response to a question that asked "what do you do?" First he said, "I throw a football," and said some things about it not being terribly important in the grand scheme of things.
Stat of the day: 42 reporters for every 1 player. 106 players. 4,876 reporters. Approximately.
Oy vey.
Speaking of oy vey, the predictions have begun. Plax gives a score but not a winner; presumably he's picking New York. Strahan: "History will be ours." I guess they take their lead from Steve Tisch Mir Tuchas.
Everybody on the Giants: SHUT UP.

Surreal

2008-01-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

This may sound odd, but it didn't start to feel real until a day ago. Not in the sense that it's OMG SO FANTAASTIK. It just didn't... feel real.

When the Giants beat the Packers, I heard multiple people screaming outside my window. I live on a side street in Manhattan with no retail, no bars, nothing except for two parking garages. When they beat the Cowboys I heard one person yelling. When Tynes' (finally!) hit that field goal in Green Bay, I must have heard 10 or 12 guys shouting like lunatics. I peeked out the window but couldn't see anything. I'm near a highway, so it must have been people in their cars.

There hasn't been an unexpected winner in New York for awhile now. The Jets aren't going anywhere. The Rangers or Islanders almost don't count because so few people care about hockey at this point. Apparently New York has a Lacrosse team, but who knew? The Knicks are so bad the only reason to pay attention is to see when the train actually goes off the rails. The Nets have their moments, but that's New Jersey. The Yankees have been good for so long now that we expect them to make the playoffs, and even making the World Series isn't as much of a thrill as it was back in 1996. The Mets are... you know, the Mets. Who cares?

The Giants weren't expected to go anywhere this year. Most pundits said "no playoffs." Predictions of a 4-12 season were the norm. (I had them doing better than that, for what it's worth.) Making the Super Bowl? Please. Not gonna happen. And yet it did.

The conventional wisdom is that the Jints are playing with house money. I don't particularly care for that attitude, since it doesn't exactly scream "winner." But when you see the reaction of so many New Yorkers, it's hard to argue against it. Still, this sort of thing is a bit much:

As a New Yorker and a lifelong (I'm 87) Giants fan, I want the Patriots to win. Just getting in the Superbowl is way beyond what was expected of this Giants team, and, this should give them plenty of satisfaction. [source: NYTimes.com, comments]

Yes, getting there is an achievement. Winning is a better one. As long as the Giants don't get blown out, they should be OK psychologically. Eli's psyche is a concern, since a young QB getting destroyed in the big game could do long-term damage to even Mr. Alfred Eli Newman.

Bottom line? Achieving more than was expected is always fun. When a team goes all the way, it's even better. The Giants may have achieved a rare moral victory this season by almost beating the Pats in Week 17, and then beating all comers in the playoffs to make it to Arizona. But I'd still rather see the victory parade happen in New York.

NYG vs GB - 2nd half

2008-01-20T17:32:00.000-08:00

The throwing is working but it worries me. Eli just threw a pick that was erased by a penalty. Got the first down, which evens things up after the David Diehl penalty in the first half. Plax is playing like Jerry Rice, or at least like he was playing earlier this year.
I'm going to say this and please, be sitting down: I agree with Joe Buck. Not enough running for Jacobs.
Another penalty! 15 yards! First down! That was a nasty hit, actually. Eli doesn't come across like a tough guy but I think you gotta be to take a smack like that. Ouch.
I guess they listened to me, cuz Jacobs just had a nice run there. Almost made it into the end zone, a couple of inches short of a first down. 3rd and inches.
Jacobs? Fumble? Forth down? What happened? OK, it looks to me like Kevin Boss picked it up after Jacobs got the yard. Nice replay.
Offsides on the Packers. Half the distance to the goal? What's that, a foot? Auto 1st down, though. Green Bay penalties galore. That's two offsides in a row. Wacky. This is the unit that everyone with a radio show was saying that this was an "elite" defense.
Jacobs! Touchdown! There you go. They listened to me. At least Jacobs didn't throw the ball at anyone (or anyTHING).
Buck points out what I was thinking, which is that GB really only has one good play, the 90 yard TD by driver. Of course, now they have a huge punt return, putting them deep into Giant territory. Favre is playing OK but not great. No, you don't get a flag there Favre. NO FLAG FOR YOU!
That was a dopey play. Ball bouncing all over the place, Driver eventually gets it, then Sam Madison pulls a HUGE foul and Green Bay gets an immediate touchdown. Bad bad bad. We were happy he's playing again but that was an unbelievably stupid penalty.
Bradshaw has a nice run, gets a first, so the Giants come out and... throw the ball again on 1st down. Plax tied a Giant team postseason. Toomer just made a great fucking catch there, 23 yards. But Green Bay challenged it. I don't know, it's not clear. On that replay it looks like both toes are in, I think Green Bay loses that challenge. Cool freeze frame. The camerawork in this game seems better than in previous weeks. The angles are there, there's not a lot of "Why'd they shoot that? The play was over there."
Toomer again. This is weird. Both Green Bay touchdowns are on passes, Manning is throwing the ball all over the field, and it's -20 degrees.
Bradshaw! Touchdown! Got the lead right back. Take that cheeseheads.
Another nice one from Favre, to Robinson this time. Then Ryan Grant shows why everyone's been talking about him this week, 13 yards. I don't blame the Giants for being tired at this point in the game but now is not the time for the team to fall apart. There we go, good stop. Keep that up.
Ooo, Strahan got beat on that one. 20 yards for Driver. Not sure what Don was whining about at the end of the play.
Interception! Fumble! Green Bay recovers. Oh dammit. Favre was almost sacked, Ryan Grant strips the ball from McQuarters after he makes a nice interception, then some huge lineman dives on the ball. Sheesh.
-23 degrees.
Webster destroys Ryan Grant after he catches a screen pass. Crosby tries to tie it up with a field goal and... does. Then he manages to tackle Hixon on the punt return. He's been good today, Hixon, giving solid field position most of the time.
These Bud ads talking about "The Great American Lager" are pretty stupid. It's cheap beer. That's it.
After the Cowboys big loss, that Diet Pepsi Max ad is somewhat ironic.
Plax again. How is he doing this? Wasn't he hurt? Did they install animal parts in him during the week?
There goes Bradshaw. He's fast. I think they kept the right running back (they got rid of Grant, who's also good, but whatcha gonna do.)
The Dancing Fox Robot is troubling to members of my family.
Thaaat wasn't so good. Bradshaw gets stuffed. If they can get him free in the open field... that's the play but easier said than done. 3rd and 5. Manning had to use a timeout rather than get a delay of game penalty. Second time today that happened. I don't know about that. 1 timeout left now. What does it lead to? Offensive interference. So who cares. Actually, the Packers accept the penalty, which pushes NY back 10 yards. 3rd and 15. Bradshaw gets really close to busting loose. 4th and 5, and they go for it. Incomplete. BUT! Pass interference against Green Bay and... 1st down! Steve Smith actually made a nice catch after it bounced off Toomer. So 1st down, and the Giants throw to the end zone. I know, I know. What do I know? But I don't get it.
"It is cramps for Al Harris." Something about that just sounds odd.
Green Bay wastes a time out because they can't get it together on defense, so now both teams have one left.
That's what we were all waiting for. Tynes misses a field goal. It was too far to have him kick it, methinks. What is Coughlin saying to Tynes? Buck up little camper? Yelling at him? Neither seems like a good idea, although you hope its the former since Tynes may get another chance to kick a big one tonight.
Good pressure from the Giants, and nice coverage of Jennings to get a 3rd and 10, and then 4th and short(ish) but Green Bay punts. Defense stepped up there. Again, Favre is playing OK but not great. I wonder if anyone can play great in cold like this.
Green Bay has 31 yards this half? That can't be right. Is it?
Jacobs back and gets some quick yardage. The play calling seems to be veering back and forth between air it out and keep it on the ground. I know that's oversimplified but there's a strange vibe. That was good; QB sneak, quick 1st down. Let's not screw around. Keeps the clock running, which is good. Don't let the Packers get the ball back. It doesn't matter, because they throw on first down. Again.
Big sack and NY is done but Feagles pins them back at the 17.
Neither QB is throwing terribly well. With no glove on their throwing hands, I gotta think that it hurts just to hold the ball, much less throw it. 3rd and 15 now, and they get nothing. Why would Coughlin call the time out there, at 2:30? Giants should get good field position here. I guess he wants as much time as possible to get a score.
OK, that wasn't good for my nerves. McQuarters fumbles the punt, two Packers try to get it, and then Hixon gets it back.
Bradshaw runs it in... But it comes back on a Chris Snee holding penalty. Isn't he Cough's son in law?
2 minute warning. Actually 1:59, but who's counting?
Reggie Bush: Has there ever been a bigger gap between the achievements of a player and the amount of ads he does?
Steve Smith, great catch. Almost a first down. 3rd and 2, 1:37.
But wait. Oh, it's just a measurement. Did Smith have possession? I think he did. Yeah, we're good. And it's a first down. Outside of Tynes' field goal range.
NOW they want a review? After all that?
Two questions: are the Giant benches heated yet? And what hot beverage are they serving?
The nitpicking over completions is a bit much. Not just this play, in general.
After all that, it's 3rd and 1, not 1st and 10.
Clock running. Bradshaw gets the 1st. Still kinda far for a Tynes field goal. Less than a minute, another first down, and the clock is running down. How far do they let it go? Last second it looks like. It's coming down to a Tynes field goal.
It's coming down to a Tynes field goal.
Buck and Troy think Coughlin was yelling at Larry on the sidelines.
You gotta be kidding me. Bad snap, and it's nowhere near good. Overtime time.
Green Bay wins the toss. Coughlin looks like his face is going to fall off from the cold.
Does the Giant defense have another stop in them? We'll find out.
Oh-ho! Interception! Holy crap! Big play by Cory Webster. Favre looks... not so happy.
They're close but I don't know if you want to put Tynes back in that position again. 3rd and 5, gotta get a first down, right? Crowd still into it. 4th and 5. What do you do? Gives Larry another chance. 47 yard attempt.
HE MAKES IT! Holy shit, the Giants are going to the Super bowl.

NYG vs GB - 1st half

2008-01-20T15:27:00.001-08:00

ZERO degrees. As my six year old said, "Less than zero, but more than cold." The commentators look less than happy.
McCarthy had the Packers practice with frozen footballs, but indoors. Weird. Giants practiced outside. Not this cold, 20 degrees or so. If I'm one of the Fox crew, I tell the network, "Move this fucking thing inside. Now."
How did I get passed over for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award again? Jason Witten? Oh please.
"Ice Bowl III." People in Green Bay need to get out more. Oh wait, they can't. It's too cold. THANK YOU! TRY THE VEAL!
Atlanta is interview Steve Spagnola for the head coaching job? Sheesh. Dude wasn't even a coordinator until this year, right? And we like him now, so let's keep him around.
Uh-oh, Terry Bradshaw picked the Giants. Last two games, the entire Fox crew picked against NY and we know how that turned out. C'mon guys, I'm wearing the same shirt I wore last week, sitting in the same seat, etc. Get with the program!
A glass of water, frozen from being outside.
No turnovers. Thanks Aikman. He jumped on the NY bandwagon this week after we beat the 'Boys.
I hate to admit it but Joe Buck isn't annoying me as much as he used to. Maybe I'm growing up.
All righty then. Giants are kicking off. I know most people like these freezing games but with no snow it doesn't even have that "oh look, they're slipping all over the place" factor.
Why don't the linemen wear sleeves? It's a macho thing I guess but with minus 23 weather maybe you say 'fuck it' and put a damn shirt on.
The wind knocked the ball off the tee. Let me repeat that: the WIND knocked the BALL off the TEE.
Drunken Robinson on the return. Fighting already.
Pam Oliver doesn't get paid enough. She probably does but it looks really unpleasant out there.
Shit, first play, first down. Then Bubba Franks for another first. Bubba hasn't caught a pass since Clinton (another Bubba, get it?) was President. Tonight, he wakes up.
Ooo, almost a pick. Nice. and that's what we want to see from Favre today. Throwing to nowhere. I shouldn't say anything; Eli hasn't touched the ball yet.
Friend of mine went to high school with McQuarters. I didn't go to high school with anybody athletic. Wahhh, poor me.
American Idol. Feh.
I can't tell if Jacobs is starting fights with people or if he's defusing them. I think it's the latter. Defenders get pissed when he runs them over, they mouth at him, he says "it's cool, nothing personal, just business."
Run. Short pass. First down. So far so good.
And then... WHY ARE THEY THROWING EVEN SEMI-DEEP ON FIRST DOWN IN THE FREEZING COLD?
Poppinga. Sounds like a Japanese cartoon character. "Picachu, look! It's Poppinga! He's a very rare Pokemon!"
Nice one for Burress, 18 yards. Plax looks pumped. I think you probably have to get yourself really psyched up to play in weather like this.
Jacobs seems to like running outside, but that's really not his strength.
Lot of throwing. It's working which is a surprise. But lots of throwing. Eli is 3 for 4 for 31 yards. Not that that's SO much but it's much more than you would expect. There's another one. Hm.
Eli looks really confident. The whole team does, actually. It's much more pleasant to watch. I wonder how much of that is Coughlin behaving himself.
OK, here's my TFAG moment: it's tough to defend against the short pass. You can't stuff the box or a receiver will get open downfield, and even in the frozen tundra, you can complete 10 yard passes. So I guess that's the game plan. Interesting.
Manning makes that play (incomplete to Kevin Boss in the end zone) that's pretty impressive. The opening drive is good either way so far. Boss is 6' 7", that's big.
OK, not a good end for the drive, Eli throws it to a Green Bay player who luckily drops it.
Oh man, Tynes made it. Phew. 3 points.
Hey! Burress! I know Shockey's out but you don't need to step in for him and get penalties for fighting! Cut the crap, huh?
Packers get the ball back. The Giants really aren't screwing around here. It's pretty incredible how different they're playing now, as opposed to earlier in the year.
Oy vey. Bad drop, Amani.
OK. Tom. Kev. Everybody. Listen to me. You throw on first down, it doesn't work. You run two plays, get 6 or 7 yards, and that's not a first down. You come out running, get a couple, and you have a good chance of first. End of lesson.
Oh, wait. That's a fumble, not an incompletion. Incompletion. Oh well. Nice hit.
Visitors' benches not heated. Not nice, guys.
Burress having a good game here.
Oh, that was lucky. Burress got it, on a great catch, then fumbled and it went out of bounds. Lots of yapping between Burress and Harris. Burress throws his hands up as if to say, "Hey, not me. Not me." That's right. You're above that shit. Let them get the penalty.
Need to do less throwing here, guys. A couple of bad drops, Toomer, Smith. It's not working. 3rd and 12, yeah, that's a passing down, but still.
How did Sam Jackson get stuck in this sci-fi/action movie rut?
Tyree coulda caught that. That's a bunch of bad drops. 37 yard field goal attempt, Tynes makes it. Two for two. So far the only thing that's going as predicted is the weather.
Nobody can hold onto the ball today. Robinson looked like he pulled back from the ball a little bit there. Hard to tell. Look at those stats. Giants have held the ball more than twice as long as Green Bay.
Of course, it doesn't matter when Donald Driver burns you for a 90 yard TD. What the hell was that? I know I don't know a damn thing about what it's like to play football but whenever I see a play like that I always think the defender should hurl themselves at the ball carrier. Since it almost never happens I assume it's not that simple. A play like that gives the Packers such a shot of energy. Favre starts preening, the crowd goes nuts, Eli gets rattled... let's not throw in the towel just yet.
Jacobs looked like he had something extra on that run, pounding a little more, wanting the yardage more than before. Bradshaw gets dumped. He might not be as helpful in this game as he was before.
I know I've been saying no passing but that was a hell of a throw and a nice catch by Burress for a first down.
Eli keeps his composure, then throws it to nowhere, although it was too close to several Packers for my liking.
Stop saying Poppinga!
Bad. Bad bad bad. Three incompletions in a row.
So far both games are about getting touchdowns not field goals. San Diego gets four FGs, New England 3 TDs. Green Bay has 1 TD, Giants 2 FGs. Do the math.
Too much yakking on both sides. Let Buck and Aikman call the game, guys.
RW, WTF? No shoving.
Jacobs. Daaaaamn. Nice. And now holding? Where? What? That was bullshit. Now we're backed up again. Grrr.
Play clock expires, Illegal Shift penalty, or something. Holding penalty causes a punt, from the end zone. Great field position for the Packers. This is where the Giants make or break the game. (Hyperbole, yes, but whatever.) Can't let Favre score here. Or anyone else on the Packers for that matter. 3rd and 10, so far so good.
Ohhhhh, what was that? Come on. The fix is in, people. "Illegal Brett Favre not going to the Super Bowl. 5 yard penalty. Automatic-first down."
Good play by Pierce to stop a first down, and probably a TD. Now the Giants get the ball back before the half ends. Can Eli do the same thing he did last week?
Plaxico Burress. Coming through BIG time. 32 yard pass. Aaand then an incomplete pass that was almost an AMAZING catch by Burress. They're really pushing the envelope here with these long bombs.
What was that? No timeouts, Manning is running. I guess the play was blown. Now 4th and 8, 11 seconds left. Oy. And Manning goes down with a sack. Not looking good.

Heeere we go

2008-01-20T15:23:00.000-08:00

Shannon Sharpe on CBS:

Some lady has brought [something else] into the equation today, and that's Mother Nature. She's showed her ugly face today.

The 'something else' was something I couldn't quite make out.

Eli being interviewed on Fox by Pam Oliver: dude is very 'aw shucks,' and I think its genuine. I'm not nominating him for a Nobel Peace Prize, but there are worse things than having a QB who's not a douchebag (Rivers... Rivers...).

Tom Coughlin (also being interviewed by Pam) looks like a different guy. Calmer, confident but not idiotically so.

Coughlin's theme of the week: let's keep playing. Sounds good.

All Roads Lead to New York

2008-01-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

There are a bunch of storylines for this Sunday's game against the Packers, but one of the few that hasn't been beaten to death yet is the fact that somehow everything seems to connect back to the Giants.
Flip Bondy's column yesterday (Packer legend Vince Lombardi's saga begins in Brooklyn and ends in N.J.) points out that Vince Lombardi, forever linked to the land of cheese and beer, not only is from Brooklyn, he used to work for the Giants and is buried in freakin' New Jersey.
When Bill Belichick wants to show his players how to do defense, he pops in a tape of Big Blue from the 1980's.
(Bonus: check out this pic, featuring Bill B in unfortunate shorts.)

From left, Bill Parcells, Lawrence Taylor
and Bill Belichick with the Giants in 1986.
(Jerry Pinkus for The New York Times)

Ryan Grant, the new running back for the Pack, arrived in Green Bay at the start of the season. From the Giants. (For a freakin' sixth round pick, but we'll forgive Jerry, since he kept Ahmad Bradshaw.)

Everything goes through New York.

The Week That Was

2008-01-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

NYC has gone Big Blue Bonkers. When McQuarters intercepted Romo's pass in the final minute to seal the win for the Giants, I heard a fan outside my window shouting for joy. Repeatedly. The thing is, I don't live on a street with a bar or even an avenue that's frequently populated. I think it was one of the garage attendants but it could have been a random passer-by, or even a neighbor with an open window (it was cold, so probably not). I paused the broadcast (Tivo, so necessary) and listened.

When was the last time New York had a surprise team go this deep into the playoffs? After making it to the Super Bowl in 2000, the Giants fell apart a little bit. Tiki Barber hadn't become the great player that he was in his final two seasons, Ron Dayne was, well, Ron Dayne, and Kerry Collins never recovered from his Super loss. Collins stayed with the team through the 2003 season then left for Oakland to help Al Davis change his Depends.

And thus began the Eli era.

Or, if you prefer, the Coughlin era.

What's funny about both of those statements is that until a couple of weeks ago most New Yorkers wouldn't have been able to say them without sarcasm. Eli was OK, not great, but he showed signs of possibly becoming a solid enough quarterback. Maybe he would never justify the price Ernie Accorsi paid for him, but hey, you pays your money, you takes your chances.
Coughlin was another story. He was old, annoying, and just not a very good coach. He led the Jaguars to a championship game. So what? He couldn't handle this team and generally came off as a befuddled old man on the sidelines: arms flapping at the frequent penalties (interesting for a guy who preached “discipline”), stamping his feet at officials' calls, not knowing how to handle increasingly egotistical players (Tiki, Strahan), many of whom seemed to make game-changing mistakes more frequently then they made even halfway decent plays (Shockey). The coach had “lost the team,” he had certainly lost the fans, if he'd ever had them. At the end of the second straight first-round playoff exit, many screamed that Coughlin should be canned (and maybe even caned). But Mara gave him a one-year extension. This way he wouldn't feel like a lame duck coach, just biding his time until his eventual firing.

After a fairly dull pre-season, where most pundits predicted the team would win 4, maybe 5 games all year, the Jints seemed to be proving everybody right with two straight embarrassing losses. The defense gave up 80 points in two games. 80 points! What were we, the Browns? Or worse... the Jets? We had Tiki, who had retired from running his mouth in the locker room to take a less dangerous position of running his mouth on national television. The guy's been retired for a few months and he picked up right where he left off, calling out his former quarterback and saying that he didn't know how to lead the team. Eli, who usually didn't respond to much of anything (his nickname of “Easy Eli” was about to be replaced with “Mute Manning”), surprised everyone by (politely) telling Tiki take his talk and shove it.

Then came Week 3. The Giants came back from a 14 point deficit and then held the Redskins out of the end zone in the final minute. Suddenly Steve Spagnola was Superman. Coughlin was still a kook but he had seemed to calm down on the sidelines. The penalties had dropped. When Brandon Jacobs got hurt, we found out that rookie General Manager Jerry Reese had drafted a pretty nice group of young players, especially at running back. Jacobs is hurt? OK, let's try Derrick Ward. Oh, he's hurt? Well, we can go back to Jacobs. Season coming to an end, need to win some games, and Jacobs is a little nicked up? How about Ahmad Bradshaw, who now looks like he might be the best of the bunch? Screw Thunder and Lightning. This was Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guarded the gates of hell.

We all know what happened in Week 16. Coughlin, in a surprisingly ballsy move, decided to play to win. And they came extremely close, essentially giving the game back to the Pats in the fourth quarter. That's not a Wade Phillips-esque “the best team lost” routine – the Patriots could very well be the best team ever, Tom Brady is much better than Eli, and Belichek is much better than Tommy C – but if you watched the game, it felt like New York ran out of steam at the end. But somehow, even though there are no moral victories, this was as close to one as you were ever going to see. Something happened in that game that gave the team a spark that they've carried with them into Tampa, beating the Bucs as they should have. Then they beat Dallas, which they probably shouldn't have, but Wade appears to be a so-so coach at best, and Eli is actually a more experienced quarterback than Romo.

The Quote of the Week on Giants.com is this:
"That was the first time we actually all played together. We came out and showed what we’re made of. … We knew if the score was close in the fourth quarter, we were going to be alright. In the previous game [vs. Dallas] we had too much focus on keeping him in the pocket. This game, we just let him bounce around, but we kept him contained. We knew we were going to get pressure on the quarterback, no doubt.”- DE Osi Umenyiora on the Giants defense after Sunday's win over the Cowboys

Think about that first sentence. “The first time we actually all played together.” Clearly there were specific differences. Eli wasn't making bad throws to empty spots on the field. He wasn't throwing interceptions the way Jessica Simpson tosses her hair. The penalties had dropped dramatically. The defense, from Strahan to the growing core of rookies that were taking over the roster, was playing aggressive and smart football. But Osi is right – the most important thing was that they were playing together. No more Eli throwing a pass and finding that Shockey was somewhere on the other side. No more missed blocking assignments. Eli seemed less nervous, and the team wasn't giving up so easily. Think about it: that drive in the final minute of the first half against Dallas, where the Giants did in 30+ seconds something that it took Dallas 10 minutes to do, was something that probably wouldn't have happened in the regular season. Coughlin and Gilbride would have had Eli take a knee. But this is the playoffs. Screw it, let's go after these guys. That attitude started in Week 16 when they lost to the best team in the league.

The last time New York went this nuts for a team on an unexpected championship-type run was in the mid-90's, when the Yankees started winning regularly. But after they made the playoffs year after year, it wasn't enough for us anymore. We expected, needed, a World Series. Not just an appearance, but a win. Sure, the race for first in the division was fun. So was beating the Red Sox in the ALCS. But getting to first round, only to be knocked out by a Cleveland or a Detroit team? Please.

This Giants team wasn't supposed to do a damn thing this year. Except lose. And they won. Bizarrely, columnists (well, Lupica) are saying things like “even if they lose to Green Bay, it doesn't matter. This team achieved something great.” As stupid as that sounds, it's true. New York fans already won this year.

Now let's go disappoint Favre and a bunch of freezing cold cheeseheads.

Divisional Playoffs, Giants vs Cowboys, 2nd half

2008-01-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Coughlin wants to stop the run in this half. Not a good start there. Barber is tough to stop. 121 yards so far. Ugh. That time they stopped him.
Glenn with another one. Not sure what Joe Buck means when he talks about the snaps being late (I'm watching the game and doing something else too - SORry.) Dallas O-line is doing a good job keeping the pass rushers away from Romo. Except on that play where he ran right past a ton of Giants for a 1st down. They had him but he slipped out.
3rd and 12, thanks to a penalty. Dallas committing lots of those today. That gets them to 4th and 12 and a FG try. Horrible throw by Romo; if he's calm he throws that right to T.O. and it's another touchdown. Look at T.O. yelling at Tony. Not too badly, actually. Still, maybe this is the meltdown game. Oh please let it be the meltdown game.
Dallas looks a little downtrodden after that drive. Interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if Wade Philips wasn't any good at pumping up a team. He "treats them like men." Last time I heard that? Herm Edwards. That's working out GREAT in KC.
Nice return gives NY nice field position.
Jacobs pounds it out. Max Kellerman has it right, he's The Juggernaut.
Oooo, Eli. That hurt. Bad sack. Now to 3rd and 17. 4th down, not enough to try the field goal. Dallas calls time out for some reason, hopefully that'll come back to bite them later.
Aaron Ross is in a sling. Running out of players here. Giant players are starting to bitch and moan (well, Strahan is) and they all look tired. Bad penalty on Dallas, though, could give a little spark. Strahan had something to bitch about.
Ooo, if Crayton catches that pass that's an easy first down. Shit. Not looking good here, although at least they stopped 'em there. Need to SCORE. Now.
McQuarters with the nice punt return. I think the Giants have had decent field position all day. If I remember correctly, McQuarters is returning punts mostly because he doesn't fumble,
Sam Madison is basically coaching on the sidelines. I like it.
Gotta score a touchdown this time. Come on.
Eli's overthrowing everybody. Remember the running game? Remember Bradshaw and how good he is? OK, Bradshaw's in there now. Not sure why they seem to have given up on the run already. It's only a three point game. Wouldn't it be better to control the clock, keep the ball as long as possible?
The American Idol people scare me. That's fans and contestants. Oh, and the hosts. They don't scare me, but they're irritating.
There you go - Steve Smith, 1st down, 1st and goal. Smith has 4 for 48, that helps.
Sheee-it, cousin, that was a nice run by Bradshaw. Stopped at the 1, but barely. And Jacobs storms in, throwing the ball at the play clock, which was a little weird. Wade's looking nervous... which is reasonable, consider his past playoff experience.
Another Dallas penalty knocks them back. 8th so far.
Crayton drops another one. Ha ha. Witten catches one, boo-hoo. Then T.O. drops one. HA HA!
OK, we'll stop taunting Crayton. He caught that one.
Oh right, Indy lost.
Sacktastic! Romo goes down. Some receiver (Miles Austin? Who dat?) was open but Romo went down hard. Another incompletion and that's 4th and 13. Ha ha.
Romo's getting rattled, yelling at players and stuff. Punt is downed at the 3 yard line, feh. Jacobs pounds his way through to at least get them out of the end zone, but they don't convert. Too close to go for it I guess but that just sucks.
Oh look, women in the kitchen. I didn't know we had color television in 1952.
Those Mac/PC commercials would be insufferable except that it's generally acknowledged that Windows Vista blows massive chunks.
And now he's SACKED... oh ye-ah-ah-eh-ah... SACKED... 000 ye-ah-ah-eh-ah!
Witten. WITTEN. At least they stopped him before the first down. How are we not noticing that Witten is doing this frequently? Witten again, but theres a flag. Illegal formation on Dallas, so its 3rd and 9. Romo's getting really mouthy to the officials, which is unusual for him I think.
Automatic first down on a Giants penalty, which Romo follows up with Intentional Grounding. The officiating is a little wacky today on both sides.
Interesting comment by Aikman about the clock. Giants are pounding Romo and they're getting totally rattled. 3rd and 20 and they have to use a time out or take a delay of game penalty. Come on...
4th and 20. Strahan not on the field, not sure why but he looked really spent earlier so he might just be over tired. Punt-a-rooski. 3:46 to go, 21-17, New York Football Giants in the lead. Giants have 3 time outs, Dallas has one.
Let's see if they run the ball. They do. Bradshaw gets a few yards. It's an interesting strategy, using him at the end. I think that might be counter-intuitive, since he's a little guy (5'9", although at 192 lbs it's a big 5'9"). 3rd and 5, not good. Need to get the 1st. Oy, Eli gets sacked. 2 minute warning.
A 5'9" man should be, at most 176 pounds. So Bradshaw's kinda big, though not by football standards. A 6'4" man (Brandon Jacobs' height) should be 207 at most. Jacobs is 264.
Grr.... Need to stop them now. 2nd and 1, they stop Barber (actually he ran into his own O-lineman), clock is running, they get another play off, barely. Romo does a Favre and flips to Witten for a 1st down. Giant time out stops the clock at 31 seconds for Tuck's injury. (Acting? Dunno.) Jerry Jones is on the sideline. Giants need to step up BIG here.
Same weird thing with the snap not happening at the right time again, this time it's called as a false start. 2nd and 11 as Witten catches another one, gets out of bounds but it's because of a push and therefore the clock runs, so Dallas burns the last time out.
Romo gets hit, throws it away, 3rd and 11, 22 seconds left. Spagnolo is praying. Romo overthrows to the end zone, 4th and 11.
INTERCEPTION! GIANTS WIN! Jerry Jones looks like he just ate his own liver. No amount of lovin' from Jessica Simpson is going to make this one go away. Holy crap, we're off to Green Bay.

Divisional Playoffs, Giants vs Cowboys, 1st half

2008-01-13T13:39:00.000-08:00

T.O. is in, so is Terry Glenn. Jason Witten did an interview right before gametime. That would annoy me if I were a coach but it didn't seem to bother Witten, who scares me a little as a Giant fan. He had a monster season (96 receptions, 1,145 yards, 7 TDs) and really killed the Giants this year. He plays hard (like that run where he lost his helmet earlier in the season) and is just a big target for Romo pretty much all the time. Hopefully Glenn is rusty (like Marvin Harrison earlier today) and T.O. is hurt enough to slow him down. Then Strahan and the rest need to beat Romo like he owes them money.
The time that Fox gives you for the start of the game has as much relation to reality as most of the news on Fox News Channel. Wait a minute, I see a pattern here...
Joe Buck looking longingly at Troy Aikman... "Oh Troy, you're so manly..."
I think one of the sideline photographers is taking a picture of Pam Oliver's booty.
Giants have the ball first. Sean O'Hara is back on the field which is nice. The fill-in was fine last week but the Cowboys are a much better team than the Bucs.
The guy to watch is Kevin Boss. OK, I'm wrong, it's Brandon Jacobs, who opens the game with two carries, the second for a first down.
David Diehl is taking Shockey's place for "most tattooed Giant player."
Why is Eli throwing to the middle of the field this early in the game? He threw it away but to no one, although it was awfully close to a Cowboy defender.
Ooooo... DeMarcus Ware... Offsides! Third and less than a yard now.
QB sneak, safe play. Looks like they made it, but barely.
TOOMER! Another one for the old man! Stepping up in the postseason, some crappy tackling by the Cowboys and BAM. 7-0 in less than 3 minutes.
Cowboys, 3 and out, bye bye.
Toomer again, quick first down. What's that smell? Oh yeah, Tony Romo just crapped his pants.
DeMarcus Ware stops Brandon Jacobs, which ain't that easy.
Jacobs just pounded through some Cowboys, although he didn't quite get the first down. Most backs can't pound through like that though. He goes out, Bradshaw comes in and gets a nice few yards for a first down. Lot of people (OK, Mike Francesa) are saying that he could be a "really special player." Could be.
Jacobs split out as a receiver, which gives Bradshaw room to get another 12 yards. Nice.
WHY IS ELI THROWING BOMBS? This is what they didn't do last week and it worked great. Eli didn't hit Burress, who knows if it was overthrown or Burress just didn't get there. I wonder sometimes if the long throws are mostly for Eli's ego. I know, that would be stupid, but why else would they do it? Burress is hurt, and even when healthy he's not Randy Moss. Here's what happens: you waste a down. The big throw on 1st and 10 was meaningless, if they'd gotten even one yard on that play they'd have a first down.
Feagles is a punting savant. It's such a great and sort of odd skill, precision punting, but he's got it.
Aaaand there's T.O. Then Aaron Ross kills Patrick Crayton, which is what he should be doing. GO!
Big run for Marion Barber. See Tom? This is why you don't do that long bomb on a first down when your running game is knocking Dallas on their heels.
This is not what you want to see. Can't let them get into a rhythm. Crayton was open wider than Jessica Simpson for Tony Romo.
This is where the coach is important. I don't know if Belichek or Parcells say inspirational things on the sidelines but I bet they do something other than pout. Actually, Tom is fairly subdued so far, which is better than the arm flapping.
Barber, man. T.O. blocking. Come on, make a stop here.
OK, let's calm down, this is what we thought would happen. We knew the Cowboys would score. We'll just need to score too.
TD for TO, stupid challenge by Coughlin. Not a good move. We'll see if it matters.
Now suddenly we're in the 2nd quarter and it's 7-7. Bad call on that long pass play. I'm telling you.
Aikman: "T.O.'s got a little bit of the showman in him..." Really? I hadn't noticed.
Oy. Terry Glenn. Come on. This is not the time of the game when the Giants fall apart! (That usually comes later.) PICK IT UP!
Well thank goodness Matthew McConnohee and Kate Hudson are getting work.
2 minute warning and all is not well. 2nd and goal, score still tied. Now 3rd and goal. Spagnola furiously working his headset. Marion Barber... punches it in somewhat easily. Or maybe now. His knee kinda looks like it hit the ground before the ball crossed the plane. And four angels can dance on the head of a pin. Important minutiae, but minutiae still. TD stands. Loooong drive. 20 plays. Over 10 minutes I think. Not good.
"It's hard to win games in the National Football League." Aikman, you TFAG.
Whoah. Nice catch by Smith. Wobbly pass from Eli but it's caught and then he gets out of bounds. No he didn't, they called timeout. I'll take it. Smith again, this time he gets out. Good work. AND a penalty, which puts them deep in Dallas territory.
THE BOSS! 19 yards, 1st and goal, WHOO-HOO!
TOOMER! TOUCHDOWN! TIE GAME! WOW!

Colts vs Chargers

2008-01-13T13:12:00.000-08:00

Down to the wire, 28-24... San Diego. Ouch. If Peyton and Eli are Super Manning Brothers, looks like Peyton is Luigi. Time for Eli to be Mario. Big upset. Not really sure how that happened, even watching the game. LT went out, Rivers goes out, and Billy Volek wins the game. Tony Dungy definitely handles himself well, looking genuinely pleased for Norv Turner, who spent most of the game flapping his yap and complaining. Philip Rivers decided it was time to yell at the crowd at the end of the game, which he also did as he left the field with an injury. BIG win for the Chargers, crushing loss for the Colts who were heavily favored by the entire planet. Once again, though, Peyton didn't really get it done in the tight spot. You can blame Marvin Harrison being
out for most of the season, or any number of other things. But San Diego lost LT and Philip Rivers, and had a hobbled Antonio Gates. Yet they won.
Eli! Avenge your brother's loss!

Mike say: Look out for Tynes

2008-01-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday on WFAN, Mike Francesa said (not quoting exactly here) that "we've been waiting all year for the kicker [Tynes] to miss a game-winning shot." He went on to say that he could see Tynes blowing an easy FG, then watching Dallas' Nick Folk kick one through the uprights. To make him wrong, NY needs to come out and score right away.

Wild Card Weekend - Giants vs Bucs, 2nd half

2008-01-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

Fumble recovered by Giants! Tynes almost had it himself but he muffed it and Webster snagged it.
Memo to Jacobs: Keep pounding 'em. Actually, that's a memo to Gilbride. Yards is yards, y'know? Takes time off the clock, go to the pass when you want to.
Awful throw by Eli. He got himself some space but he threw it so high Warren Worthington III couldn't have caught it.

Best play of the day so far: screens and other short passes to Jacobs. Got good blockers, use 'em.
Eli throws a lot of balls too far or too high. False start? Giants? Hey, 1st penalty this game, not bad. Still 2nd and goal.
Hmf. Bad. Shoulda got a TD there. FG makes it 17-7.
That Oil of Olay ad reminds me a porno I saw once.
So a nice interception by Webster leads to a nice punt by Feagles. Eli was baaaaad. He gets flustered too easily, feeling the heat. Hopefully the phone they just handed him was his father or brother or a hot chick telling him to calm the fuck down.
Defense could win the game for New York but it'd be a lot easier if the offense could capitalize on good field position for once. Garcia looks awful; he's not throwing the ball with any accuracy. Maybe it's the time off or maybe it's Galloway's injured shoulder but that combo isn't looking like much at this point.
I smell anti-Giant bias. Buck says things like "the NY defense is doing well - so far," as if they won't keep doing well. On the other hand maybe he's a fan and knows what could happen.
What the hell was that? Oh. Burress grabbed the jersey. Too obvious. I don't know what the rule is but if an official sees a jersey get grabbed I have to think that's gonna get called. They should know that. 3rd and 7. Haven't been great today in tight spots like this but maybe they can pull it out...
They do! Toomer comes through at the right times, mostly. In that horrific Vikings game he dropped about 552 passes but sometimes he gets the job done when he has to, today being a very good example.
David Diehl goes out, Guy Whimper comes in. Someone with a name like Whimper sort of has to become a huge football player to avoid getting his head kicked in every day, doesn't he?
It's so hot players are requiring electrolytes by IV?
Boss with a nice catch and... run isn't exactly the right word but he gets more yards. Reminds me of Witten a little bit, with the shoulder pad popped out but keeps running. Also, he looks like a big dumb white guy. That helps.
TOOOOOOMER! Touchdown!
You know, just when you think you can start ~~surfing for porn~~ doing the dishes the stupid Schmucks get a touchdown and suddenly it's a 10 point game with under 4 minutes to play.
OK, let's pay attention here. Tom needs me. It's 2:45 and counting, and both teams have all their timeouts left. Bradshaw has emerged in this half as a good option for Eli. Tampa Bay has to start burning timeouts, which we like. Now let's see if they can get the 3rd and 3 and keep the ball away from the Bucs. Kept it on the ground and didn't get it done. The argument Joe Schmuck made about forcing Tampa Bay to burn time out #2 is good, and Aiky inadvertently affirms it by saying "yes, but if you trust your quarterback to made a good play..." which the Giants don't. Eli just flat out gets flustered. It's not only the loonies who could benefit from a little therapy, it's also the inconsistent players who seem like they could be better if they didn't collapse under pressure.
Oh that would've been nice, but McQuarters doesn't get his feet down in time. But wait. I think he did, and the booth wants to check it out. That could be it if the call gets overturned. Come on guys, let's get the call in already, I got stuff to do here. Like watch the other game.
YESSS!!!!!! INTERCEPTION!!!!!!
INTER-CEPTION (clap clap clapclapclap)
INTER-CEPTION (clap clap clapclapclap)
1:53 left, Schmucks only have one time out left, let's see what they do here. Run, good. We're done here. Next week: Dallas, who, according to convention wisdom, is totally screwed. Next week!

Wild Card Weekend - Giants vs Bucs

2008-01-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

Just for yucks, let's call them the Schmucks.
This is where Brandon Jacobs is from. Nice short piece on Countdown this morning about him. Apparently he was wearing 3-6 month old clothes at birth, and rolled over the day he was born. Screw Tiki, I prefer Brandon.
Nice weather in FLA today. Eli's happy, he says.
Anthony Mix had a great play yesterday for the Redskins. I know it's not a big deal but in Mix looked good in the pre-season and NY can use anything they can get now.
No O'Hara. Lots of people say that's a problem but we'll see.
See, first throw is to the new TE Kevin Boss. If the Giants win, look for the headling "Meet the New Boss." You heard it here first.
Jacobs tries to run outside, which isn't his strength. Not good. Not sure what else there was to do but I bet he gets at least two yards rather than losing two, leading to a low toss to David Tyree that he drops. Hey, nice work. Feh.
Earnest Graham? EARNEST GRAHAM?!?!? Who cares? Joe Schmuck is talking about him like he was LT2. SCREW HIM.
Galloway was open wider than Lindsay Lohan on that play.

Now the defense is stepping up a bit. 3rd and 15, we like that.
Enough with the debate about whether or not the Giants should have played their starters last year. It's over. She has your t-shirt, she sold your CDs on ebay. Move on.
Nice blocking by the Schmucks to free Earnest Graham for a good run. Giants have to be insanely aggressive on defense, the offense is good but the play calling isn't. I don't want to see Graham out rush Jacobs today. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT.
Tom Coughlin - Are you a sucker? Or a sucker BUTT?
Oh HO. Not good enough, Earnest Graham. Where's your praise now, Joe Schmuck? I smell anti-Giant bias from Aiky-Breaky Troy and Joe ~~Buck~~ Schmuck.
Dammit. The only thing worse than a Giant loss would be a Giant loss at the hands of Earnest Graham. Because then Joe Schmuck would be right. Which is a sign of the apocalypse, or at least a sign that Joe will be more annoying, if such a thing is possible. Touchdown. Tampa Bay. Earnest Graham.
If BJ isn't getting it done, try Bradshaw. It's called "change of pace." Perhaps the Giants coaches have heard of it.
Montay Kiffin may go work for his son Lane at the Jokeland Raiders.
Hey! Penalty against the Schmucks! Whoo-hoo! Let's see some capitalizing on that, New York.
Eli doesn't have a great group of WRs but it's not like he has nobody to throw to. Bucs pass rush is looking like the Giants-fast and dangerous.
That should've been a sack but it didn't matter much since Jeffy G threw the ball low leading to a punt. Good field position for New York, let's see them do something this time. It's been 3 and out each time for them so far.
Somebody on the Giants - Gilbride, Eli, Coughy - is anti-dink and dunk. Short passes are suddenly working for them, which makes sense if you look at the Bucs defensive stats: #2 overall defense, #17 against the run. So it's not a lot of yards, but they can be beaten. Let Jacobs keep squeezing out a yard or two at a time up the middle so Tampa stuffs the box, then Eli can hit whoever is nearby. Of course, if nobody can catch the fucking ball it won't matter.
Steve Smith is no good. Time to cut him. Too many dropped balls. Either teach him how to play or accept that he stinks and let him out.
There's a stat: -2 total yards for NY in the 1st quarter.
Toomer woke up. Don't ask him to be Joey Galloway just ask him to get open in the short field.
Hey! Nice play by Eli and Jacobs! Actual clever football.
SACKED! If you can plant Garcia like an orange tree, you take away a big part of his game: mobility.
Bottom line: this Bucs' team isn't that good. IMO they seem to win games with Garcia throwing for under 200 yards, with the defense keeping the score low. Can't do that forever.
Gwen Stefani is way hot.
Once again, we insult Giant players, and they play better. STEVE SMITH! NICE CATCH! FUCK YOU!
JACOBS!!!!! OK, him we don't insult. I might be the guy's biggest fan. It's weird how little credit he seems to get. 2nd touchdown and it's only the first half. Good blocking + enormous running back = points for the Giants.
I don't think Tampa has great offensive weapons either, but they seem to have a better offensive scheme. Alstott, Askew, Graham, these aren't immortal names but they get open and that makes a difference, especially with a mobile QB like Garcia. Of course, even if they complete the short passes, it doesn't matter as long as the Giant defense swarms the receiver as soon as they make the catch.
Good catch by Hilliard, but was it enough for a 1st? Let's see.... Yes. Yes it is.
New York stops them but doesn't bother trying for more points before the half, which hopefully won't be a mistake.

Week 17 vs PATS - 2nd half

2007-12-29T18:56:00.000-08:00

A knee in the end zone from the Pats to start the half. Interesting. New England is running out of gas a little bit here.
Surprised to see Ben Watson, I thought he wasn't going to play. All Giants' 1st stringers are on the field.
That was almost an amazing catch by Randy Moss. But he didn't and that's 3 and out, baby. Punches are starting to fly. This kind of puts the whole "meaningless game" business to rest. Both teams are playing as if this was the playoffs. And why not? They get paid to play, despite what commentators say.
Lots of RBs are described as "running over people" but Jacobs literally does it. Dude is big. Suddenly, NY has a running game again. Cris Collinsworth drools over Madison Hedgecock, the fullback. Heh heh. Hedgecock.
Touchdown Burress! Holy crap. 28-16. At some point even Belichik has to give it up, right? No way Coughie pulls starters at this point. You can't. Too close, too much momentum.
Brady just looks like he has no idea Strahan, Pierce and the rest are trying to kill him. He's good. Nice throw to Watson for a first down there, then a big pickup for Welker. See, even if the Pats score here, they're still down by two scores. Nice moves by Welker there for another 1st. Brady avoids some defenders but NY gets flagged with an interference call, which ain't good. Puts the Pats on the 1 yard line. Brady overthrows Vrabel, which might actually be a first - he usually catches those. Illegal formation penalty, which nobody seems to understand. Is it cuz Vrabel was in when he shouldn't have been? Don't matter cuz Maroney prances into the end zone to narrow the gap, 28-23.
Let's play the Cris Collinsworth drinking game. "Unsung heroes" - take a drink.
Big 1st down - Eli to Toomer. Oooo. Bad sack. Eli mostly just slipped on that one, he ran too far backwards. I do that in Madden some times. Of course, I'm not being paid a fortune to play. That makes it... 3rd and 22. U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, that's just ugleeee... Jacobs pounds out a few yards but it's not enough. Would've been without the sack.
So if New England scores here, does Tommy C pull players and throw in the towel? I don't think so, although he's so weird, who knows. They stop Maroney for a loss. 3rd and 9, then 1st and 10. Everyone on the Pats plays hard and plays well. Play clock ran down; I thought maybe somebody jumped offsides but I guess not (or they did and nobody noticed).
No 1st down that time. "A tad high," Cris? Come on.
3rd and 11, and the Giants don't convert. Neither team is doing much on offense right now. Bad throw by Brady, followed up by a really awful drop by Moss. He should've had that. Not easy, OK, but he would've waltzed right into the end zone. But then he does anyway on the next play. Ooops. And a two point conversion. And Brady breaks (Peyton) Manning's TD record. And Moss breaks Rice's record.
Bad penalty for the Pats - 15 yards for hitting a player out of bounds. Nice run by Jacobs is coming back.
Interception, 1st of the night for the Pats.
That may have been it for any Giant momentum here. 38-28 Pats.
Now the Pats are committing penalties for dumb things. How Shockey of them.
1st and goal, less than 2 minutes to go. Now is when the fact that they aren't well coached becomes a problem. They've wasted about 50 seconds on the last 2 plays.
Touchdown #2 for Burress. FWIW, this is going to be down to the wire.
That had to be Tynes' fault. Onside kicks aren't supposed to be in the air.
No moral victories but the Giants played damn well tonight. That's it. Next week in Tampa Bay.

Week 17 vs PATS - 1st half

2007-12-29T17:07:00.000-08:00

Collinsworth says something really dopey: the 72 Dolphins "don't talk about their individual accomplishments," they talk about what they did as a team. It was 1972. Enough already. Get over it. Yes, it was a good thing. But it was over thirty years ago.
Bradshaw and J-Load are inactive. Glad I picked up TJ Duckett in fantasy.
No J-Load means more Eli? I don't know. They have Anthony Wright too, who at least has played before.
Wow. What an honest and unrehearsed statement from Roger Goodell. Hey Roger, my toaster called, he wants his personality back.
Lots of starters in. Jacobs running full out makes me a little nervous in terms of playoff readiness but I guess Tom knows what he's doing. (Ha ha.)
NICE catch from Burress. That'll get the crowd going. Burress is so much bigger than Ellis Hobbs that was almost a joke. Then Steve Smith drops a pass, and Coughlin threw the flag. Why? You have momentum, but the ball popped out. BUT it popped out out of bounds. I don't know what the rule is on that. Hopefully Tom does although this may be one of those blustery Tommy C decisions. Yes, that's what it was - challenge failed. Steve Smith stinks. Coughlin stinks.
Burress gets another one. Hey, maybe practicing is OK. First down. Brady does not look happy.
Nice play by BJ - catch, run, stretch, touchdown. Pats look a little shocked.
Tynes makes me nervous every time he kicks. Did I mention that?
So now the Pats start marching down the field. I know there are no moral victories, blah blah blah, but if the Giants can keep pace scoring-wise with the Patriots and lose, I think that's not bad. Winning would be better of course.
4th and 2 and they go for it... and make it.
Held 'em to a field goal. Hm. We got a game here.
Interesting. The thought is that Brady will try to feed the ball to Moss to get the record "out of the way" as early as possible. So the Giants double and triple covered Moss. And it worked. Hmmmm.
Toomer drops a pass. 41st of the year, says MumbleGumble, and it's Feagles' time. Not good. How do you drop that many passes?
Brady's definitely feeling the burn from the Giants' pass rush. He's thrown the ball away a couple of times, which I think is unusual for him. If this were a Joe Torre team he would say that the Patriots were "pressing" and the Giants were "just having fun."
I don't think Maroney is the great running back that NE wants him to be. Hey - that was some sack on Brady. Penalty flag is... illegal contact?!?!? Automatic first down?!??!? More like Illegal Patriots Might Lose.
So what are the Giants doing well? Defense: stopping the run (Pats can't get anything going), and pressuring the QB; Brady has been fitutzed since the start of the game. Randy Moss is down, what's up? Ooo, nasty hit, but Moss ran into the defender. I kind of don't want Moss to break Jerry Rice's record. I don't care a lot but if I have to pick, I'll go with Rice. But then Moss is back in on the next play, and catches a touchdown. League scoring record broken, Brady ties Manning, and Moss ties Rice. This is why the Patriots are a scary team, they can do shit like that. As for the excessive celebration penalty, fuck you refs. I'm not a Moss fan but that wasn't exactly a major penalty. The ref imitating it for Bill B and Moss was almost worth it.
Giants run one in on the kickoff. Belichik just popped a Rolaids.
Maroney runs through a Giant hole in the line (pun intended). Is this where the Giants fall apart? Not yet guys, you got 'em on the run.
Now they've remember how to tackle. They just forgot for a few plays.
Why are they showing Tom Brady in his underwear? Oh, it's from the combine. Still, why the beefcake shots?
Either Welker is damn good or the Giants keep not finishing their tackles with him. Or both. In the words of the great Homer Simpson, it can be two things.
STOPPED! Field goal is... good. 14-13. Nobody's messing around in this game.
For no reason I can give you, I have a feeling Kevin Boss is a good Tight End, maybe as good as Shockey. Why are so many tight ends enormous dumb-looking white guys? Then Rodney Harrison knocks down a pass meant for Boss. That was a bad choice of play, Harrison was there from the beginning.
Giants are definitely giving the Pats a game here, which indicates several things. One of them is that they weren't playing up to their potential in some other games this season. Although Baltimore and Philly played probably their best games of the year against the Pats, despite losing. If nothing else, the Giants will give Tampa Bay a hard time and maybe even win.
Ha ha. Tried to hit Moss to get the double record, but NO. Ha ha. Another field goal. Nasty stat though: Pats have had the ball more than twice as long as New York.
Hot damn. Great play by Eli, running around, avoiding tacklers, hitting Kevin Boss for 23 yards. Then Shaun O'Hara (center) goes down after getting nicked by one of his own teammates. Another enormous lineman comes in, we'll see what happens. Toomer makes a decent catch - hell, he makes a catch - for another first down. Then a toss to Jacobs who pushes forward for another first down. Time running out guys... now Jacobs and Seau are fighting, which runs about 10 seconds off the clock and makes the Giants call their last timeout. Wilfork poked Jacobs in the eye. OK, here's the penalty... wait for it... NOT charged with the time out. This guy Carey (I think that's his name) is my favorite ref to watch. Maybe this is the way the Pats fight - a little dirty, not with big punches but with little pokes when nobody's looking.
And Eli takes off, running to the 4 yard line, getting a first down, calling time out... That looked good, man, I have to say. Tom Brady looks really unhappy. He might need to get a new supermodel girlfriend to cheer himself up. Especially now, after Manning throws ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN to everyone's new favorite player, Kevin Boss. Jeremy who?
Now there's an interesting shot - Matt Cassel warming up on the sidelines. Do they pull Brady if they're still behind after three quarters?

Week 16 vs BUF-2nd Half

2007-12-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

Eli throws a pick and the Bills get a quick and easy TD. What no one is saying is that Trent Edwards is outplaying Manning big time. Sick. Again, why isn't Jacobs running more? Now he is but that's after the INT. So again the coaches are reacting rather than making good calls based on being smart. Of course now Jacobs seems to be hurt.
Burress almost makes an amazing catch but it ends up in a (dumb) penalty.
Here's a thought: the Giants have had multiple runner do very well this year. Maybe the O-line makes holes well. Like the Texans, or the Broncos (sometimes). Bradshaw, a backup RB, makes some nice runs. Suddenly Eli is mostly handing the ball off. And it's working. Let's see how long it lasts. Now Droughns gets it twice but isn't getting it done. So they try Bradshaw, and... no dice. They go for it from 4th and a half yard, making the Bills burn a time out to prepare. I guess it worked, cuz they stopped the Giants easily. Dammit.
3rd and 9, Bills pinned back after NY fails to convert on 4th and .0001. 4 minutes left to go in the 3rd quarter. Giants can still back into the playoffs but that's not really the goal here. Jacobs is back in and busts a first down right away.
This is a scary statement: "that's the first time we saw something different that the Giants put in." You mean the play calling on this team isn't creative? You don't say? Jacobs gets stopped on 2nd and 1.
Another time out? Why? And after... a fumbled snap. "Self-destruct" say the TV guys. Oh yeah. It looked like Eli took a dump and out came a ball. He STINKS. 3rd turnover. They're facing the direction where all the points have gotten scored. Giants are -12 in turnovers, according to Fox. Well that INTERCEPTION!!! made the ratio a bit better. OH YEAH! That was just dumb luck but at least he got it into the end zone. 24-21.
Lynch breaks 1000 yards in his rookie season. This still isn't a good team, the Bills. The Giants aren't either. They are doing a halfway decent job of stopping Lynch, however.
"Barry Cofield does not get fooled on screen passes." Ah, with those immortal words, we will go all the way to a Super Bowl victory.
Good stop. Almost a penalty but he got away with it. For once.
Now Bradshaw picks up 5 yards for the Giants. Don't matter, NY goes nowhere. Then there's an INT that wasn't (bounced out of Butler's hands, karma in action for the pass intereference call that didn't get flagged.) And a fumble that NY can't come up with. The D is mostly playing well, especially the past few series. They're not able to make those big plays when they need to. The ball and the field are clearly soaking wet, but since they knew what the weather was going to be like, they should've prepped better.
Why on Earth are the Giants throwing? It's hailing. Is that the time to go to the pass? Tom? Kevin? Bueller? Anyone?
"Throwin' into the wind... Yes we'll be throwin'... throwin' into the wind..."
Bills are going the wrong way, Fox points out. How the hell do you play in this weather? You could run, but that would make sense. More importantly, how does anyone live in Buffalo? Seattle has a higher suicide rate? Why?
Bradshaw? BRADSHAW? BRADSHAW!!!!!!!! 88 yard TD, 3rd longest in Giants history, which is pretty impressive. He has 131 yards, Jacobs has 145. Will this show the Giants that they need to run the ball? Sure, when Ann Coulter converts to Judaism.
Whoah. Another INT returned for a TD. By the Giants. No. Really. I mean it. Hey! Come back here! I'm not fucking with you, I'm completely serious. There, now do you believe me? Thank you. Sheesh.
No Shockey, no problem.
Eli is 7/15, 111 yds, no TDs, 2 INTs. But it doesn't make any difference because they're up by 3 scores, thanks to great running and a heads up defense. Tell me Fox didn't just miss an interception so they could show us Siragusa in the booth. Maybe everyone was dizzy from the smell. Of Siragusa. HA HA!
Even in garbage time,
This is so not a day to get doused in Gatorade. I wonder if anyone's ever gotten electrocuted?

Week 16 vs BUF-1st half

2007-12-23T10:03:00.000-08:00

Tynes kicks it out of bounds. The Bills start at the 40 yard line. If they don't get rid of this guy at the end of the season (or maybe by halftime) I may have to start rooting for the Jets. OK, that won't happen, but still.
With Buffalo getting the ball to start the game (winning the toss), and then Tynes booting it out at the 1 yard line (did we mention he sucks?), they could start out with a quick score in what could end up a low-scoring game. Oy.
Lynch is a good running back but you'd think the Giants would know that and be able to stop him. Or maybe sack the QB when he's on the run like he just was. But hey, why should they play well? The season is over, right? It was a hold, and the Bills get bounced back 10 yards. Edwards is almost sacked again but this time dumps it off to Lynch and he goes for a bunch of yards (30, if you're counting). The Giants thought he went out of bounds and the defense gave up on the play. This leads to an easy flip to a tight end for a TD. I blame: Tynes. Coughlin. Can't blame this one on Eli, guys.
So now that the Bills did some passing, are we going to see the Giants try and do the same thing? If Eli is in the same situation as Edwards just was, I don't know that he gets it off to anyone in time.
Right, the 52 passes last week. That was brilliant.
Now they come out and run right away. You don't get the sense that Gilbride and Coughlin are guided by a sublime kind of intellect. Sometimes it seems like they're barely aware of what's happening in the game, sometimes they seem to be completely reactionary.
3 and out, and apparently Roscoe Parrish is the #1 return man in the NFL. And he goes for a nice gain. THANKS TYNES.
And we're back. Buffalo, a team that really isn't all that good, is looking like the Patriots today. Roscoe Parrish makes an amazing diving catch for 42 yards, then Lee Evans gets a TD immediately. The Santa Cheerleaders dance, Coughlin says fuck, and it's 14-0.
Trent Edwards: "Drafted with the 29th pick of the third round (92nd overall) in the 2007 draft…the sixth quarterback drafted, the only one taken in the third round"
Eli Manning: you know that story.
Decent field position. Eli passes to Jacobs'... back. Nobody on this team seems to be aware that they are playing a live game. I have Tivo, so I can rewing and watch it again. But you are playing for real, fellas.
Giants: 1 yd/play. Bills: 10.5.
NICE catch by Toomer! Finally. Something. Sometimes there are moral victories. They say Toomer was down by contact. I don't know what the rule is exactly but he was touched. "Uncle Petey touched me..." And Jauron was right, he was down. Don't bring me down...
More long pass plays that go to far. More Eli letting the ball slip out of his hands. OMG, that was embarrassing. Somehow the announcers seem to be talking about how much the offense misses Shockey and his "attitude."
Coughlin turns down the chance at a long field goal in favor of pinning the Bills inside their own 10. Tynes can't make 50 yard field goals (he can't make 30 yard field goals). Of course, when the defense jumps offsides right away it kind of doesn't matter. See, they're sort of keeping Lynch in check a bit, but with the extra five yards they gave them for Christmas... hold on. That was even worse. A Giant defender flew across the line - Pierce? How does he do that? He's not some rookie nitwit. Shit.
Pierce steps up and pounds Lynch. "A little excited for a guy who just jumped offsides..." Yeah, that's this team all over.
I want to like the Giants. It's hard this year though. There's just this... malaise.
Giants lead the league in sacks with 49. Interesting. A lot of it is the big game against the Eagles.
Bills get hit with a false start. OK, game changing play! Let's go! Whoah, I was right. There you go. Botched snap, fumble, Giants get it at the 25. CONVERT. NOW. The wind is blowing like crazy and the Giants actually run instead of pass. OH YEAH!
Rain is pounding down and the Buffalo fans are showing why we're glad we don't live there. Cheerleaders are giving up. They looked like they had to be freezing in their little Santa outfits, which aren't all that hot in the pouring rain. Manning to Toomer again, a successful pass. But why throw it on 1st and goal? Why not try to get a little bit more with Jacobs? It's turned into a Brazilian rain forest on the field. "With this weather, don't you think maybe they should be running the ball?" Thank you Goose, and then a TD. YESSSS!!!! Compliments on a block. Blocking fascinates me. I think that's what I would've done if I'd played football.
Cleveland/Cincinatti, weather's fine, 3-0 game. Buffalo/NY, weather is horrible, 14-7.
Last week I call Shockey's fate (off by 2 yards, but didn't go over), today I call the game-changing play (maybe). Clearly Coughlin's job should be mine.
Again the ball slips out of Eli's hands. But on the punt, Feagles goes down. If only it were Tynes. Can we have Jay Feely back? Please? We know we made a mistake.
JACOBS! BREAKS OUT! AFTER THE PENALTY! HOT DAMN! FUCKIN' A! 43 YARDS! LONGEST RUN OF THE YEAR! THERE! YOU! GO!
So now that the team is back in this game in a big way, we can discuss something. Is it fanly to wish for a team to lose so that something else happens? In this case, getting rid of Coughlin. The truth is, he should've been bounced last year, not because the team didn't go far in the playoffs, but because he doesn't seem to know what to do with these guys. I'll stop short of saying he's a crappy coach, although that's what it looks like to me. I don't think this team is anything spectacular but they show enough spark at times to make you wonder what a better coach would be able to do. If NY loses today and next week, I think they have to fire Coughlin. Still, you can't root for your team to lose. Right?
Toomer's having a good game. Well, 3 catches, but for 70 yards. He's a b-level player but gets the job done.
You have to question putting Tynes in for a 42 yard attempt on 4th and 2 in a tie game. It worked but he's so bad.
I think if a defender hits the receiver after the catch that should be a fumble, not an incompletion. Something else: look at how well the Giants are playing all of a sudden. Obviously there's a huge mental component to football (and all sports). So the coach's pep talks and actions must have a gigantic effect. While all this is acknowledged, it's not acknowledged enough.
"Last week it was execution more than play calling." OK, maybe. But if they aren't making the plays, why call them again and again (and again)? As if to prove my point, Steve Smith drops a pass. No, it wasn't easy but you gotta do that. OK, I'll be a TFAG and say "you gotta make that catch!"
The Giants are actually benefitting from the other team making dumb mistakes. And Shockey is out. Interesting... Suddenly Toomer steps up big, and Shockey is out. Hmm...
AGAIN Eli botches a throw. I think that was an incompletion rather than a fumble but the officiants disagree. End of 1st half, Giants up by 3.

Week 16 vs BUF-Pregame notes

2007-12-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

On ESPN Sunday Countdown, nobody picked the Giants.
Stat of the morning: 92% of the teams that started 9-4 (since 1990) have made the playoffs.
This is "the battle of New York" - but I don't think anybody cares.
Shockey being out could be a good thing: let's not forget the dumb penalties at the wrong time. And his backup scored last week almost immediately after entering the game.

Kevin Everett Kicks a Cop! (No he doesn't)

2007-12-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

Week 15 vs WAS - 2nd half

2007-12-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

Now come the giant Giant penalties. They do seem to have figured out that Portis will be running the ball however. And Andrea Kramer really does look cute in the wind.
Here come the Redskins, again. This didn't feel like a blowout in the first half but it's starting to look that way now. Portis runs hard in for a TD. Gibbs decides to go for 2 which seems odd when you're up by 19 points, but hey, at least it's not only Coughy that can make weird choices.
Shockey down for the injury time out... Maybe I was right...
Wow, I was. Shockey leaves via cart. 18 yards.
Smoot back in the game and really giving it to the Giants, much like he gave it to some babes on the boat a couple of years back.
Kevin Boss - good name for a football player. Takes over for Shockey and gets a TD. Like it. Like it. I LIKE IT!!!!!
Its amazing to watch the Giants defense, who have proven that they can play really well when they want to (want to? I don't know) totally fall apart as the game goes on. Sometimes. They're really inconsistent and it's in a weird way. Hard to think it's anything other than lack of focus. Which would mean BAD COACHING.
Well I guess they need me to yell at them because they just beat the crap out of Todd Collins, who did intentionally ground that ball. He did. But it doesn't matter cuz it's 4th down anyway.
It is NOT a Toomer. Holy shit, that was pathetic. He just dropped it. Had it in his hands and it fell down. Would've been a TD. At least that convinces Coughy to let Jacobs run it.
Sinorice Moss does the exact same thing that he did earlier - has the 1st, then turns around to try and get more yards. Hey Sinny. You go THAT WAY. Remember that.
All of a sudden this is a game. Eli needs to play like it's the 4th quarter all the time. They should just tell him every quarter is the 4th; that's where he plays best.
Shockster out with a fractured leg. They say it's "terrible" but if this new guy is good it might not be.
Tynes. Tynes. Tynes. Why is he still here? Bill Belicheck would have had him killed by now.
They stopped them at least but now the Giants have to do something they've been having trouble with lately, which is SCORE.
OK, I need to pay more attention here. Nice play on 4th and 1.
Manning is 16/41. 16. 8 drops, so that would be 24/41 if the other players could make a catch. Boinnggggg, but no INT.
Whoah, nice catch by Steve Smith. Then 4th and 2, and Jacobs pounds through the line, he's up to 116 yards. Then on the next play he drops ANOTHER pass. Here's the thing Coughman - if they keep dropping passes, MAYBE YOU STOP THROWING SO MUCH.
No scoring on this drive, even after two 4th down conversions, then they fuck it up on 4th and 5. Really bad.
Now they've used up all of their time outs, which I don't fully get but maybe there's a method to the madness. Maybe.
Now we're back to just plain madness.
Andrea Kramer mentions a conversation with the very chatty Strahan and points out something interesting. If they lose tonight and next week, they would need to beat New England in Week 17 in order to make the post season.
Aaaaand that's it.

Week 15 vs WAS-1st half

2007-12-16T17:05:00.000-08:00

The snow is mostly gone, but its still kind of gross down in Jersey. Andrea Kramer looks sort of cute in her hat.
The ball wobbles off the tee. That's wind, baby! All running tonight. Apparently Todd Collins doesn't like throwing into the wind, which Madden says is true of every QB. Since Todd hasn't started a game in 10 years he might want to think about handing it off to Portis as often as possible.
Shockey doesn't exactly scream "intellect."
Oooo, much too close to an INT by Fred "Dildo Man" Smoot. I don't know what that pass was.
Good run for Jacobs. He's not Tiki but Tiki wasn't Tiki until he played for a few years. If Coughy can get him to stop fumbling (which he did for Barber) he could end up a solid back for the Giants.
This could be a good drive if they don't fuck it up. And... they do. Not sure what's up with Eli's throwing but maybe it's the wind. Hey, here's an idea. RUN THE BALL.
The Sunday Night Football theme is to the tune of "I Hate Myself for Loving You," which is just weird.
"No one plays well here," says John of the Meadowlands.
Burress really could've made that... maybe. I think he got bumped and then that was it.
The one thing that the Giants have consistently done well is have really fast guys on defense. It was a swarm on that punt, all over Randle El, who appears to have a sense of humor, at least in his video intro. I've never liked those for some reason.
"Clash of the Choirs" looks like a pathetic attempt to appeal to middle-American religious people. Cuz they really don't get enough attention this time of year.
Jacobs has 3 fumbles in his last 29 touches. I'm guessing that's bad.
On 3rd and 9, why a short pass to the running back? I realize I know nothing but what's with that? Now they go for it on 4th and 1, and Droughns looks like he gets it. Its short, though. I have to question whether or not Coughlin knows what he's doing.
This commercial with the ref tackling a player - it's for Bud Light. Does that mean he's drunk?
Wow, this Redskins offense is really something. Something CRAPPY.
Could this team win a playoff game in crappy weather? The defense can definitely get in the face of a lesser QB, although they need to finish tackles - the last sack of Collins (actually, it probably won't be the last sack of Collins - HEY YO! Is this thing on???) they just kind of tapped him down rather than planting him like a tree.
With those Cialis commercials: do you think they actually know of a situation where a guy had an erection for more than four hours and lost the ability to see?
This drive:
Jacobs' Run.
Jacobs' Run.
Pass to Burress, first down. That's a dangerous play but I guess it worked. "Dangerous" is a little strong.
Oh, John, enough with the complaining about Plax not practicing. He's hurt, not a dick. He's having a good year. And there are other receivers on this team that do practice and they ALL SUCK. So leave Plaxico alone!
Well, I guess I was wrong about no fumbles from Eli. Fuck. He looked bad there, kind of bush league. NFL Europe. Arena League. Sandlot, Pop Warner, whatever. Not good.
I'm always curious about what it's like for a QB to step in late in the year, when he wasn't expecting to play at all, and he hasn't played in a long time. In Collins' case he appears to have lost a lot of ability.
Giants get a break on an interference call that doesn't appear to be noticed, but Madison drops the INT so I guess that's balance. Sort of.
Eli's stats kind of blow but the team is winning games and they'll probably get to the postseason again. Since 2004 his INTs are second worst in the league, his rating is below average and he basically isn't playing all that great. But if they win, does it matter? This year is probably the last one that he can get away with losing in the first round of the playoffs again.
Once bitten, twice shy I guess, as Coughy opts to punt instead of going for it.
Portis get a nice block and busts out a few more than he usually does. He's having a really shitty year. He's hurt but he also might be at the end of his run (pun not intended). He appears to be falling, Shockey-like, after his runs. I wonder if that's the field. Both teams are playing as if it's a Nor'Easter.
The might Skins O can't get in the end zone but they do manage a 49 yard field goal. Lots of almost INTs for the Giants tonight, which to me indicates a lack of hustle.
Lots of Jacobs, so I was right about that so far.
John, Shockey is not a very good blocking Tight End. He's OK. Not great.
Jacobs dropped that pass. Bad move. Eli's starting to do what his brother does, with the bitching and moaning when a play goes bad.
OK, Randle El forgot his helmet. That's great. We like him.
Well, this is turning out to be a thrill a minute.
Wow, this Redskins offense. Amazing. Why aren't they running more? It seems like an odd choice to have a QB who hasn't played in ten years throw as often as possible on a really windy night.
Here's the game: Eli hands off or passes to Jacobs. Droughns pops in once or twice. Then he throws to Plaxico. For the Redskins, Collins hands off to Portis and throws incompletions to Chris Cooley. So far that's all you need to know.
The next record Bret Favre will break is most minutes spent lathering up his buttocks during a football broadcast.
DON'T THROW TO YODER! If you have to score throw to COOLEY or hand off to PORTIS! Ack.
Who's this guy Bradshaw? Got 8 yards.
Shockey on his way to the 20 yards I predicted, before he leaves with an injury.
Dropped by a rookie Tight End named Matthews. I guess this is the time of the game when Coughy decides to just use whoever is out there.
This is just a dull game. I bet NBC is wishing they could've chosen the Pats/Jets.
Here's the thing: both teams look like crap but the Redskins are winning 6-0. Collins isn't playing well but neither is Eli.
That punt almost rolled into the end zone. Windy.
WTF? Sinorice Moss just had a first down but walked back to try and get more yards. Lack of focus, dumb mistakes. Second verse, same as the first.
Angry old Coughlin is showing his crankiness again.
Collins actually isn't playing that badly. Receivers on both teams are dropping passes all over the field. Nice catch by Moss, the Redskin one. Maybe he wants to show his brother how its done.
And how did that happen? Betts? BETTS???? If they'd gotten their hands on him and wrapped up he might have gotten tackled.
J-Shock. Stop yelling at the other team. It will draw a penalty at a bad time. You know this because it has happened many times before. You should not be doing it. OK? Got it? 18 yards, 2 more and you can get hurt and go home.
After a nice stop by a WAS defender, he taunts Burress and gives NY a first down. Hey, it's like Christmas! Now Eli throws a completion - no, really - and another 1st. Now some running, clock is ticking, a Fred Smoot injury stops the clock so NY holds onto all of their time outs. But Eli and the boys do NOTHING, so it's Tynes time. He makes it.
Madden points out that WAS is fooling the Giants D with the same plays. Now WAS is marching down the field. Once again, NY seems to be giving up early.
BOOOOOOOO!!!!

Week 15 vs WAS-Pregame notes

2007-12-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

I played this in Madden (2005, but hey) and NY won in OT. The weather shouldn't be too much of a factor, although the field will likely be wet and it might rain a little at some point. My fantasy team has tanked in spectacular fashion so I could use a NY win. Not that it's all about me.
Prediction: 21-17, NYG. Jacobs rushes for 70 yards but Droughns vultures 2 TDs. Eli plays well enough, 1 INT, no fumbles. Plax gets 80 yards, Shockey gets 20 before he goes out with an injury. 3rd TD is from an INT return.

Shockey on New Year's

2007-12-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

OMFG.
Via Newsday's Giants blog.
"Does Shockey really need an internet ad to get guests?" they say. Who knows? It's probably some party promoter who put the ad up on Craig's List. A better question is why the hell is Shockey doing this at all? And if the Giants make the playoffs (which they likely will), isn't this a really bad idea? That is, to be partying like a Shock star right before the post season begins. Maybe he's had so much to drink over the course of his life that he's wasted all the time, so it doesn't matter what he does off the field. That would explain a lot, actually.

Week 14 vs Philly - 2nd half

2007-12-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

2nd half not much better. Lots of barn burners like this one going on today in the NFL; low scoring, bad playing (maybe, I'm only watching this game).
Held 'em to a FG, which helps.
4 flags! What is it? Who did it? Eli is hovering over the refs like a nervous mommy. Delay of game? For the spike by Burress. You gotta be kidding me. That was ridiculous. Plax shouldn't have done it but that's a pretty shit call.
Somewhat similar to last week, this Eagles team isn't all that good. Which means the Giants should win, right? But they aren't playing well at all. Remember Week 1, when they scored a pile of points against Dallas? That was then.
Back and forth, back and forth. Bor-ing.
FUMBLE! Finally something good for the Giants. Hopefully they won't
1st fumble by Westbrook in 557 touches. Sheesh, that's good.
Andy THROWS that flag! Hot damn! Impressive throw, tubby. I think he was down but I'm biased. It's a little unclear. This is one of those times that the replay rule is a little annoying. I know, maybe it'll go my way, but it slows the game down so that it's almost baseball-like.
So it went my way. Love that replay rule.
OK, look. Plax is hurt. But the guy really can play. Shit, without him, the Giants are out of a lot of games. 13-10 Giants.
Sack #2 for McNabb. Not a big one but we'll take it. Ten to go.
Houston is beating Tampa Bay, Detroit is beating Dallas - weird day.
STOPPED. Got the ball back. This game is moving slower than a pitcher's duel.
OK, watching some guy rub Strahan's back while he puts his head in the dude's armpit is just kind of disturbing.
One more chance to not stall in the red zone. Aaaand it happens again. They just can't get it done once they get there. Why is that? I blame... Tommy C.
Another sneak for McNabb. Maybe Andy Mayo is trying to get him killed rather than trading/cutting him at the end of the year. Not that I think he should do that, but it's gonna happen.
Coughlin cursin' on camera!
Aside: not to go all Kornheiser on ya but I played all of the wrong guys in Fantasy today.
Big penalty. Why is it that sometimes it's a first down and sometimes it's just five yards? NFL has too many rules.
Burress with a big catch on 3rd and 1. Not sure what the goose-step was at the end but I'll take it.
Really nice run by Jacobs. This is what the team is supposed to look like, frankly. Of course, he did fumble at the end, but maybe he was down. That's a perfect example of what's happening with the Giants - a nice run that ends in a fumble, even if it was a questionable fumble. Well, there's the replay, and no, it was a fumble. Fuck.
Now's the time in the Giants' game when they fall apart!
Do not touch my monkey.
Pierce stops them, and no flag, which makes sense, cuz it's not like the Giants are the Patriots or something.
I'll say this, the games recently have been exciting at the end.
Coughlin needs to show Jacobs whatever he showed Tiki about how not to fumble.
Philly has a couple of time outs so NY still needs to get the 1st downs and keep them away from the ball. Jacobs doesn't get it, so they have to decide what to do. 4th and 1, 1:15 and counting. I guess they wait until the last possible second, take the delay of game penalty... no, wait. Eli calls time out when the play clock gets to 1. That confuses me but what do I know. Feagles on to kick, he's actually start to look as old as he is. Eagles are out of time outs, so I guess that makes sense. Jeffy F can really put the ball behind the 10, it's kind of amazing. Westbrook gets out of bounds but he doesn't have anywhere to go so he's backed up like a senior citizen after a plate of corn and cheese.
McNabb makes a big toss and gets some key yardage. The Giants defense is asleep at the switch here. No time outs, McNabb stops the clock, makes the throw to the sideline to stop it again, Akers comes on to make the long field goal attempt. This would tie it, 57 yard attempt is... NO GOOD. Oy vey, kish mer tuchas, that was much closer than we would've liked. One second left. Akers looks like he's going to commit hari-kari. And that's it. Giants win in spectacularly lame fashion.

Week 14 vs Philly - 1st half

2007-12-09T10:04:00.001-08:00

Plax left the field during warm-ups. Not sure what that means yet. He's active but maybe the injury caught up with him.
Some guy the Giants cut returns the opening kick off for 26 yards.
Looks like the Eagles' offense is dialed in, marching down the field. If I'm McNabb, I might throw the game just to piss off the Philly fans. They really treat him worse than a red-headed stepchild. You'd think he was, y'know, Eli or something.
I think some of the Eagles' players were just stepping on Reggie Brown on the sidelines.
Andy Reid looks like he sweats mayo.
Strahan, you SUCK. Westbrook just beat him easier than... well, even easier than he just scored. Coughlin is looking at his feet. One of the Giants' defenders barely went after Westbrook on that one. I don't know if he would've had a chance to catch him but don't you at least make the effort? Not on this team I guess.
Just showed the replay and the Giants looked like chumps on that one. Really ugly.
Jacobs gets a few but he's been hurt and may not produce. Looks like Burress is on the field, we'll see how he does.
OK, Brandon? Dude? You're good, I'm a fan. But you really can't do that sort of thing unless you really know you can bust a decent run. The stutter-step thing is fine but that just didn't work. Aaaaand Eli goes down. This is doesn't look good.
Finally a good play from the D.
That was a false start. I could see that from here. Surprised the flag didn't fly sooner.
Andy Reid just went for it on 4th down and I disagree with the commentators. I think its OK to do it because if you make it, you really put some fear into the Giants. Of course, now McNabb got himself hurt a bit so I guess they're right an I'm wrong.
Aside: I really hope Detroit beats Dallas today. Really. Can't stand the Cowboys.
Eagles are getting knocked around hard. Suddenly the Giants are playing a little better. Then Eli throws a ball to somewhere that no player actually is. So maybe not.
Jacobs came very close to getting a first down there. That kind of sums up this team right now. Almost good enough, but not really.
McNabb had all the time in the world. Not because the Giants weren't pressuring but because they didn't finish their tackles. McNabb looked good but this isn't the McNabb from a few years ago.
Trick play from the Eagles. I need to see if someone tracks these because it seems like there's been a bunch more this season. It's stupid. I know it's fun for the coaches and maybe even the players, but you can only do it if it works. Greg Lewis throwing passes? Um, no. Would've been nice
Giants are 5-1 on the road this season. It's an impressive stat actually. If they win today that'll help, although if I had to pick right now, I'd say it doesn't look promising.
Bad hit by Lito (whoah-oh-oh...). Fans are booing, shockingly. I think if one of the Eagles' pulled a gun and got a penalty they'd boo that too. Maybe this is a turning point in the game. Maybe. I hope. Please.
Good field position after those penalties. Not much on that pass but if they just keep moving it they'll get there. This team isn't all that great (the Eagles I mean).
ROO-BEN! ROO-BEN! Wish he'd finished it off with a score but that was nice. That looked like a bad tackle to me.
What the hell was that? Good thing the penalty was against Philly or else I would... well, pout. I don't know. Love that "half the distance to the goal" penalty when they're on the 1.
Shockey missed the ball! And he's MAD about it! Really mad! That time I think it was Eli's fault. The throw was way off. Tommy C is pouting. And here's Droughns running into a big pile of Eagles. Why? Why why why?
Eagles have tapered off and the Giants have a shot here after McQuarters' return to midfield. The announcers don't seem to know who's playing; he just called Eli "McNabb". 30 seconds on the clock, Giants are trying to get a score before the half, and they're having their typical hard time doing it.
Here's what's so frustrating: every now and then, Eli makes a great play. Like that one to Plax, who catches the ball and gets out of bounds immediately. Then he throws the ball to no one in particular and gets it knocked down. Aaaand who were you throwing to there Eli? They say Moss but I thikn that's generous. It was nowhere near him.
3rd and 10, let's see if they can make this happen. Five seconds left. Do the Giants take a shot at the end zone before the half? No. Probably the right move but it still feels lame. At least Tynes made it.

Week 13 vs Chicago - 2nd half

2007-12-02T15:03:00.001-08:00

Tynes needs to go. Now. As a fellow Scotsman (dad was Scottish, so I'm half), it pains me to say it, but the thought of him kicking in a tight spot is about as appetizing as a plate of cold Haggis (or warm Haggis, for that matter.) He kicked it away from Hesty, but out of bounds. Rex and the boys couldn't get anything going, so it didn't matter. Coughlin may fly over O'Hare airport, he's flapping so hard.
Manning: 9 passes. It's funny, because he's thrown one pick and fumbled. So that's his fault. Much in the way that the fumble by Derrick Ward was Ward's fault. FUCK.
I wonder if it's too late to get the thumbcasting gig for the Browns...
The defense isn't the problem here. Not that they're the best in the league, but it's the offense that appears to have a crew of head cases (Eli), loud mouths (Shockey), rookies (Ward) and guys who get injured easily (Jacobs). Unfair? Maybe, but
THERE's a penalty on the Bears. OK, the refs are OK.
Grossman really does stink up the place. You can see where in a college situation he might've been good, since he can throw far and has a teeny amount of fire behind him when he plays. But he just sort of throws the ball sometimes, even more erratically than our boy Eli.
Another fumble.
Shitty spot leads to a 4th and 1, which Droughns converts. I have to think that a play like that gives a team some confidence.
Shockey catches it! And falls down!!!! If he'd run after the catch it might've been a touchdown! But he didn't! So it's not!!!!
WOW. They make it so close to the end zone, but Eli throws a pick. This just bad.
As bad as Eli looks, I think I'd take him over Grossman. Rex appears to just be throwing the ball to... air. He keeps missing guys by a lot, even though they're open. So the Giant defense is playing well, but mostly Grossman is stinkin' up the joint.
It's still a game here, with 10+ minutes to go. The pick in the end zone before hurts bad, cuz with a FG at least it'll be
CHI was leading in penalties, and NY had only one until a minute ago.
Bears are playing like crap. This isn't like last week, when the Giants certainly could have won but would have needed to do a whole lot more. Today they really just need to do, you know, anything on offense, and that could get them a win.
Shockey. You got the call. Shut up. Nasty hit brings them to a first and goal.
3rd and goal, Toomer looks like he caught a TD, but the officials said it hit the ground first. If they get it, this game is nice and close, without it, it's baaaad. I know, I said that already. Is it indisputable evidence? Not really but it sure looks like a catch from here.
THEY GOT IT! Maybe the officials just figured the Giants needed a break. It's not overwhelming evidence but it does look like a catch.
Why, oh why, oh why are they still letting Tynes kick the ball? This is the second time IN THIS GAME where he kicked the ball out of bounds. He did it in the last game too, and the Vikings don't have a Devin Hester. (They do have an Adrian Peterson, but he wasn't playing last week. Never mind.)
Quick three and out for the Bears. If the Giants win this game, Strahan will be very busy explaining how great their defense is, forgeting the fact that Rex Grossman played like crappola.
Eli is suddenly playing pretty well.
From Fox: Total yards this quarter - NY: 90, CHI: 1. ONE.
David Tyree, stepping up when they need him to. I'll take it.
OK, under 2 minutes, Giants in the weird position of trying to run the clock down so they can score and not give Chicago a chance to get back in it. Please don't let it come down a Tynes FG. Please. Please please please.
Plax snags it with a nice catch, but Chicago calls time out, giving the booth some idea that it wasn't a good catch, although it was. Come on guys, let's get this going, I got things to do.
Aikman says take a knee, then kick the field goal. Run the clock down. Of course, that's not what they do. Now they have a kick to Hester (again), and 90 seconds with a time out.
They stopped Hester. Good. Coughlin's new thing appears to be hopping, rather than arm flapping.
Another stat that isn't tracked: the Giants tripping Adrian Peterson. Weird but it works. They get the 1st down, and Grossman spikes the ball petulantly. Still one last time out for the Bears. Bad penalty again (false start). Dropped pass to Rasheed Davis, 3rd and 15. Bounces off of Berrian's hands for a 4th and 15. But Grossman hits Muhammed for 20 yards! 1st down. Dammit! 17 seconds left, they call the final time out. They need a score, though. Read Cough's lips: "Oh my God." Way overthrown to the end zone. 11 seconds left, no more time outs. Eli: get some energy up, man. This is exciting. Grossman throws another looooong incompletion. If they gave points for looking like you were throwing a great pass that led to a score, Grossman would be leading the league. 4 seconds left. Pass knocked down and... GIANTS WIN!
Fuck, that was good. I need a minute here.

Week 13 vs Chicago - 1st half

2007-12-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

Didn't post anything this week. Mostly absorbed the fulminating by NY media outlets over Eli's crappy Sunday, which was followed by the Knicks National TV collapse. Always fun in the big city.
And heeeere we go:

Derrick Ward is in. He's pretty good. Not a world beater, but good. Good thing we had him, since BJ proved to be as injury prone as everybody thought.
THERE you go. Urlacher. Interception. Right at the start. If he has another horrendous game, he's in biiiiig trouble.
"It seems that there are a lot of miscommunications." Well, yeah. Although the point here is that it may not be Eli's fault, not entirely anyway.
Beat Grossman! Can't stand the guy.
Grossman plays better than Eli, a lot better, man oh man, is this gonna get ugly.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if the receivers and the QB aren't on the same page in terms of route running, it's the coach's fault. Eli may be making poor decisions, but at the same time, if he really expects a guy to be in a certain spot and he's not, somebody has to address that.
Love it when the home team boos a penalty that's against them. As if no one can dare rule against their team.
Sinorice Moss is my co-pilot.
Oh right. The punt to Hester or not punt to Hester thing. Just don't punt to him, you dummies.
3 and out, but no punt returned for a TD.
Big Game - Bernie - BERRIAN! Oh, this looks really bad.
Bears punt. Good.
Some fighting there. To quote Wyclef: No Fighting!
Over-under on stupid penalties by the Giants today (this isn't official, this is me making it up): 55 yards. I'd take the under, but barely.
On the sidelines "Shockey was doing most of the talking," says Pam Oliver. Alert the media.
I'm missing how this is in any way Burress' fault. I could be wrong here but I think he gets a lot of flack for missing practices - not flack exactly, but "maybe he shouldn't play if he can't practice" type of stuff. But Shock Man, who to my eyes seems to be running the wrong routes, doesn't get slammed by the commentators.
False start, 69. That sounds dirty. Also a 5 yard penalty.
I just remembered something from Francesca's show this morning. To paraphrase: Giants run ball well. Bears can't stop run. Giants run ball. Giants win. Capeesh? And yet, we see Eli throwing.
At least they punted to Hester but pushed him out of bounds right away.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BULLSHIT. Just needed to get that out. Thanks.
HA! Hester dropped a sure fire TD. HA HA! The not-so-funny part is that he was more open than Britney Spears after a few vodka and Red Bulls. The guy isn't a receiver, so you give him a break. YOU give him a break, not me.
CHI leads the NFL in drops. And they just had a delay of game
No safety? That was a safety. Wasn't it? They pushed Grossman back 20 yards. Nice punt block gives NY unbelievable field position - like at the 32 yard line. Then Ward runs it for 31 yards, with some nice moves, especially a few to stay in bounds. Droughns punches it in for a 1 yard TD. But Lovie challenges it. After the play. Excuse me? EXCUSE ME????
I don't know what the result will be but that's bullshit. How do you accept a challenge after the freakin' play?
And now they stop Droughns. That was crap. Replay shows that Lovie threw the flag too late. And the Giants, because they're really dumb, are just going to do the same play, whether it works or not. LAST CHANCE GUYS. Make it work.
Hate agreeing with Joe Schmuck but he's right - "Justice was served." Ward punches it in. Right now, he looks much better than Reub, which means Reub will start getting more carries. I'd prefer to be wrong about that.
Ward's a funny one. He's not a chugging type of back, but he's not exactly Warrick Dunn either. Size-wise I guess he's a little Jones-Drew type: 5' 11", 228 lbs. (MoJo is 5' 7", 208). BJ is 6' 4", 264 lbs (sheesh), Droughns is 5' 11", 220 lbs. It's funny, because Reub looks like a "chugging along" type of back, and Ward looks more sleek. But he's actually a little bit heavier.
OK, penalty on Chicago. Illegal touch. Again with the dirty terminology. Football is a filthy, filthy game.
Something weird is going on here. That was obviously a case where the Bears touched the ball first, and it took the officiants a week and a half to figure that out. What were they waiting for? Are they Bears' fans?
McQuarters not so exciting on the return game but at least he didn't fumble.
Chicago got some nasty weather on.
Whoah. Derrick Ward is looking like Devin Hester Jr. Really finding the holes (which I guess you have to say the line and blockers opened for him), nice little cuts, good speed.
Oh fuck. What the hell was that, Eli? That was horrible. Ball slipped out of his hand while throwing. That's baaaad. At least it was only a field goal but man, this isn't good.
Here's my advice: turn 'em loose. Fuck it, let Eli go no huddle. OR just feed the ball to Ward. Do that. Ward's averaging 10 yards per carry. Are you kidding me? Come on, Cough.
Hedgecock? Who the hell is Hedgecock? This is annoying.
GUYS! No fighting! Wyclef said!
If nothing else, NY is showing how to pin Hester back. They kicked it to the corner of the field, and then the Giants pushed him out of bounds at the 10. Take that, Sauerbraun.
I know I said before that it wasn't completely Eli's fault. It's not. But it's kind of his fault. Rex Grossman is having a much better game than Eli.
I'm glad it happened to the Bears (Desmond Clark called a time out) but I don't think players should be allowed to call time.
This is an ugly game in terms of how the players are treating each other. Surprised there wasn't a foul called while Madison sat on Rasheed Davis for an extra coupla minutes.
When Grossman's wrong, he's way wrong. He threw that ball to Wrigley Field.
Peterson! What is it with guys named Adrian Peterson? What are the odds of two good rookie running backs with the same name? The Giants just didn't stop him.
But man, when Rex throws it wrong, he really throws it wrong.
And again, Rex is pounded into the ground a bunch of yards behind the line of scrimmage. Umenyiora, we like you. Sack number 11 for him, 5 sacks total today.
Robbie Gould isn't Jewish, but he should convert. He made the FG, but that could easily have been a TD.

Week 12 vs Vikings - 2nd half

2007-11-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

Coughlin says "we have to throw to win." Childress says he's going to beat the crap out of Eli. He "sees something in his eyes." A "lack of confidence." Great.
FINALLY. Toomer usually steps up when the rest of the team falls apart.
Actually, for all of my whining, what the team actually has to do is not give up. They're very good at giving up.
Hey, Bradshaw. Who is this guy? Ahmad Bradshaw. He looks pretty good. Only a couple of carries but right now, we'll take it.
OK, we like him, but let's not put the game on his shoulders. He's had a whopping 1 NFL carry. Now 2.
What was that? Shockey was right there. He didn't turn around. He was blocking. I think. Watching the team today, it's hard to figure out what the hell they're doing from play to play.
Burress was making those catches in the first few games of the season.
Eli looks like somebody stole his shiny new ten speed.
Tynes, FG attempt. Hold your breath. Oooo, that was close but he made it. 24-10.
Fred Robbins with another sack. The pass rush is good, especially against sub-par teams.
Wow, Jackson just took off for a 19-yard run there. The entire Giant D was nowhere to be found.
This supposedly spectacular Giant defense is showing that they aren't really all that good. I mean, they're good, but they aren't a legendary shut-down group. As if to prove it, Strahan allows Tavaris Jackson to get away and run for another first down.
Hey, a penalty that wasn't against the Giants. Well, there was one against the Giants too. So let's not get too happy here.
So the VIKINGS are controlling the clock. Interesting. I think somebody said that would happen...
OK, good stop by the Giants, keeping the Vikings to a field goal. They held the ball for over nine minutes. OVER NINE MINUTES.
Bradshaw's a gamer. I like this kid. He doesn't get the yardage he wants on a kick return, even though he gets a decent amount, he's mad. He wanted MORE. And not like Shockey-mad. Like, I'm a gamer, I want to play well mad.
Nice flip to Shockey by Eli! See? You need to LOOK AT THE FIELD and see who's there. Then you THROW THE BALL TO THEM. Right? Right.
Eli is scolding Bradshaw for not blocking better. Um, isn't it the kid's first game?
Another INT, but it's not. Coughlin challenges, which is a good move because on replay it's obvious that the ball hit the ground after the INT. Still a crap play by Eli but at least it didn't result in anything bad.
Actually, it ends up pretty good. Nice, early season style catch by Burress.
Oh sweet honey in the rock. This is horrible. That's three INTs returned for TDs. THREE. INTERCEPTIONS. RETURNED. FOR. TOUCHDOWNS. Plus another pick for good measure. 41-10. 4th quarter.
Aw, aren't the Albert kids cute. Anything to distract from this game.
41-10. 41-10. 41-10. Mostly interceptions. Just like 2005. Only worse. Much worse.
So what do you do? Do you bench Eli? Of course not. Do you fire Coughlin? You should but they won't. They seem to like him. Here's an idea: start penalizing teams financially for losing. Is that why the owner's never seem to care that much? I mean, of course they care. But it never seems like they care as much as they could. Or should.
Plaxico is hurting the team by playing? I don't know. If he's hurt, he's hurt, but if he can play he should play.
What was that Eli did? It looked like the 'drinky-drinky' motion. I could use some vodka right about now.
FINALLY a TD. Plax. Less than 6 minutes left so, like, whatever. But maybe it's good for morale.
OW. Helmet to the back for Eli. Shit.
Oh wow. That was vile. Eli running, running away, and... he falls down. That's not even a sack is it? Wow. That wasn't... wow. Fox fellas are right, get him outta there.
Darren Sharper singing "I Love New York... and New York loves me." Oy.
Hey! How come the Vikings are running up the score? Heh heh.
That's all folks. They're not actually going to bother running up the score. Man, that was awful.

Week 12 vs Vikings - 1st half

2007-11-25T09:55:00.000-08:00

Aside: why is Fox the Frank Caliendo channel? I like impressionists but I'm getting really tired of Frank. Maybe when his TV show gets canceled they'll dump him, or at least cut into his time a little bit.
Also aside: Interesting Mort story on Countdown about colleges that may be looking to NFL assistants to fill their coaching vacancies. College football annoys me.
Conventional wisdom says that this will be a big game for Eli. Could happen. Chester Taylor is averaging 5+ yards per carry. If the Vikings just keep on pounding it out, they'll run time off the clock and maybe E will have to make bigger than usual plays in order to score.
Siragusa says Giants need to blitz to keep pressure on the Vikings and not let them run the ball effectively. Vikings' O-line is good, but Giants D-line "wants to pass rush," so they can't stop the run if they try to block the box.
Aside: I'm glad Beyonce is getting some work. I was really worried about her.
I don't care how cold it is, Giants Stadium is a great place to watch a football game. Not that I'm there.
Tynes, you fucknut. All you do is kick and you can't even do that right. Out of bounds, putting MIN on the 40. NY was also offsides - on the kickoff - but they were spared the extra 5 yards.
OK, maybe they can block the box. Giants just pushed Taylor back for a 1 yard gain.
WOW. What the hell was that? Sydney Rice with the big reception. That's not what they were supposed to do. Tell me they didn't just fake out the defense with a stupid play action... oh. Yes. That's what they did.
Aside: this Onstar commercial is enough to scare you into buying the service. Fuckers.
So 41 seconds in, it's 7-0 Vikings. I blame Tynes. And the Giants defense thinking they're too good. The one thing nobody ever remembers when predicting Giant games is all the penalties and dumb mistakes, like the kicker booting the ball out of bounds on the opening kickoff.
Nice return from Bradshaw, a rookie.
There you go. Reuben. Sometimes I know what I'm talking about.
Good catch Shock! He jumped! Amazing.
I need to look up Shockey's yards after the catch stat. Gotta be like 4 yards. He never runs.
New t-shirt for Burress: no practice, no problem.
This is what you want to see. Move the ball, move the ball, move the ball. Pass, run, pass, pass, run, all forward movement.
Droughns is a good running back. He's big, runs hard, and is just tough to stop. #1 run defense. Fuck that.
What was Eli throwing to? The play was blown dead but he panicked. "Half the distance to the goal" is about ten feet, but I'll take the first down.
Droughns leaps in for the TD. Nice.
See, this is what you do. They score, you answer, quickly. Nothing fancy, just showing that you can play. Clearly having Guy Whimper in as an extra blocker did the trick.
Aside: Wanda Sykes should do more ads. I like her. She almost makes me think Applebee's isn't completely disgusting.
Hm, yes, Fox announcing team. This is different than you all thought it would be. Giants ran the ball, Vikings threw it. FASCINATING.
How did the Giants not recover that fumble? Good sack but now the Vikings actually gain yardage on that one.
Tavaris Jackson is a funny one. He doesn't seem to be very good but the team likes him, and he's being pushed as a future star. He's 4-2 as a starter, which isn't bad at all, but he has almost no passing yards.
ANOTHER penalty?
There we go. That's the other thing good teams do - stop the other team from scoring.
Tynes: pay attention. That's how you kick. Pin them behind the ten. OK? Put down the haggis and start kicking better.
INTERCEPTION! What the hell was that? This is not good. Eli threw the ball to a Viking. Shockey didn't even turn around. So who's fault was that? Shockey's, but Eli shouldn't have thrown the ball his way. It's not all about trust, Eli.
Thanks for reminding us of the game 2 years ago, guys. Darren Sharper got 3 INTs. Now he has one that he's returned for a TD. In the first quarter. Fuck you.
I don't want to give succor to the enemy but the Viking Kittens are a classic.
THAT was a good play. Eli pumps, stops, pulls back, then hits Toomah for a first. He had time, but he also allowed himself to take the time.
That pass to Toomer was the longest completion Manning has made in 5 games? 31 yards. That's Plax not being 100%. He's the big play dude.
I'm not sure if S. Moss fell fown there or if Eli overthrew him. Yep, it was Moss.
What was that? You're down by 7 points and you go for it on 4th and 5? Toomer and Shockey were both open but Eli threw to an imaginary receiver. I know that they run these routes, and the QB expects them to be in certain spots, but doesn't he look first?
OW. Big sack by Robbins. He just picked up Tavaris Jackson and planted him in the ground.
What was the penalty? Illegal Contact. Nowhere near the play. So a great sack turns into a first down by penalty. That's a stat the Giants would lead the league in.
Taylor and Droughns are a lot alike. Backups, decent players if they start. Pounders. Just keep hitting and running and you'll get a few yards.
Peterson seems like a good dude. Like he wants to be a star and has star quality.
ANOTHER INT? There's a flag. But it's against the Giants so it doesn't matter. This is really embarrassing. Eli is playing like crap but the illegal formation isn't his fault.
Chester Taylor, TD. That was fucking ridiculous. The Giants just kept not finishing the tackle, and Taylor didn't give up.
The Vikings are on their way to becoming one of "those teams" for Eli Manning. Stat: 6 quarters against them, Eli has 6 INTs. That's baaaaad.
See, maybe they should've listened to me. Run the ball. Look, 14 of the 21 points the Vikings have are the result of interceptions. So OK, you can't run the ball against these guys. So what?
Droughns gets some praise for his blocking ability. Great but it's still a 14 point game.
This is turning into one of those "why am I watching it" games.
Giants play the Bears next week. That's a chance to win, I guess. Of course, so was this week.
One bright spot: this guy Bradshaw seems to be a decent return man.
Hey! Steve Spagnola! Stop hugging Brad Childress!
OK, here's the Eli 2 minute drill. Let's see it. This is something he can usually do and now would be a good time.
Coughster: now is not the time to go to the run. Should've established it earlier. Might be too late now.
Toomah. Dropped the pass. Bad.
Not "a great effort from Jeremy Shockey"? How can you say that? He's the hardest working TE in the NFL!
Penalty, Chris Snee. Coughlin's son in law. Figures.
What can you say? Right now, they stink.
45 seconds left in the half. Let's see if there's any gas in the tank or if it's all between Coughlin's ears.
Manning just had a bucket of time and he did nothing. Was there no one open? Did he get rattled? They look like a high school team.
And SHOCKEY drops it. Tough catch but he could've gotten it. If the team isn't completely out of sync he probably does.
That was pathetic. Eli either misses his spots, or if he hits the receiver, he drops the ball. Lots of chances to do better but they aren't taking them.

Week 12 Vs Vikes - Pregame

2007-11-25T09:34:00.000-08:00

Pre-game predictions:

I'll go out on a limb here and say that Droughns might have a good day against the Vikings' #1 run defense. It could be that they're #1 because you can throw against them all day. If they give Reub 20-plus carries, he should be good. He's a pound-away type of guy, without the burst and flash that Jacobs gives you sometimes. You can get him down, but he'll get up and run again.
If I'm right about the above, then Eli puts up modest numbers again. If they keep winning, I don't really care, but there are a lot of people who want to see Eli justify his number one pick-ness. Me, I'll take wins.
Chester Taylor will rush for enough yards to justify people (um, me) starting him in fantasy formats. Adrian Peterson is having an MRI on Monday but ESPN quotes coach Brad Childress as saying that if it were a playoff game, Peterson would play. Good move, although if (when?) the Vikings lose today they aren't all that likely to make the playoffs. Even if they do make the postseason they aren't going anywhere, so why risk injury to a guy who looks like he could be one of the great RBs?

Almost game-time, be right back.

Why the Lions scare you

2007-11-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

Here's why the Lions scare you - they have nothing to lose. Sure, Kitna said that DET would win 10 games but nobody believed him. Yes, if they lost every game from here on out that would be a bit of a disappointment. But they've already done better than last year, and the team looks pretty good.
This "who gives a fuck" attitude is what brings about the plays like that almost-nailed-it hail mary at the end of the 1st half. If that play works, the Giants are very unhappy going into the locker room. As it is, it's a 7 point game.

Week 11 vs Lions - 2nd half

2007-11-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

Kept 'em to a field goal, which is good. The Lions are talking shots downfield though, and at some point one of those will work.
FUMBLE! AGAIN! The Lions are the league leader in takeaways but I don't care, you gotta hold onto the ball, guys.
And Kitna hits Williams for a 19 yard gain. Grrrr.
DET is running the ball well, too.
This Roy Williams is good. That was a nice play too - Williams didn't do anything, just stood there near the line with no Giants paying any attention to him. Kitna hits him, then he gets the 1st down and more.
The Giants are starting to play harder but the tackles aren't happening the way they should. On two different plays, a DET WR was 1/2 tackled but kept going when the NY defender didn't actually bring him down.
52 yard field goal fails, because it's tipped by Robinson. That, you like to see.
Oh shit, Jacobs is limping off the field. And Plax is clearly hurting. Is it the coach's fault when everyone seems to get injured so easily? Conditioning? Maybe.
WOW. Tynes makes a 46 yard field goal. Maybe he's not as bad as he looked at the beginning of the season.
Guys, I don't really want to discuss what's down Brandon Jacobs' pants. Looking at the replay it looks like he hit his knee, maybe.
"Jacobs will not return to the game today." Maybe they can sign Ricky Williams?
Watching this you can see how the Lions are second to only the Patriots in receiving yards.
INTERCEPTION! By the Giants. Finally. They were supposed to be doing that to Kitna all day.
Shaun Rogers is really big.
Aside: at the moment, Vinny Testaverde has more passing yards than Peyton Manning. That makes sense.
Scary stat: Eli has the same record as Peyton over the same number of games. Creepy.
Eli is playing fairly well.
Burress finally makes a nice catch. Dude has long arms.
You can see where this offense really loses a lot without Jacobs on the field. At the moment things are going well enough, it's 16-3 with 7 minutes to play.
Aside: If I'm watching from the sidelines, I don't really want to stand behind Tony Siragusa.
SHIT! TD, Calvin Johnson. This is what I was talking about, people. Cough. Call me.
Manning gets stuffed much too easily. FWIW, the DET defense does look good but the Giants should be able to stop them better than they have been.
OK I'm as critical of the Giants' penalties as anyone - maybe more than anyone - but that "intentional" attacking of Kitna's legs was a bullshit call.
That's what I'm talking about! James Butler snags the big INT. There you go! Live by the big play, die by the big play.
Something I've never understood is the idea of situational calling. "You can't make that call in that situation." Well, the call is the call, isn't it? Do you have rules or not?
This is the big stand by the Giants defense. Strahan needs to step up. He's actually having a good game, with three sacks so far.
Hey, a penalty on the Lions! Whoo-hoo!
How many receivers do the Lions have, fifteen? It's like there's someone open everywhere. They're going to make this interesting.
Sam Madison! Interception! That's it! Fuck yeah! Motor city meatheads! Mike Martz makes me mopey (if I'm a DET fan)!

Week 11 vs Lions - 1st half

2007-11-18T10:02:00.000-08:00

Here's your simple stat for the game today: The Lions are 6-3. So are the Giants. This is, indeed, Bizarro NFL.

That's quite a dramatic entrance the Lion make onto Ford Field. I don't know if I'm right about this but I think that the Chicago Bulls are responsible for all of these overblown dramatic entrances. "Yoooouuurrr ChiCAgo BULLLLSSS!!!!!"
Rod Marinelli tells his team: "You have earned the right to play a meaningful game in November." Sheesh.
I can't deal with this phrase: "The Lions are on [the Giants'] level." I just can't. I'm sorry.
With DeWayne White out, maybe Tony Siragusa can fill in.
This is actually a meaningful game, don't forget. I'm talking to Eli, not you.
The Lions had -18 rushing yards last week. Really. NEGATIVE EIGHTEEN. If NY can't stop them that's verrrry bad.
Ow. That looks like it hurt.
That's what I'm talking about. The Lions trying to run the ball and getting stuffed. Let's do it.
Maybe it's just me, but I think Mike Martz is nuts.
Um, or not. So the Lions are running the ball well. Oh shit, Kiwanuka is shaken up. Down. Is he getting up? That looks like it hurt. Oboy. He's not even putting weight on the ankle. It's been less than a minute and two guys are out, 1 Lion, 1 Giant.
That's it Strahan. Earn your money.
See that? Kitna waited until the clock was almost at zero, then he started the play. Before it got to zero. Not after.
NICE tackle to keep the Lions from getting a first down.
OK, NY is playing so-so. It's early but these teams look more evenly matched than I'd like.
The knock on Brandon Jacobs is that he's so big he'll spend a lot of time injured. Maybe. But man, when he's on, he's really good. A Lion tackler just ran into him and literally bounced off. It was like a VW Bug hitting a Hummer.
Some good plays, some not so good plays. At least Tynes hit the FG.
4th and 19. Let's see a lot of that today.
Well, there's a penalty. I knew it was too good to last.
Coughlin's starting to pout... arms will flap soon...
Hey, that was a nice little pass Eli made to Sinorice Moss. Lots of people think the Giants need to open up the field and use the 3rd receiver more often, maybe they will.
Another catch by Moss, but... SHIT! He fumbles. I guess it was a "strip" but it was also a "drop."
OK, we got it back quickly. I would've liked the Giants to score some big points here, get some confidence back.
They seem to be moving a little more quickly than they were last week, although you really need to just get the hell onto the field when the time comes.
Good run and slide by Eli to get the 1st.
Strong plus for the day so far: Eli hitting different receivers (7 so far).
Whether or not Jacobs ends up a great RB, he definitely is a guy who plays hard and with some heart. He's stopped, but he doesn't give up, he tries again and at least gets a yard.
I don't like these flips to Jacobs but they seem to be working so I won't complain. Well, I will when they don't work.
Chris Snee with the false start! Questionable call but they made it.
Shockey has... nothing. Shit. He was close but he got stopped. Without the penalty they would've been fine.
Here's the Lions offense for you: when it works, its amazing. They make it look like the other team isn't even playing. But it doesn't always work, and when it doesn't, they look like a high school team.
Wait, what? He was tackled, right? McDonald? You know what, I don't think his knee hit the ground. Cough is challenging but I don't think it'll work. FINISH THE TACKLE AND THIS IS NOT AN ISSUE.
Oh wow, Coughlin won the challenge. That's a nice surprise. I'll take it but I don't think he was right.
Marinelli's pissed and I don't blame him. Hopefully this won't energize the team and get them mad enough to start playing better.
You don't need to be a lip reader to know what Roddy M is saying.
I hope Plax isn't losing a step. He clearly is, though. Fox guys say he's not getting to his spots, which seems to be true.
HOWEVER, if S. Moss and the Shockster can step up, we'll be OK.
That pass was Eli's fault. Too short. Plax got back to it but it wasn't worth much.
Not much time guys...
Toomer gets out of bounds to stop the clock. 33 secs left, 3 & 1, DET 13 yard line.
QB sneak to get the first down, then a quick time out. Three seconds total. OK, that's good.
Nice jump by Jacobs to get the TD! Love it. That was on a little toss to him. The one I don't like. Well, fuck it, I'm not the coach.
End of the first half. Looked bad for awhile there but it ended well.

The Giants Owe MLB and the Knicks A Nice Chanukah Gift

2007-11-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm watching ESPN do their Kent Brockman impression ("The Lincoln Squirrel has been shot! We'll stay with this story all night if we have to.") with their coverage of the Barry Bonds indictment and A-Rod's signing with the Yankees. And I'm thinking that the Giants really need to send a nice fruit basket to Bud Selig, Scott Boras, and the rest of the nitwits in Major League Baseball. And let's not forget the Isiah and Stephon show. Why should they do this? Well, after Sunday's embarrassing loss to Dallas, which basically ensured that the team will not win their division and will be playing for a wild card spot, Eli Manning had this to say:

Q: How do you handle the criticism? Six weeks you don’t hear many negative comments, and then yesterday, everybody says you are to blame. How does that affect you as a person? Or do you try not to listen to it?

A: I don’t listen to it. I’m not the one to blame for a loss. You are going to lose games, that’s part of football. It’s just about learning from the mistakes, seeing what you are doing well and going into the next week with a good attitude that you if you win that one, you are back in a good spot and everything will be fine again.

As well-adjusted as that statement is psychologically, it's really not what you want to hear from your franchise quarterback, especially not one that you gave up so much for. Should he commit hari-kiri in front of the press corps? No, but how do you have multiple delay of game penalties and then say "it's not my fault"?

To be fair, he did say, "I have to do a better job getting to the line of scrimmage, getting everything called quicker and getting the ball snapped." And these stupid penalties have been a hallmark of the Coughlin Discpline Era.

As for Tommy C, he's "more than perplexed" about the delay of game calls. He doesn't know what happened. Well, that's encouraging.

Back to the original point. All of this other stuff gives sports radio hosts, columnists and fans something else to focus on other than the ludicrously bad play of the New York Football Giants last week. The fact that the team has consistently fallen apart in the second half of the season for the past three years (8-16, all under Coughlin).

So get those wish lists ready Bud, Bonds, Boras and the rest. You may be getting a little something from Eli this holiday season!

Week 10 vs Cowboys - 2nd half

2007-11-11T14:55:00.000-08:00

And the 2nd half starts with a blow to the face from the Cowboys. Wow. I guess they watched film of the Week 1 game and decided to emulate the Giants.
Apparently the Cowboys said they were going to double cover Shockey on every play. NOT WORKING!
Before NY tied it up with the FG, the update was going to be "The Giants need a big play to get the lead back." But that's still what they need.
OK, Tony Romo looks too damn happy. Somebody smack him in that dopey smile of his.
Aside: it'll kill fantasy players but most teams are going to be going with a 2 or even a 3 back system. It works. I don't know why but it seems to work. You need two backs that are good, of course.
Crayton again? Dammit.
Still tied. On the surface these teams aren't really that evenly matched but in reality they are. DAL has the edge on receivers, NYG has the edge on defense, running game is a draw (maybe a little edge to DAL). QB you'd say Romo but Eli's good too.
OK, so they got Witten's number today but Crayton is having a field day. What the hell?
FUCK! Really great pass from Romo to Owens. Sam Madison blows the coverage. That's the big play that the Giants haven't made today.
Whoah. That was some return by Bradshaw for the Giants. But it's coming back - holding on the Giants. A backup Tight End. Why? Why? Why?
Shockey is having an incredible day. 11 catches so far. He still falls down whenever he catches the ball but if he catches it this much it's not that big a deal.
Not a Toomer? Oh, but it is a Toomer. 23 yard catch right over the middle.
OK, this is a nice drive so far.
Droughns gets the first down. He's kind of a poor man's Jerome Bettis.
Weird pass to Toomer doesn't quite make it in.
Jacobs pounds it in... but there's a holding penalty and it gets called back.
Delay of game? DELAY OF GAME????? Eli's been cutting it way too close all game. Now they're back at the 16 yard line.
Please don't let this be the beginning of the Giants Second Half of the Season Meltdown.
A nice drive ends in a pile of penalties and a FG instead of a TD. Tom Coughlin looks like he's about to start flapping his arms again. Don't do it Tom! Keep it together! Remember, the "we're not thinking" penalties are YOUR fault, not theirs.
Romo moves away from Kiwanuka and manages to get a pass off, which falls incomplete. Still, it's not a sack and he didn't fall apart under pressure.
I think it's safe to say that these two teams dislike each other quite a bit.
Hands to the face, NY. Look at that. So sloppy. No reason to put your hands there, man.
Well, they have shut down Barber. And Witten. It's the rest of the team they need to start worrying about.
Spoke too soon. There goes Barber who makes NY miss. Barber leads the league in breaking tackles (according to Aikman) and you can see why. The guy looks like he's solid muscle top to bottom.
HUGE touchdown to TO. Well, that's not good.
Now it looks more like the Giants team from Week 1. Confusion, blown coverages, bad plays, awful penalties. One more penalty and Coughlin might flap his arms so hard he flies away.
Tank Johnson with a sack. Isn't he supposed to be in jail?
Three and out. Need a big defensive play. They'd better have it in them or this game is ov-ah.
The penalties are not only unforgivably bad, they seem to demoralize the team in a really bad way. This, again, is Coughlin's fault. Even Joe Schmuck is pointing out that under Coughlin's "discipline" approach, NY has been the most penalized team in the league.
They are stopping Braber for the most part. But TO has 124 yards and 2 TDs.
Lots of jawing between the two teams. Most of it doesn't result in penalties but the Giants could use a few more Dallas screw ups to get them the ball back with a short field.
Aside: The Bengals win today but they definitely get the vote for most disappointing team. Their shot was a couple of years ago when Palmer got his knee blown out in the playoffs. Who knows what would've happened but I think they beat Pittsburgh then go on to win it all.
False start? Dallas? Come on, ref, talk to me...Whoo-hoo! 5 yards, 1st down. We'll take it.
Now Shockey's not making those catches. Oh wait, yes he is. First down. OK, I'll start mocking him again, it seems to help him play better. HEY! J-SCHMO! YOU BANGED TARA REID! SCHMENDRICK!
Some anonymous white guy gets his first catch of the year, and Jacobs pounds his way to a first down. The guy plays hard.
ANOTHER delay of game? Coughlin looks like he doesn't understand. I mean, it's Eli's fault but somehow I still blame Coughlin.
Fourth and 4 and an incomplete pass. That's it. The delay of game penalty did them in. That's really pathetic. It's not so late in the game that Dallas can run out the clock but it's close. Now they try to hold the game with time outs.
It was all going so well. Aikman hits it right on the head - how will the team come off of this loss? I have no idea what Coughlin is like in the locker room but he doesn't appear to know the right things to say to get the Giants to push this kind of stuff off, get past it and win the next game.
T.O. is a great receiver, but if you watch him shouting after big plays (or small plays), I really think he might be mentally ill.
Joe Schmuck is blaming it all on Eli but he seems to be forgetting the rest of the team. Yes, Eli screwed up more than once, and fell apart in the second half. But so did everybody else. And ultimately, the fish stinks from the head - Coughlin, Coughlin, Coughlin.

Week 10 vs Cowboys - 1st half

2007-11-11T13:20:00.000-08:00

Heere we go.
Julius Jones busts out a big run. I knew I should've started him in my fantasy league, since then he wouldn't have had a carry all game.
Aside: does Tony Kornheiser think it's interesting when he talks about his fantasy team incessantly, or does ESPN tell him to do that? Yes, I mention my team, but I'm not on national television.
OK, guys? I know it's fun to pretend it's still Week 1, when you sucked. But, like, it's not, remember? You're good now. Get it together.
Touchdown? Tony Curtis?

OK, not that Tony Curtis. Not a good start, Spaggie.
Oh good! Pam Oliver's here. She'll yell at the Giants D and get them to play better.
Burress might be the least heralded really good receiver in the league. Unless there's someone even less heralded, so unheralded I don't even know their name.
Shockey! Catch! 4 yards! OH yeah! That's right! He's elite! E-L-E-E-T-E! Elite!
What the heck was that toss to Jacobs? He lost two yards.
Why is Tom Coughlin yelling at the coaches?
I don't watch enough other teams regularly to know if the play clock almost expiring happens to teams other than the Giants, but it seems to happen to NY a lot.
Two penalties in a row give the Jints a first down, apparently due to Eli's "voice inflection". Then a shove to Jacobs after the play for a few more yards. Joe Schmuck says it was "acting" by Jacobs, but it didn't look like it to me. If it was, that's kinda lame, but also sort of gamesmanshippy (I made up a word!).
It seems like the game plan is "give the ball to BJ". Hopefully we'll see some Plaxico too, although he practiced this week, which could be a problem.
Touchdown! Shockey! Now! He'll! Celebrate! For! A! Week! And! A! Half! Great throw, and a good catch too.
Tynes... MAKES THE EXTRA POINT! OMG!
There we go. Stopping Romo. Good work.
Joe Schmuck tells a story about a NY player who was "star struck" when these two teams played in Week 1. Sometimes you don't talk to the media, especially if that's the story you plan on telling them.
Oh right, Tank Johnson is on Dallas now. This was the game he supposedly joined for.
I gotta agree with Troy, that was a nice pass. Shockey does his usual fall-on-the-ball catch.
Aside: yay! The Dolphins are still winless! Boo, the Rams won.
Oh fuck, INT by Eli. I don't think he got hit, which is what Joe Schmuck said. I love it when commentators make excuses for QBs they like (and when I say "I love it" I mean it's really fucking annoying.) Brett Favre gets this the most, although this season he's actually playing well so it doesn't matter. And with Joe Thiesman gone, there's less of that sort of thing going on.
Personal foul call on the Giants, but a bad one. The guy was running! I want to protect the players too but come ON.
Pretty balanced game so far. Hopefully Eli's INT doesn't blow it early.
What did I say before? Barber's a good player.
DOWN goes Romo. OH yes. Would've preferred a forced fumble but at least they stopped 'em.
Aside: could the friggin' Cardinals score so I could
Aside: Hey, what's that guy from Heroes doing on a McDonald's commercial?
Shockey's having a good game. Clearly mocking him on this blog is useful.
Eli's getting smacked around. That's the "great offensive line" that Aikman was talking about before, right?
And... Interception! Romo! Boo-yah! (What an obnoxious term.)
See? Plax only has 20 yards. Shouldn't have practiced.
Jacobs is good. Not flashy like Tiki but good.
Aside: here's why fantasy football is great (and also painful). I'm watching this game, and also thinking "Dammit, why hasn't Ronald Curry caught a pass yet?" If I were only a Giants' fan, I wouldn't even know who Curry was.
Giants only have one penalty for 15 yards. Nice.
Jacobs is tough. Pounded through for a first down. You need a guy like that.
OK, Aikman's right, that was a nice block by Shockey. Blocking is one of those incredibly important things that's hard to show since there aren't stats.
Speaking of stats, nobody has particularly good ones so far (Shockey is having a good game). But the game is close.
Burress with a nice block. More impressive when he does it since he's not a moose like Shockey.
2nd and goal. Score. Score. Score.
ALMOST a TD pass to Shockey. He's stopped but it's a nice catch, and a really nice pas from Eli who seems to be in sync with Shockster today.
Reuben Droughs... Touchdown! It's funny, he's not Jerome Bettis or anything but he's a decent short yardage fill-in type back.
Aside: I don't like that song on the iPod Touch commercial.
Aside: Jessica Alba can't act but man, is she hot.
Aside: K-Ville looks like a good show. Not that I'll watch it but it does look pretty good. Somebody watch it and tell me if it's any good, OK?
See, there's a good illustration of the difference between Marion Barber and Julius Jones. Jones can't pound through a pile of defenders the way Barber can. He's just not big enough or fast enough. Barber has this extra oomph that's hard to quantify, it results in big plays sometimes.
Ha ha. TO dropped a pass. Jerk off.
Another stop. Sweeeet.
Heard something interesting about RW McQuarters on the radio this week. A caller said "why is he still the return guy, he stinks, the Jets have 3 TDs from kick returns, I'm an asshole and I know everything, blah blah blah." The host's response was that Coughlin's main concern is no fumbles, and unless you have a guy who you know is fast enough to
Well, that sucked. A score there, even a field goal, would've put a nice lead on the board. Now they give it back to Romo and company. They have been stopping them, though.
On another player, that tackle of T.O. might have drawn a penalty. On him, you probably have to pull a knife to get the ref to call it.
Whoah, that was some ending to the first half. DAL goes ahead on a Crayton TD (again - if I'd started him, he would've been hurt on the first play), then a huge penalty and a great Shockey catch (he's 8/86 with a TD today) sets up a FG by Tynes. On a less good note, Tynes was slow to get on the field for his kick so the team had to call the last time out. Like I said earlier, do other teams have these problems? Tie game.

Former FATriots Coaches

2007-11-11T12:46:00.001-08:00

Why are so many of Bill Belichek's former coaches so fat?

Admittedly, lots of NFL coaches are on the chubby side. Still, these three guys probably couldn't ride an elevator together.

What NYG needs to do today

2007-11-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

(photo from here)
Pretty much everyone with a microphone was saying that the Giants newly awesome defense needs to destroy Tony Romo in order to win. We say: stop Marion Barber and Jason Witten. Back in Week 1, Witten had a field day with the Giants, going for over 100 yards and a TD. And it's not like they were stopping T.O., who scored twice on 3 receptions (for 87 yards). Witten is a good player but he's not Shannon Sharpe; if you recall, he was open all freakin' day. Barber's stat line wasn't amazing (11/65 with 1 TD) but he's the guy they give the ball to when they want to pound the line. He's also started to emerge as the #1 RB in Dallas despite being the technical #2 behind Julius "maybe his brother Thomas is better" Jones. The Cowboys are a good team, even if Romo does get too much credit for such a young QB. (And not nearly enough flack for claiming to not have banged Carrie Underwood - look at those pics, he could've gotten her easily.) The Giants can definitely win the game as long they don't fall into yet another second half slump - the last few seasons have ended very badly. I don't think this team is as bad as previous years. It may not be a Super Bowl caliber group but it's more balanced and less kvetchy (I'm looking at you Tiki). Coughlin is the real wild card as far as I'm concerned. If he starts up again with the arm flapping and the weird decisions, that's going to be a problem. Eli is the other potential issue. He's been less inconsistent this season - not exactly a game manager but not a "gun slinger" either. Everyone wanted him to be his big brother, and I think this year he finally realized that he's not. Or he just stopped listening. Or he just got better. You won't ever know but he's not exactly chatty. I think that's a good thing, and if the season ends on a high note, it'll be easy to say I was right. If not, what the hell do I know?

Predictions

2007-11-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

Back before the season started I made the following predictions:

Sep 9 @Dallas- Dal - RIGHT
Sep 16 Green Bay- NYG - WRONG
Sep 23 @Washington- NYG - RIGHT
Sep 30 Philadelphia- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 7 N.Y. Jets- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 15 @Atlanta- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 21 San Francisco- SF - WRONG (not sure what I was thinking here)
Oct 28 @Miami (London)- NYG - RIGHT
Week 9 BYE
Nov 11 Dallas- NYG
Nov 18 @Detroit- NYG
Nov 25 Minnesota- NYG
Dec 2 @Chicago- Chi
Dec 9 @Philadelphia- Phil
Dec 16 Washington- NYG
Dec 23 @Buffalo- Buf
Dec 29 New England- NYG

So far I'm 6-2. Not too shabby.

Here are adjustments for the rest of the season based on, you know, reality:

Nov 11 Dallas- NYG: I'll be the homer and go NY here although I think it's going to be tough. Some Romo stats: He started huge in Week 1 against NYG, with 345 yards passing, 4 TDs vs. 1 INT (plus a rushing TD), and a QB rating of 128.5. With the exception of Week 4 against the Rams (which shouldn't count, but it does, I guess), his weekly TD totals went down every single week, ending with 1 TD pass in Week 7 against the Vikings. Last week again Philly (which also probably shouldn't count) he threw for 324 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT in a brutal pounding of the Eagles. So let's say the pattern continues and he falls a bit, throwing for maybe 290 yards and 2 TDs. Our boy Eli hasn't been fantastic but he's not losing games either. In the Week 1 loss against Dallas he threw for 312 yards, 4 TDs and one INT for a rating of 113.1. Week 2 he sucked against Green Bay, completing only 55% of his passes. After that, the team has won every game, largely due to the defense but also because he didn't make a lot of panicky, game-losing plays (for an example, see big bro Peyton's fumble at the end of the New England game last week). So I'll play homer (d'oh!) and give it to Big Blue for Week 10. But don't bet your mortgage on it.

Nov 18 @Detroit- DET: I'm going to go with the trap game theory (again) and say that it'll be hard for the Jints' defense to stop the Kitna and Martz show.

Nov 25 Minnesota- NYG: unless the Vikings bring out the dildos to distract Michael Strahan, this shouldn't be a problem.

Dec 2 @Chicago- NYG: Chicago is so bad right now. Can't see NY blowing this one.

Dec 9 @Philadelphia- NYG: see above. Feel bad for McNabb, but he doesn't look too good. By December the Philly fans will probably be giving him Reggie Jackson treatment (that is, throwing bottles at his head from the stands.)

Dec 16 Washington- NYG: The Redskins aren't great but they have some talent, especially the quarterback, who isn't a big numbers guy but definitely has the potential to make a play that changes the game. Still, as long as NY sticks with what they've been doing and Coughlin doesn't make any stupid calls (a big if) they should take it.

Dec 23 @Buffalo- NYG: Let's assume NY wants this game and the Bills are in a rut after squeaking out a few wins.

Dec 29 New England- NE: How great would it be if NY was the first loss for the Patriots? If they're still playing for the 16-0 season, I'd have to give it to the Pats. The team just looks too damn good (jerks). If not, and NE is resting players, I'll go NY.

BDRadio 11-5-07

2007-11-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

Because you haven't heard anything about the Colts/Pats game until you've heard what we think.
Click here to listen in.

Hating the Cowboys, sort of

2007-11-06T14:58:00.001-08:00

Dallas is one of those teams that people in New York have always despised. Some of it is that they were good (see above.) Mostly it was this whole "God's team" nonsense. Other than the cheerleaders (who are still hot but, you know, whatever), who were a big deal once upon a time, the organization was the subject of much East Coast vitriol. Now? Still are, but not as much.
Part of the reason is Tony Romo. While his "aw shucks" thing is getting a little old, and the fact that he was hanging with Carrie Underwood and didn't do much of anything with her makes some people wonder about him, he just doesn't inspire the hatred that previous players have.
Why not?
- He came out of nowhere: this always helps. This isn't Ryan Leaf, a highly touted QB who was a major bust (not to mention a bit of a dick.) I remember when nobody thought for a second that Bill Parcells would ever dump Drew Bledsoe for Romo in midhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif-season.
- He replaced Drew Bledsoe: Bledsoe really seems like a jerk. Whether he's yelling at Keyshawn Johnson on the sidelines or just plain old whining about something, he was never particularly likable. Granted, he never had the career he thought he would have, but then again, who among us has? Shut up and play.
- That whole "aw shucks" thing: Let's be honest. We want our athletes to be people. We hate A-Rod (well, I do) partly because of his crappy post-season performance, partly because of the naked pictures of him in the New York tabloids, but mostly we hate him because of the tightly controlled image he tries so hard to project and protect. Romo seems to be having the time of his life, the way we imagine we would if we had enough athletic ability to play professional sports. Even when he played horribly in a game earlier this year, he handled it well.
So can we still hate the Cowboys? Oh, no doubt. It's just more difficult to hate the QB.

Stairway to Clemens

2007-11-05T06:47:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for YouTube. Otherwise I might actually get some work done.

BDRadio 10-31-07

2007-10-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

The Patriots, Kickers, and NFL announcers are a bunch of sheep.
Click here to listen in.

Jonathan Wiener makes the call

2007-10-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

A student announcer at Trinity is having his fifteen minutes of fame (I predict a job offer from ESPN or at least a local station) after his call of a wacky play. The 'broadcast' was only heard online, but it was a good one and it got picked up by a lot of outlets, including the New York Times.

Ah, Division III football. Just like watching the Jets.

Let Me Be The First To Say - Why?

2007-10-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

From Fanball.com: October 30, 2007 10:17 AM ET
Giants: Tynes keeping his job
	The News Giants head coach Tom Coughlin continues to stand by kicker Lawrence Tynes. "Lawrence has been our kicker for the first eight games of the season – we are 6-2," Coughlin tells the team's official web site. "We had some disappointments. But we're sticking with him." Tynes has missed three field goals and two extra points this season.
	Our View With the Giants on the bye, now would be the ideal time to kick Tynes to the curb. It sounds like Larry will still be around come Week 10, though.

Week 8 vs Fins - 2nd half

2007-10-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

3 and out for the Jints. Commentators are right, bad play calling. Where's the running game? I know I said they couldn't run the ball on these guys earlier but that was before THE IMMORTAL REUBEN DROUGHNS entered the game. Anyway, they have a lead now, control the clock, yadda yadda yadda. Where's Coughlin's number, I need to call that guy.
It's both admirable and a little pathetic that the Dolphins are putting out such a good effort. Good effort. Not much in the way of results. But good effort.
Chatman's good. Play got called back by a penalty but he's doing a nice job.
Now the wheels are really coming off. This is what the game was supposed to be like. All Giants, all the way. Doesn't make for an exciting game but as long as they win handily, that's OK.
Goodell is blathering about this UK game. I don't mind him, actually, but this is just a stupid thing, going to London during the regular season.
He's saying that they want people to "understand the fundamentals" of the game. But I'm a perfect example of how that's completely unnecessary. You know how I got into football? Fantasy. That's right, fake, bullshit football.
Osi is a good example of this. But, you know what? He didn't spend all that much time in London. But hey, you know, great example guys.
Oh! That was an embarrassing drop by Wilson (Giants D). Let's call it a "circus drop".
Strahan has a towel over his head. Make up your own joke.
Comment by the commentators that NY hasn't been able to "put the game away". 'Tis true. Coughlin, or maybe its the O coordinator, doesn't do a great job with the play calling. Weird choices sometimes.
Ugh. Really good spin and run from Chatman. At least the D stopped him but somebody needs to tell Cough & Co. that it's only 13-0, not 24-0. And that the Giants are good but they're not the Patriots.
Dumb penalty on Coffield. It's happening again. Oh God... It's happening again... the penalties... that great Coughlin discipline... it's all bullshit... STOP THEM!!!
So all of a sudden, they're on the 2. THE TWO. Feh.
There we go. Lemon gets sacked. We like that. Knock 'em back a bit.
STOP. No touchdown for you. Niiiice. Still should've pinned them back further upfield, but what the hell, let's see if Feely can make the FG this time.
He can. There goes the shutout.
Let's not forget - this is a ten point game. It's not over.
OK, here's the deal. Touchdowns. Not field goals. Especially not when you have "OMG HE MISSED ANOTHER ONE" Tynes. A 29 yarder? I don't care how muddy the "pitch" is, you gotta make those. Yeah, good thing you let Feely go.
If games were won and lost by who played harder and who wanted it more, Miami would've taken this one 28-7. NY just isn't playing hard down the stretch. Let us take this as a reminder: Coughlin is doing better but he's not that good.
WHOAH. Nice catch by Ted Ginn Jr., nice throw by Cleo Lemon. 13-10. Fuck.
Feely gives it back with a "hydroplaning" (Fox guys' word) onside kick.
People are pissed about the knee-taking. Interesting to see that. They're right, in the abstract. When I started watching football, the knee would annoy me.
So Giants win, but they tried really hard to lose. Bye week next week, and the team has a much better record than anyone thought they would. Cheerio.

Week 8 vs Fins - notes

2007-10-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to listen to the announcers flog this UK thing as if anyone cares. "It's like a playoff game, or the Superbowl" - um, no. No, it's not. Right before they said that, as the camera panned across the players' faces, I thought, "They look tired." I guess it isn't that much further than California but it feels further. And 50% of football is 60% mental. Or something like that.
Osi, a native Londoner (something nobody cared about until last week), looked like he was trying to sing along with 'God Save The Queen.' It sounded to me like the crowd booed at the beginning of the song, but maybe I was wrong or it was for the singer. It also didn't sound like they were singing the same words, but again, what the hell do I know? Those people have make a mockery of American English.
With Ronnie Brown out, it's not clear that the Dolphins can do much here. That said, Cleon Lemon (what a name!) played well last week and managed to score 28 points against the Patriots, who are a teensy bit better than this Giants team. So maybe something can happen.
Apparently Jesse Chatman "ate his way out of football." I thought that was LenDale White's problem.
Why are the Dolphins marching down the field? Well, not marching exactly... actually, it is kind of like marching. Slow, methodical, but effective.
According to Mike Francesca on WFAN you had to dig 15 pages deep into the London newspapers to find any coverage of this game. Kenny Mayne had a rare funny piece on ESPN this morning where he spoke to the locals and they generally looked like he didn't give a crap.
Um, hello? Defense? Worst team in the league here? Stop them? Please?
Nice run by Lemon, and a couple of nice blocks from Chatman, leading to a first down.
Chatman was the big pickup in fantasy football this week. Anyone who had Ronnie Brown on their team is wicked pissed since the guy (Brown) had been putting up incredible numbers.
Oooo, Jay Feely tries a 48 yard field goal. He hasn't missed one all year, and... now he has. Ha ha. I still think the Giants should've kept him.
What kind of song choice is "Dance Hall Days" by Wang Chung?
Manning to Burress. Practice? Fuck practice. I'm just gonna catch the ball. I know how to catch the ball. Eli knows how to throw the ball. So fuck practice.
They are not running the ball well here. Be interesting to see if that continues. I like Jacobs but he hasn't been a world beater.
Burress drops a catch that looks a lot like one that Randy Moss caught last week. Except that Moss caught it between two defenders, as opposed to
One of the Dolphins gets a little too into this whole London thing and seems to be trying to "bugger" Brandon Jacobs. What does he think this is, baseball?
OK, let's see if he they can convert on first and goal here. The "he" was a slip; I'm thinking I meant Jacobs or Eli.
Eli throws it over Toomer's head, but at least he seems to know it. Coughlin looks like he got punched in the gut.
Tynes... makes the field goal!
Priest Holmes was originally a backup. Interesting.
Fight! Fight! Now the crowd gets into it.
Fumble? What happened? OK, short snap to Marty Booker, attempting a QB sneak, and they muff it. Shocking. Truly, truly shocking.
Lots of almost pass interference going on here.
The crowd really looks like they'd be somewhere else if they had anything better to do.
The 'fins really are stopping NY here, especially Jacobs. Not good. They should still win the game but good teams beat the crap out of bad teams.
Careless penalty on the kickoff.
Hey, the Brits can do the wave! Very exciting.
By moving this game to London, I actually think that the league made it feel less important somehow. Maybe its because it feels so forced. Certainly no one in this country, you know, the one where the league makes a dumptruck full of money every single week,
"You gotta see the excitement around this giant Jason Taylor!" It shows something that they have a giant thing in London, and it's not one of the Giants. Discuss.
It seems early to bring Droughns in but maybe they think the 'fins have Jacobs' number today. And at least this time, it works, Reuben gets the first down.
The three RB system is going to become popular, you watch. This will really fuck with fantasy football players.
Shit, look at that slide. It's like baseball. This field is so muddy.
Eli, where the hell are you throwing? Trying to reach the airport?
That's sort of interesting, they're swapping out the spikes on a pair of cleats. That's easier than changing shoes, I suppose.
"The Yellow Line is Not Official." Thank you, Fox.
While we're measuring, let's just say that Fox starting the World Series games at almost 9pm (yeah, officially 8pm but with the pre-game bullshit it's 8:45pm) makes it so that only those who don't have anything to do in the morning can watch the whole game. Not a good demographic, guys. (I know, West Coast, but they don't count.)
Hey, the crowd knows that that's not a first down. OK.
Hey now! Droughns punches out a first on 4th and inches. Good sign. The score wouldn't indicate that as being the right move, but it's good to take a chance every now and then.
Nice little spin by Droughns. He seems like a guy who should've had a better career, maybe this is his chance.
~~Snow~~ Rain. Hard ~~snow~~ rain. Oh wait, no it's not. What was that? OK, I guess there's a roof. Thom Brennaman has to work his way up to boring.
Tony Siragusa needs to talk to Mike Golic about Nutrisystem.
OK, Burress made that catch, which he did. Good use of replay.
Come on, guys, put this game away before halftime.
Eli! Runs! It! In! For! A! T! D! Whoo! Hoo!
What's Chatman doing? He was down. But was he touched? He was definitely down, in the literal sense. What's going on here? Everyone seems to be a little confused today. Jet lag, probably.
Chatman is pretty good, I think. Nice little juggle (the term "circus catch" I don't like) and he gets a first down. The Giants are supposed to have this amazing defense, but they can't seem to stop this guy. Still, it's 10-0. No wait, 13-0. Tynes is 100% today, Feely missed his one shot. Go figure.
Halftime. Go getcher fish 'n' chips.

LT LT LT

2007-10-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching Countdown on ESPN. They do this dopey thing on "Fear" with Stephen King. It's Halloween, the network is much more Entertainment than it is Sports these days, whatever. They show a bunch of players. Lawrence Taylor is featured prominently, one of only two non-current NFL players. Despite his obvious greatness, for some reason I think that he doesn't get the respect that he deserves. The guy is the reason that sacks are a stat. BEFORE HIM, THEY DIDN'T TRACK SACKS. Think about that. So what's the problem?

It's the crack. Well, that's one reason, sure. But Ray Lewis was convicted of contributing to a murder and we love him (I don't, but the TV guys keep pushing him out there). So that alone isn't it.
It's the East Coast bias. Well, Baltimore is on the East Coast, right? See above.
He played too long ago. This seems like the most likely reason. We have no memory these days and Taylor played prior to the intense media saturation we currently "enjoy".

I'll keep thinking about it. Leave any of your own thoughts in the comments.

Lies, damn lies, and stastistics; Tiki Barber, evil genius?

2007-10-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

Check these out:

(Source: NFL.com)

Not bad, right? When the season started, pretty much everyone with a microphone (or a blog for a major newspaper) was burying the Giants. Plax was a pain in the ass, Eli wasn't good, Coughlin should've been fired, Tiki was gone... The latter was the big one. Tiki Tiki Tiki. Outside of Hawaii, has that word ever been given so much importance? There's a legitimate argument to be made that the team is better now than they were with Barber. He was so incredibly self-absorbed; on a team with a pile of head cases, he didn't do much to help the situation, especially in his final season. Even announcing his retirement the way he did was selfish, since it shifted the focus entirely onto him.

But what if Tiki's an evil genius? What if he, by calling out Eli on national television in a direct and pretty irritating way, he was hoping to get the team fired up? Personally, I doubt it. But it does seem to have helped.

One of the other differences between this year and last year is Coughlin. On Newsday's Giants' blog, Arthur Staple quotes Jay Feely, who had a lot to say about his former team. Frankly, the fact that Jerry Reese thought his desire for a 3 year/$2 million guaranteed contract was too much seems pretty foolish now, considering the fact that Lawrence Tynes has had trouble kicking extra points. Extra points! All you do is kick and you miss extra points? The occasional field goal, OK, but seriously, dude. Come on. Maybe it's all the pressure he feels as the NFL's lone Scotsman. (There may be other Scottish folk in the NFL but I'm too lazy to look. Sorry.)

Back to Feely and the Coughmeister. Jay say:

Whether he thought TC could change: "No, I didn’t. But if you remember at the end of last year, when we talked, you guys asked me what I thought our problem was on our team and why we struggled the last half of the season and in the playoffs and I said I thought as a locker room and as leaders on our team, we talked too much and criticized Coach Coughlin too much and that a head coach needs unquestioned support at least publicly because, otherwise, you undermine his ability to lead. If you have a veteran question the head coach publicly, then those young guys are going to do that and they’re not going to listen to him the way they need to. I said we needed that and then that Coach Coughlin could probably create a more friendly environment where players wanted to play for him more and I think that’s exactly what happened. You’ve had Coach Coughlin, he took them out bowling and did little things like that to try and relate to them on a (personal) level rather than just on a football level. He knows so much about football. There have been many coaches that have coached with him that are now at other places that have told me that he knows way more than their current coach does about football. That says a lot about his knowledge of football. but I think now that he’s trying to relate on a relational level with players now, he gets a different level of commitment from those guys."

OK, that's too much to read. In a nutshell: Coughlin mellowed out and stopped acting like your crazy uncle that everyone tolerates, but deep down, they all really wish somebody would smack some sense into him. Maybe it was the threat of being fired, maybe he mellowed in his old age, or maybe the idea of going out (he's no kid) on such a down note made him realize that perhaps it was time to take stock. Whatever. The team is playing better, that's all that matters.

Giants 3rd Best Team in the NFL?

2007-10-24T14:42:00.001-07:00

Who knew? According to Stink & Co. on NFL Live, the New York Football Giants (isn't that phrase annoying?) are in elite company:

Kind of amazing, right? But look at the other teams out there. The Redskins are certainly better, but they're not quite good enough yet. The Cowboys are certainly good but the last couple of weeks have shown them to have weaknesses. Who else? The Rams? The Raiders? The Eagles? The Bears? Lots of parody, sorry, parity, in the league this year, and the Giants are playing better than those teams. But as Mike Francesa reminded us today on WFAN, the team needs to not get too full of themselves or they'll fall hard. Traveling to London, playing a team that hasn't won a game and is playing for pride - if Eli et al don't show up and play hard they'll regret it.

R-R-R-Rob Bironas

2007-10-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Greatest kicker ever! (At the moment, anyway.) Who knew? *I* knew. I came up with "R-R-R Rob Bironas" during my fantasy football draft. There are witnesses! So NFL.com, you owe me. (A phrase you may not hear again anytime soon - Rob Bironas Highlights.)

Week 7? What Week 7?

2007-10-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was traveling and therefore missed the game on Sunday. At least they won. Losing to the Dolphins right now would be almost as embarrassing as playing for the New York Jets. Almost.
Some news and things, will update later.

3 Headed Running Back Nicknames

2007-10-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

As we said last night, Jacobs, Droughns and Ward need a nickname. So let's start:

Manny, Moe and Jack?
Moe, Larry and Curly?
Kukla, Fran and Ollie?
Cerberus?
The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars?

Sadly, the last one here is probably the best. Anyone else? Need a little help here. Leave something in the comments.

Week 6 vs ATL - 2nd half

2007-10-15T19:33:00.002-07:00

Little break there. They don't pay me enough to work straight through, sorry.
Not a good drive by Eli. I don't know. I wonder if that late INT messed with his head a bit.
"Joey's our guy, he's going to come on and get us a quick touchdown." Wow. The power of positive thinking.
Is there anyone on the planet luckier than Jimmy Kimmel? In terms of talent -> success ratio. He doesn't suck, and he seems like a nice enough guy. He's actually funnier when he sits in on the Howard Stern show. And I have to give him some credit for flying back and forth between L.A. and New York for a week, filling in for Regis in the morning and then doing his show at night. That's incredibly weird. "I like to be on television as much as possible...I'm going to be co-hosting The View, then maybe I'll be on a soap." Seriously though, he's gonna be tired. I'm tired now and I don't have to fly anywhere.
Four guys in the booth - doesn't work.
You gotta catch those balls, Giants defense.
Roddy White. RODDY WHITE??? At least they didn't let him go all the way.
Again, I know it's a stupid thing, but the way receivers stay in bounds
"You know, Eli Manning has a brother in the NFL." I like that. "I once saw him on a commercial." You know what? Put him in the booth with Kornholio and Kompany and you realize that he's a comedian, and those guys are sports dudes trying to be funny.
"Warrick Dunn carries for less than a half yard..." And yet, this team isn't in the no-wins-yet club.
Another sack. A weird one, Tuck just kind of fell into Joey, then Tuck's helmet came off.
Giants are wilting a little here. Is it Eli? Is it the team? I think its both.
Eli has a real dopey look on his face. The kind where you want to grab him and say, "Hey! Schmendrick!
Oh shit. Hall snatches the pass meant for Toomer. Shockey makes a nice stop... which draws a flag. I don't know about that. Low block? What's he supposed to do? It wasn't much of a block, he kind of rolled at him.
Toomer should've had him.
Oh wait, the penalty was for a block on somebody else. Shockey probably did it. But he also probably didn't know he did it.
Aaaand... the Falcons do nothing. NICE.
Is there any possibility that the Cavemen sitcom will be any good?
Eli Manning is clearly the best quarterback in the NFL... playing tonight.
So rather than discuss the game, let's discuss Eli. Again. You know what? He's a decent quarterback. Maybe he suddenly becomes great but I doubt it.
How is it that Shockey always falls down when he catches the ball?? That was a nice catch, and he wasn't going any further than where he got. But he always falls down. It's bizarre.
Nice stiff arm by Toomer.
Dangerous throw by Eli. It worked this time but that makes me nervous. I guess it's like getting back on the horse when you fall off - thread the needle, no INT, you feel better, etc.
Stupid challenge overturning the catch. I'm with Jaws, they're wrong. He got his hand under it.
Oh for fuck's sake, Tynes. First Scottish-born player. My countryman. Maybe we need to make him the last Scottish-born player. He makes it. Seriously, he makes me nervous. But this time he made it.
I wonder if the guys in the booth start to get bored when the game isn't close and it starts getting late. Sounds like it.
See, when Tony talks sports and doesn't try to be funny, he's OK.
Decent run by Reuben Droughns. If Tiki and Ron Dayne were "Thunder and Lightning," what are these three (Jacobs, Ward, Droughns)? The Sun, The Moon and The Stars? Kukla, Fran and Ollie? Father, Son, Holy Ghost? Moe, Larry and Curly?
Derek Anderson will be a restricted free agent. All of a sudden that's actually slightly newsworthy.
Red Sox loooooooose. Ha ha.
This game is kind of limping towards a conclusion. Maybe not limping. More like yawning. No, that's not it either. I'll find the word. Loping? That's better.
Byron Leftwich says he's "not a backup in this league." He wants to play. So I'll give him that. "I know I'm here for a reason." But dude? You are a backup. And your former team is 4-1 without you. Bummer.
The Falcons really look like they'd rather just go home. It's almost sad.
Some enormous Falcon just fell over the line for an "encroachment" penalty.
Jacobs is questionable now, so is Ward. For tonight at least. But if Droughns keeps busting out 45 yard runs like that, it won't matter. It also helps to play high school teams the Falcons.
Damn. Giants have had the ball for 38 minutes and have over 400 yards of offense.
OK, Ward must not be all that hurt, since he just ran in a TD. OK, strolled in is more accurate. Tynes even made the extra point. It's like Christmas and Chanukah on the same day.
So according to Korny the problem before was that Tom Coughlin was a cranky butthead before. Now he's mellowed out a little and the team is playing better. Maaayyybe.
OK, J.Load is in. This game is over. That's all for tonight.

Week 6 vs ATL - notes

2007-10-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

So let's start with the fact that everybody thinks the Giants will win this game. That alone is enough to make me nervous.
Pre-game: "Has Eli proven everyone wrong?" I don't know, but it was nice to see his response to Tiki's bullshit replayed. Being forced to respond to Barber did seem to help him come out of his shell.
Here's a question: if Tiki worked for ESPN, would he have said that?
Parcells: 12 teams have played at least 2 quarterbacks this year. Eli stayed in with a sprained shoulder. (Kurt Warner left the game Sunday with an injury to his non-throwing elbow - what a wuss!) Parcells thinks Eli's doing pretty good, that's enough for me. 45 straight starts - hey, what the hell, could be worse, right?
Harrington - does it suck to be him? Kind of, but at least he's got money. I wonder how it effects your body to be sacked that much (17 times this year). I'll ask Jon Kitna next time I see him.
I don't know that I recognize everyone in Bocephus' band. I was never a big Stray Cats guy either. Is that Richie Sambora? Step down from Little Steven. On the other hand, does anyone give a shit? Shouldn't ESPN just get a band that would pay them for the exposure? Or use some corporate synergy and have The Wiggles perform?
Yeah, I'd kiss Suzy Kolber.
Michele Tafoya has a very manly voice.
Warrick Dunn - any running back lighter than me who survives more than five minutes in the NFL is an impressive guy.
Mike Tirico has to work his way up to boring.
Why is Harrington being allowed to lead the team down the field? He stinks. Remind him of that.
Joe Horn? I thought he was helping Vinny Testaverde get to the toilet.
Funny seeing how the Falcons have no running game all of a sudden. It's not just that Vick is gone; Dunn is getting old, the other guys are rookies and not Adrian Peterson-type rookies, and the O-line is nothing to write home about.
I wonder how much TV training football players are given. These days they have
That wasn't a bad pass, but he couldn't keep his feet in bounds. I'd tell you who the receiver was but I have no idea.
Morten Andersen is 47. Tirico just told us he's kicking a 47 yard field goal. These guys aren't very good.
Joey is a little too happy about that field goal.
NFL.com is amazingly behind. I'm time-shifting via Tivo so I'm about 10-15 minutes in the past, and the stuff on the NFL's site is even behind that.
"A full foot short" of a first down - why not go for it? I know, it's early, but that kind of thing really helps get a team going. Yeah yeah, I know, it's a bad idea. Fuck off.
ROUGHING THE KICKER? Oh wait, it's on Atlanta. That's fine.
Is the ATL defense good? I didn't think so but they sure are in Eli's face.
O'Hara's right - Kareem McKenzie does look like Suge Knight. Plaxico no whatxico?
OK, we're moving here. Not bad. This isn't a world-beating team but they can play. And with the Eagles stinking on ice they've got a chance.
Jacobs is hurt again? Maybe, maybe not. It's a "burner". So we'll see.
Shockey, nice catch. Dude needs a shrink, he'd be a better player.
Need to keep in mind that it's only a tremendously dumb penalty that kept this drive going.
Not a Toomer? IT IS A TOOMER! Touchdown. Nice.
Please make the extra point please make the extra point... Good!
OK, what the hell was that? Norwood just ran for 67 yards and a TD. Where the hell was everybody? That guy I couldn't name before, Laron Robinson, blocks Sam Madison a little too easily. That shouldn't have happened. NFL.com thought Warrick Dunn ran that one in. That was last year, guys (and it was 90 yards).
Boomer on a motorcycle, with the mustache? Something I kind of can't un-see.
ATL is the only team without a 100 yard rushing game so far this year. Well, they'll get it tonight.
Nice 19 yard run by Jacobs.
Joey Harrington needs to watch himself with that perkiness or he'll become Chad Pennington, waving a towel on crutches.
NICE pass to Burress. Man, talk about an ad for skipping practice. Has he practiced once this year? I don't think so.
And Shockey now. He practices, I think. But he's drunk when he does. (We have no evidence of that but, well, whatever.)
Without that Norwood run this had the potential to be a blowout.
NICE catch by Toomer keeping his feet in. For some reason I always find that really impressive.
And Droughns just kind of walks into the end zone.
Kornholio is much better on PTI than he is here.
Shockey looks like he doesn't bathe. He reminds me of a kid who pulls the wings off butterflies.
Phrase you rarely here: "As The Rock said at the beginning of the show..."
Apparently Eli is a riot in the locker room. This is according to Mike Tirico. And he should know.
Strahan might be the most self-congratulatory player ever. He makes a tackle and he's all, "YEAH! I MADE A TACKLE!" To paraphrase Chris Rock, he always wants credit for shit he's supposed to do.
Fumble, and a challenge, but it fails. At first they thought it came out while he was throwing, but the replay showed otherwise. Coughlin manages to not completely freak out.
One extra yard, and Andersen can't make it. He can't outkick his age. OK Tirico, that was somewhat amusing.
Just when I was thinking “isn't it great to use Blogger instead of worrying about your own hosting service” it goes down for no reason.
Toomer, Burress, Shockey – this is almost (not quite) but almost Patriots-like. Eli's spreading the ball around nicely.
10 completions in a row is a record for Eli -
Fuckin' A, Plax is having a great year. 43 yard TD catch. That was a perfect pass. And he's hurt. An ankle, which is kind of important to a receiver.
Plax has as many TDs as Randy Moss. And Eli -> Burress? Same # of TDs in the past few seasons as Peyton -> Harrison.
Plax and Eli play catch before the game but no real practice. And the coaching staff is worried that they won't be able "grow". Um, look. If it ain't broke don't fix it. I typed this before Kornholio said it, I swear.
Who the hell is Plax talking to on the phone?
Completions up to 12 consecutive for Eli. See, good teams beat up on bad teams. ATL really looks like a bad team. This is a good sign.
I know, West Coast, time difference, and all that crap. But these games should start earlier. Atlanta's not on the West Coast. So start the game at 7pm or something.
Can they convert on 3rd and 1? This is something they need to be able to do. Droughns... makes it.
At last, some digs at Tiki. Well, there have been others. And this isn't his network. But it can't be said enough that Barber had/has a big mouth.
Burress has 89 yards and a TD and the first half isn't even over yet.
OK, now he's forcing the ball to Burress a little too much. Jaws calls it "trust" but he can't fixate like that. Listen to me sounding like I think I know what I'm talking about.
Delay of game. It was just a matter of time before a dumb penalty happened. Surprised it was Eli.
Shannon Sharpe called Plaxico 'Plexiglass' cuz he was so injury prone. That's funny.
See, they say that Plax 'matured' and is playing better, but they don't say that Shockey is immature and needs to be more mature.
Sinorice Moss gets into it a little with D'Angelo Hall. That looked like a foul to me.
Please get the ball back. Harrington's not so good but don't give them a chance to get back in it. The game isn't over yet, guys. Where's my cell phone? What's Coughlin's number?
Nasty sack by the Giants.
And another one.
And another one. We may see Leftwich before this game is over. Not because he'll be better but because Harrington will be in the hospital.
OK Jaws, yes, Spagnola's system could be good, but Pierce just strolled through the ATL line. With better blocking that isn't so easy.
Harrington looked like he was screaming in pain when he went down. His body jerked around... ouch.
Interesting, Chris Redman is warming up, not Leftwich.
Joey stays in. OK, I'll give him credit for that.
Even if the Giants don't score before halftime this is a decent first half.
1:39, no time outs. Running play. 1 yard. Sure, that makes sense.
No, 3 and out, no no no. Stay strong.
Good getting up quickly Shockey. It's not nap time!
Good quick conversion on 3rd down, spike the ball, stop the clock. Hey, this is working.
Spoke too soon. Eli throws a pick. Hate that. It probably won't matter but it fucks with his head. That was a bad one. Not the worst but... ATL has time outs.
Here's a quote: "Joey Harrington has a left ankle issue." Hey, we've all got our issues.
Almost a pick by Osi, but he muffs it. At least they stopped him. Bad drop by ATL. To be fair, who are these receivers?
OK, they snag the Hail Mary pass. Good deal. That helps make up for the Eli pick.

Mid-Week Update

2007-10-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

The Two Running Back System is here to say, methinks. Fanball.com says:
October 9, 2007 9:38 AM ET
Giants: Coughlin pleased with backfield combo
The News
Giants head coach Tom Coughlin is pleased with how the combined backfield of Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward fared in Week 5. "As I have said many times, the more good football players you can have, the better off you are going to be," Coughlin tells the team's official web site. "I thought yesterday Derrick Ward's first half was very good and the experience he had with the ankle that kind of set him back and hobbled him up a little bit. I thought that Brandon's second half was strong. So the combination worked very well." The Giants running backs rushed for 171 yards and two touchdowns against the Jets.
Our View
Provided Ward is able to continue working through his ankle soreness, we expect the Giants to use both he and Jacobs as the season rolls along. Jacobs will be the better fantasy back, but people should realize that this probably won't be a one-man show.

That's largely fantasy oriented, but it helps to point out that this is the way things are right now. Bad for fantasy players but good for teams who don't want to run down their stars (I'm looking at you Herminator).

Newsday says that the 3 books the Giants currently have out are not distractions in the locker room. Sure, that's because the team has won three in a row. They lose on Monday to the crappola Falcons and you know what? Someone will say it's a distraction.

Here are the books, which I haven't read but that won't stop me from commenting:

- The GM: The Inside Story of a Dream Job and the Nightmares that Go with It
This one looks the most interesting. It's a dream job but take out stock in Maalox. It's always fascinating to see a relatively unvarnished version of what goes on behind the scenes and this appears to be that, judging by the fact that some folks are pissed off about it. Angry people usually means a better book (see also the new Charles Schultz biography.)

- Tiki: My Life in the Game and Beyond
Maybe it's because I'm not a fan of his personality off the field but this holds almost no interest for me. Why bash the coach and then come out with some lukewarm nonsense about how you didn't hate the guy? How are you planning to establish yourself as a legit newsperson, even a sports newsperson, when all you talk about is your own team and how they aren't all that good? To be fair, the "Eli's a bit of a weenie" routine has died down, but I agree with Arthur Staple of Newsday when he says that "Barber has made himself irrelevant by speaking out too much for a retired guy." I'll go further and say too far, period.

- Inside the Helmet: Life as a Sunday Afternoon Warrior
Assuming life suddenly got longer, I might be more inclined to read Strahan's book than Barber's. But not much more. Strahan seems to have convinced the NFL and many fans that he is as good as Lawrence Taylor. He's not. Lawrence Taylor was possibly the best defensive player ever. And right now, Strahan isn't even the best player on his own team; Osi looks like he's going to have a nice career ahead of him if he stays healthy, and Tuck seems to be a good fit as well. He can't even claim to be acting as a mentor because of his bizarre hold out that wasn't a hold out; frankly, it looked like he just wanted to hang on the beach and try to get Pam Oliver's phone number. None of this is based on reportage, so take it for what you will, but Strahan seems a little bit off and his book, which apparently only barely covers his tremendously ugly divorce, hardly seems like must-read material. Is it possible that his wife made up all of the things she said about him? Sure it is. But there's still the holdout, the fake sack of Bret Favre to break a record, and the fact that he appears intent on convincing people that he's better than one of the greatest players of all time.

So right now the Giants have as many books as they have wins. Hopefully they'll keep winning, but the number of books will stop at three. If it keeps going, eventually we'd get something by Jeremy Shockey, and nobody in the publishing world wants that to happen.

Week 5 vs NYJ - notes, 2nd half

2007-10-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

This isn't looking good. Jacobs being back is good, I guess, but the Jets shouldn't be having their way with the Giants like this. Eli is the big surprise. I thought Plax was sooo much taller than the Jets defenders. They have no one who can stop him. Um...
Pennington is better than McNabb? Nah. Better O-line? Maybe. But also maybe the D was playing under the gun last week and this week they're the princes of the city.
Nice toss to Plax. Eli moved, had time, hit his man.
BJ is good, I'll give him that. Ward is the real surprise. They shouldn't jump back to Jacobs just because the guy they wanted to be the guy is healthy.
Big, long TD run for Jacobs! Still got the ball in that precarious spot.
Tynes... MAKES THE EXTRA POINT! So exciting.
Leon Washington. TD. Kickoff return. 2nd time this year. So, you know, it should have come as a surprise to the Giants. 24-14. The football gods giveth, and they taketh away.
Aside: hey, the Saints are winning. And look, the Browns scored. Just a field goal, but OK.
The offense does look better, which is nice, and Eli probably has more than a zero-point-zero rating. But we gotta score here.
The phrase "Pennington - back to work" should not make the opposing team nervous. Yet, today it does.
So today the defense looks human. Maybe a B so far. B-. Somehow I knew this wasn't the world-beating crew that it looked like. They did stop the Jets finally. There's a phrase you don't hear very often.
The Giants' return game really does suck. With everything else that was going on the past 4 weeks I didn't really notice.
Proof that nobody knows anything - Gus Frerotte is having a good day for the Rams, Reggie Bush is still mediocre, and Chad Pennington is beating the hell out of the Giants.
Once again, Plax is playing well in the 2nd half. He already doesn't practice; maybe he shouldn't even play until after halftime.
Oh yeah, the ankle sprain too. So he plays best when he's hurt and skips practice. Seriously, let's let him work from home for the first half. He can show up around halftime.
Aside: The Browns have 10 points! 10 whole points! And the Chiefs are being shut out. By the Jaguars.
Shockey scores! First one this season. Much as I don't like him, the team does play better when he's playing well. 3 points game.
I'm not kidding, every time Tynes kicks I get a twinge of panic.
Somehow when Shockey drinks Gatorade out of a clear bottle, you can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, somebody peed in it.
5 yards for the Jets this half. On offense, of course. Still.
Maybe Thomas Jones isn't that good. I always thought he was but he does seem to lack that extra whatever that makes a great player.
Oooo! Almost a great pass by Chadwick. Coles was maybe a touch overthrown. Even Chad says: "Oh!"
HOW DO YOU LEAVE COLES OPEN AFTER HE'S BEEN MOST OF THE OFFENSE ALL FREAKIN' DAY???
BUT! CHAD! THROWS! A! PICK! Right to a Giant defender!
Not clear what he was thinking there. It must be tough to have all those enormous dudes running at you, so panic happens, but it happens a lot to some players.
Bad call and another lost challenge for Cough. He was in the end zone. I don't think I get that rule, and now the ball is on the 1 instead of the 20.
BUT the Jets hold Plax, and that puts them on the 6.
3rd and 1. My guess - running play. This time, it works. Ward runs right through the Jets.
Ooof. Nasty facemask. That hurt.
Wait, it was a collar grab. Not as bad, although still a foul.
Burress BIG TD! Dances (literally) down the sideline, doesn't step out, and he SCORES! Giants take the lead.
A little bit too soon to celebrate for him, he could've been stopped.
AGAIN with Tynes. Heart skips a beat. 4 point game.
What a difference a half makes. First half, 16 yards. Second? 323. Crazy stat. Maybe the whole team can skip the first half. Just let a Pop Warner team play, then after halftime, the
Why wasn't Chad sacked there? How do you go from 12 sacks to none? No wrapping up by the tackler. What have we been saying? Cough, my line is open if you want to talk. If almost turned into a one-handed grab by Brad "What Position Is He?" Smith but he was out of bounds.
Aside: the Panthers tied it up? Man the Saints stink this year.
Isn't it amazing how quickly a game can start to look like a blowout? 3rd & 16, and you'd never know the Jets were having their way with the Giants earlier.
Of course, then Brad "WR - for now" Smith gets the long first down.
NICE INTERCEPTION! Who was that? Aaron Ross. 2nd one today, this one for a TD. Girlfriend is a sprinter, or something. Tynes kicks (gulp), makes it, and it's 35-24. Ross just lept in front of the ball, came out of nowhere. NOW it looks like a blowout.
1st sack of the game, by Osi, of course. There's a sign for the stadium: "OSI - OF COURSE!" OK, maybe not. I guess D'Bricky is doing a good job.
Aside: Holy crap, the Saints lost. 0-4. Drew Brees, no TDs, 2 picks. Next: a comet hits the Earth.
That's it fellas. Giants take it. It was scary for awhile but they pulled it out. Droughns does some mop up work, and that's all she wrote. Next up: some really crappy teams.

Week 5 vs NYJ - notes

2007-10-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Tynes kicks off, reminding us that he kind of needs to be replaced. Not that it was a bad kickoff, it was fine. But they gotta get a reliable FG kicker. Maybe his new kid is distracting him.
Nice batdown by Tuck, who's starting, which is smart. Guy's good.
3 and out! See ya, Chadwick.
Oddly, Chad has a much higher QB rating than Eli.
McQuarters falls down on the kick return.
Diehl has been good at LT, which was a pleasant surprise.
Hm, Jets D doesn't look too bad. Or Eli isn't that good. Or somewhere in between.
Ward and Jacobs are both playing. I don't know what to think about that. Ward was really good while BJ was out, and maybe they should just keep rolling with him.
Shockey gets beat by Eric Smith, a backup safety. Now he does his "Damn! I shoulda caught that!" routine: walking with his head down towards the bench, testily removing his chin strap, muttering to himself. If he weren't a football player people would think he was insane. Oh wait...
Direct snap to Leon Washington and bam! First down. Shit. If the Jets can start doing these gadgety plays they're going to be much more dangerous.
Oh come on! Thomas Jones? Wide open! What is he, Randy Moss? Cover him.
Nice coverage by Madison on Cotchery. As CBS says: "No one fears them downfield," meaning the Jets. That was the third pass of more than 20 yards by the Jets this year, they say. Wow. Nice that they trust Chad's arm.
Jets keep their under 50% third down coversion rate with another trick-type play, Brad Smith at QB with a sneak.
Mangini goes for it, which is the right move. At this point, what's gonna happen? Take a shot. But they don't, the plan was to try and get the Giants to jump offsides. That's a little weird. Did you think that was going to work? I guess it was worth a try.
Punt gets downed inside the 10.
Jump ball for Burress and... nope. Looked like a little interference but I guess not.
OK, nice run by Jacobs. I take back what I said earlier.
FUMBLE???? What? Now I take back what I just took back. What was that? The ghost of Tiki's early career? Quick TD by the Jets D. Annoying.
Deep analysis of the fumble reveals that, yes, Jacobs is emulating Tiki by carrying the ball high with his elbow out. WRONG TIKI TO EMULATE.
Now the Jets seem all energized and the Giants are curling up into a ball and sucking their thumbs.
There's a good play for 3rd and 8 - quick flip to the backup Tight End.
For some reason I think Leon Washington is a good player. That's not based on much but he seems to be kind of small and quick, the kind of guy who can get you some sneaky yardage. Maybe it's just the name. Leon Washington is a Real Football Player Name.
Ah, the great Chris Baker beats the Giants D. Uh-oh.
Thomas Jones is running well, Pennington has time. What's going on here?
OK, Jones has 16 yards, which isn't exactly world-beating. But still.
Wow, that throw by Chad was about as lame-looking as anything you'll ever see. He kind of spun while trying to avoid a sack and chucked it toward the sideline.
They stopped them. Now let's starting scoring. We don't want this to be true.
There you go! Missed the FG. 42 yards isn't a chip shot but still. Maybe this can change the momentum a bit.
Nice MLB-style slide by Eli.
Whoah. Manning makes like Vince Young and rushes a first down. He sort of crumbled at the end, which was looked weird. Good play.
Jacobs is just hard to stop. How does a guy that size run so fast?
Pass to Shockey... and he catches it! *And* runs after the catch!
And Ward runs it in! He ran right through those Jets.
When Tynes kicks, you cringe. It's slightly to the right and you go "NO! PLEASE! DON'T MISS IT!"
Ward and Jacobs looking like bookends on the sidelines, sipping their Gatorade.
Mangold is down. That won't be good for the Jets.
Aside: Bruce Springsteen has too many earrings. And I have to admit, I don't really know what his new song is about. It is, however, cool that he's giving it away for nuthin'.
Crappy snap to Chadwick's crotch causes a sack and a false-start penalty.
Jones keeps wanting to run outside, which isn't really working with this group.
Interesting stat: Mangini calls a running play 96% of the time from 8 yards out. And always to the left side. Who is he, Herm Edwards?
Oh, Mangold is back. He should play Thor in a movie adaptation.
Pushed out? Nuh uh. Well... actually, he got it. He would've come down in bounds. Don't challenge it Cough! Oh, come on. We've all got other things to do, don't drag this out.
So you can challenge the catch but not the force out. OK. Does anyone know these rules fully?
CBS giving Chad credit for accuracy, which is fair. Chad's not really hatable, and the team wins with him in there. But he's annoying. Nice catch by Coles.
Waste of a time out by Cough.
Mangini's got a "game face" that he likes to put on. It's not as good as a real one. It's more Jonathan Papelbon than Mariano Rivera.
Penington gets the first down on a sneak.
Tuck again, throwing himself at
NICE PICK BY MADISON with a decent run afterwards. Good blocking, but more importantly, good energy from the team. They're not curling up in the corner!
Manning throws to... the invisible coach.
Weird, this long shot they're showing looks like it's from 50 years ago.
Derrick Ward has a higher percentage of his team's rushing yards than any other team. Even Larry Johnson has a smaller percentage, and he's on a Herminator team. Not really a fair stat, though, since he only came in after an injury.
Intentional grounding on Eli. I don't know, I want to believe in him but he makes a lot of panicky mistakes. Haven't seen him do his Peyton impression yet this week; I think that helped him before.
25 year difference between the two coaches. That's the third time today I've heard that.
See, that's a play where if Chad had a stronger arm the team would be better: He actually managed to sidestep the defenders but the best he can do is a poky little pass.
Dang, nice jump by Coles. He's only 5' 11"?
Aside: New England versus Cleveland - it's just not fair. 20-0 at the moment. Guess who's ahead. No really. Guess.
Brad Smith is an interesting player. If he's good he could be very dangerous - QB, WR, RB. If not, he's mostly just annoying. No matter what, he's totally irritating in fantasy leagues, where you wouldn't know what position to put him in.
Cotchery was wide open. Suddenly the Giant defense looks human again.
And... Brad Smith. TD. First touchdown. Ever. Partly set up by a facemask penalty earlier. Now Eli and Co. need to start scoring.
Where's Plax? Maybe he'll show up in the second half like before.
22 yards passing so far for NYG?
Is it annoying when the play-by-play guys know better than the coach? Yes. Yes it is. He said "don't throw it" and what do the Giants do? Throw. And it's intercepted. Plus, Burress was open. Eli...we need to talk.
To quote Animal House and the great Artie Lange - "Zero. Point. Zero." That's Eli.
47 yard field goal is... good. This one, he makes. Fuck. Stupid INT.
17-7 at the end of the half.

Osi...D'Brickashaw...D'Brickashaw...Osi...

2007-10-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

D'Brick is blocking Osi. Brick's been good this year so far, but Osi is coming off that huge game. Why am I calling Ferguson "Brick" and "D'Brick" as if I give a crap about him? The name is memorable, and he was a very early pick for the Jets who seems to be paying dividends. Osi's playing hurt, but it's not clear how hurt. Let's not forget Kiwanuka, who had 3 sacks himself last week. Chad's in trouble...

From ESPN NFL Countdown this morning:
2006 Jets: Was it a mirage?
The Jets are... who we thought they were!
Lots of excitement last year but it's gone now. Mangini's little tricks (videos to get them motivated, for example) don't really work anymore.
BUT Ditka says it's not a mirage. They're a decent team who went to the playoffs last year. 1-3 this year so far doesn't erase that. I'd go with Ditka, who, at 127 years old, could probably still kick my ass.

Origami Chad?

2007-10-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

Just overheard on ESPN Radio:
[The Jets] have no way to protect the quarterback...Chad Pennington will be a sitting duck...How many ways can you fold the human body?

Maybe they can fold him into a puppy... or a nice duck! That'd be so cute...

Week 5 Articles and Links

2007-10-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

- This is dopey but amusing. (via Deadspin.)
- Jeremy Shockey knows he's not as good as advertised. Or something. (Shockey wonders if he'll ever return to glory, Newsday)
- Newsflash! Plaxico Burress is tall. The Jets? Short. Film at 11. (Defending Giants' Burress a tall order for Jets, The Home News Tribune)
- Comments on the Shockey story in Newsday. Sample: It will be pretty hard for Shockey to return to glory of playing football while his head is in his rectal cavity. (Topix.net)
- Two more articles about the Shockmeister:
(Via Big Blue Interactive, a great site for all things Giants.)

Static Shock by Paul Schwartz of The New York Post
Shockey Doesn’t Want Penalty Yards to Spike by Ernie Palladino of The Journal News

Week 5 Preview

2007-10-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

- From WFAN, Mike Francesa say: When the Giants get too positive, they don't play well. The Jets have been knocked around and have their backs against the wall, the Giants are the darlings of the city at this point. "The Jets will be inspired this week, the Giants don't play well when they're playing with prosperity." That's kind of quoting and paraphrasing. It's a good point. This is a team that really gets annoying when they start patting each other on the back. Remember guys: the first two weeks you sucked. Keep a running loop of Pam Oliver telling you how much you suck; maybe it'll keep you motivated. God knows Coughlin doesn't seem to know how to do that.
- Umenyiora missed practice, which is maybe understandable after the monster game he had last week. He's expected to play, which should make Chad Pennington verrrry nervous.
- Plax didn't practice either, which is becoming a pattern. He's having a great year so far, scoring in each of the past three weeks. So maybe he doesn't need to practice.
- Strahan had a meek little practice session but should play. He's been better but he's not the real threat on this team at this point, Osi is.
- Chad could get destroyed in this game. The Giants biggest worry should be beating themselves with "Hey! We're the greatest defense ever!" bullshit. Strahan: YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS LAWRENCE TAYLOR. Osi: great job last week. Same to your teammates. BUT IT'S ONLY WEEK 5. YOU HAVE A LOT OF GAMES LEFT. I don't trust Coughlin to really get in there and keep them in line; his much-vaunted "disciplined approach" hasn't seemed to manifest itself into actual disciplined play on the field. Get Pam Oliver to give the pre-game speech. Her, they listen to.

Warning: Mientkiewicz Crossing

2007-10-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

Mientkiewicz Collides With Cameraman, Says He’ll Play
Not to make fun of the guy, but what the hell? First he got knocked out for months (it was a cringe-worthy, nasty hit, the kind where the guy gets smacked in the head and doesn't move right away) when colliding with a former Red Sox teammate. Now this? Come on, dude. You're hitting, you're clutch, we need ya.
At least he seems to have a sense of humor about it:
Doug Mientkiewicz, slated to start as first baseman for the Yankees tonight in their American League divisional series opener against the Indians, collided with a television cameraman as Mientkiewicz was walking from the team bus into Jacobs Field.

“Accidents happen, especially to me,’’ Mientkiewicz said while standing outside the clubhouse door about two and a half hours prior to the first pitch. “Everything happens to me. Why wouldn’t it happen to me?’’
Maybe its karma.
Who cares. If he helps the Yankees win a game, he's my bro.

When Q-Tips Attack

2007-10-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Turns out a cotton swab can bring down a 300 pound man:

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J., Oct. 3 — The oddest injury of the season so far was sustained by linebacker Chase Blackburn, who was bumped by a reporter in the crowded postgame locker room Sunday as he cleaned his ear with a cotton swab.

The swab nearly ruptured Blackburn’s ear drum, and it was painful enough to drop Blackburn to the floor. He said he lost hearing in the ear, which bled, but doctors expect it to slowly return.

Blackburn is 6'3" and weighs 247 pounds. A cotton swab weighs maybe an ounce and varies in length; let's say the average is three inches.
But add a reporter to the mix and BAM!
It sounds (no pun intended) like it must've hurt something awful. I'm carrying cotton swabs with me from now on, just in case I get mugged.

Mid-Week Update

2007-10-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

Giants Waive Mix - this seems weird since Mix had a great pre-season and seemed poised to contribute this year. With Steve Smith out, I thought Mix would get into, you know, the mix (too easy, sorry). From the Star-Ledger:
Mix will find a job elsewhere very quickly. With his size (6-5, 235) and ability, he's the kind of receiver a team would love to try developing. The Giants likely waived him because he doesn't contribute much on special teams and plays the "X" receiver spot exclusively. That's Plaxico Burress' position, so Mix isn't able to get on the field unless Burress is injured. And with a creaky ankle that keeps him out of practice during the week, it's always a possibility Burress might have to take a seat. If he does, Mix won't be around to fill the void.
So, weird move, hopefully he won't end up on The Eagles and come back and burn us later on.
Coughlin kicks around ideas to fix problem - this is a real problem. Tynes seems to really stink. It's his fourth season, and during his first three (all with the Chiefs) he never more more than 81% of his kicks, usually under 80% (via NFL.com). Not exactly stellar numbers. As Jason Elam has shown us this year, kickers are important.

Apocalypse Averted

2007-10-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

Patriots win. Stat of the day: Mike Vrabel has nine receptions in his career. Each one is for a touchdown. The '72 Dolphins guys should be getting nervous.

Another sign of the apocalypse?

2007-10-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

The Bengals defense is doing a decent job against the Patriots offense.
(above photo from here - you have found your halloween costume.)

News from the Garden

2007-10-01T14:16:00.000-07:00

On Mike and The Mad Dog, Mike Francesa just reported that the jury in the Anucha Browne Sanders trial seems to be coming down on the side of the plaintiff, which means that the Garden will likely take a big hit financially and otherwise. Interestingly, Francesa said that someone from the Garden called him to say, "If you talk about this, make sure you mention that no matter what the verdict is, Isiah will be the coach this season." Both Mike and Chris doubted that this would be the result if the verdict comes back fully in Sanders' favor; however, as Mike said, "Dolan is stubborn."
This whole case is a mess, and the Garden folks should be embarrassed in a number of ways. Regardless of what went on behind closed doors, Thomas, Dolan and the entire Knicks organization look like a bunch of fools.
Update (10/1 5:27PM): Mike just said that a source tells him that the Garden is going to lose the whole thing. And "if they lost everything, Isiah would still be the coach." Chris: "Easy to say that on October 2."

Strahan isn't fit to hold Lawrence Taylor's Jock

2007-10-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Click here to listen in.

Brett Favre breaks record, acts weird

2007-09-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

To celebrate breaking Dan Marino's record, Favre decides to barbecue one of his teammates.

Week 4 vs PHI - notes: 2nd half

2007-09-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

Halftime show:

Do we believe Romo's "aw shucks" routine? It's remarkably believable.
I'm not sure it's possible for me to care any less about high school football, which means I won't be purchasing a Toyota truck.
"How do you take a 14-2 team..." Easy shot, KO, but a good point. And LT2 looks like he should be on suicide watch.
What the hell is Brett Favre doing?

3rd Quarter:

McNabb is getting his ass kicked big-time. Do I have to start saying nice things about Steve Spag? Not if mocking him is working.
Aside: No matter what happens to you this week, keep saying "At least I'm not a Mets fan." Unless you are a Mets fan, in which case you're in for a long couple of weeks.
Madden points out that Eli stopped the Eagles from running his INT in for a TD.
Ouch. Kearse pounds Ward. BUT a facemask erases that. Whoo-hoo! Why isn't The Cough smiling? Maybe he'd rather be bowling.
Philly has 83 yards of offense, and 85 yards of penalties, sayeth the sage Al Michaels. Shit, that sucks. For them.
Punt downed at the 1 yard line. TAKE THAT PHILLY!
Osi has 4 sacks, and almost has a 5th.
What? Nothing? After that great field position? Not even a field goal?
Feagles pops some Geritol and kicks it inside the 5 again. We mock the elderly, but that's only because we're jealous of their wisdom.
Wendy's: It's Better Than Helium. Weirdest ad campaign ever.
Do you think Blockbuster paid a lot of money to get the exclusive rental rights to '1408'?
Cameron Diaz actually looked excited that she was picked out by the camera. And damn, she looks good.
If the Giants defense plays well again tonight, they'll be erecting statues to Steve Spag, and Strahan will be strutting around town like he's the greatest player on the planet.
Tony Hunt busts through for a first down.
Spagnuolo (maybe I need to spell his name right) likes to jump around, and it gets the players excited. So sayeth our sideline reporter.
Kiwanuka sacks McNabb. This is getting scary. He may not survive the night.
Nice illustration of how Kiwa should be playing the position that he, you know, always played.
Here's a nice stat for ya:
NET YARDS PASSING -28

Times Sacked (Number-Yards) 8 - 39

Gross Yards Passing 11
McNabb, that's you...
Shockey catches the ball and runs with it! After catching the ball! He ran! This guy is right - this could be the end of the world...
Pass interference on PHI. Even I could've called that one. Toomah!
OK, I got up to get a drink and it's 4th and goal. What the hell happened? Dammit. Give the ball to Droughns or something.
You gotta love Madden. (Seriously, not mocking him this time.) "That's just a bad play." Burress behind the line of scrimmage? Yeah, I think it's safe to say that
Hey, somebody makes a field goal. At least now we know we're not watching a college game.
"And McNabb. Drops. The ball." Al sounded a little shell shocked. Actually, McNabb bumped into one of his own players. OK, that's sort of funny. Eli actually looks a little pained watching that happen.
LAME challenge, but I guess Reid has to try to keep the game within reach. Buckhalter (was that him?) looked like he could've gotten the ball back if he'd fallen on it.
Ruling on the field stands. HEY NOW!
Tynes hits the upright on the extra point. No comment.
OK, I'll comment. Isn't this guy a professional kicker? What the hell else is he doing? Missing a field goal, OK. You should make those, but whatever. Extra point? How do you miss that?
First down by Buckhalter, but a nice hard hit takes him down.

NET YARDS PASSING	-28
Times Sacked (Number-Yards)	8 - 39
Gross Yards Passing	11

4th Quarter:

Uh-oh. Favre next week on Sunday night. Madden better get his adjectives ready.
Jill Wagner, the Mercury model, is way hot.
9th sack on McNabb. He's gonna need more surgery. Or something.
53 yard field goal attempt by Akers is.... good. Helps me more than the Eagles, since I get 5 fantasy points. My opponent has Randy Moss, though, so I'm pretty much screwed.
Interesting that Droughns is returning punts and not much else. Last week he punched in two TDs, but that doesn't seem to matter.
It's funny, Buckhalter is doing a decent job filling in for Westbrook (14 carries, 86 yards) but it doesn't matter. Michaels is right, it's like the Eagles have had all the life sucked out of them.
11 sacks! 5 by Osi! Holy shit.
There's time left in this game but the Giants do look good. Or McNabb looks bad. That's always a possibility.
Is there a danger that they might run Ward into the ground? Or are they thinking Jacobs will likely be back next week so we can run this guy as hard as we want to this week?
That's it! Philly needs to wear the fruity uniforms again. (Ambiguously Gay Eagles. Heh heh heh.)
Sam Madison is hurt, but he's playing. Not to wish ill on the guy, but maybe Tynes could get hurt instead? OK, bad karma. Still...
McNabb sneaks it across for a first down. This is why the Giants patting themselves on the back makes me nervous. They suddenly look like there's 17 seconds left rather than 4:17.
I think that's three first downs in a row. Hey, guys, the game isn't that close. And don't let Buckhalter score or I'll really feel like a moron for dropping him. Oh, and then it'll be a close game.
THERE we go. Justin Tuck brings 'em down behind the line. What's wrong, is he hurt? Nothing serious, we don't think.
Could the Eagles O-line be this bad? Could the Giants defense be this good?
Reggie Brown gets a TD... BUT McNabb was over the line of scrimmage. Wow. Isn't that the kind of mistake high school players make? He was beyond it, but not by much, so maybe we'll give him a pass. No pun intended.
4th and 18 and they have to go for it. That's it for Akers' field goals.
Osi gets another sack but he doesn't look so good, health wise I mean. 12 sacks for the team, ties an NFL record. Donovan, you can throw up now, nobody would blame you.
Michaels gives credit to Westbrook, but Buckhalter did a fine job filling in. Maybe the other receivers didn't get open, but the D just beat McNabb down. As the season goes on, we'll see if it's just that the other teams sucked or if this defense is for real.
And there's Droughns, doing mop up work.
That's it! 16-3. Osi breaks the single game sack record with 6, and we were right about him not looking healthy; he needed an IV of "superman juice" (his words - um....) to get back in the game. Watching him talk to Kramer after the game makes you realize that Strahan doesn't have to act like such a dick.

Week 4 vs PHI - notes

2007-09-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

Note: I'll update this post as often as possible during the first half, then start a new post for the second.
Pre-pre-game:

Who knew "pissed off" was a bad thing to say on live TV? (Bettis said it and Costas got a little fitutzed).
Aside: shouldn't fitutzed have more than 5 matches on Google?
OK, somebody's got to say it: Tiki Barber is funny-looking.
Tiki says of Ray Lewis: "He's not a young buck anymore." First of all, I don't like to refer to people who've spent time in prison in a derogatory way. Second, Collinsworth says that, it's a scandal (not to mention creepy as hell). Third, will people please stop asking Tiki if he wants to play football again? Enough! He retired. Who do you think he is, Brett Favre? (this guy really doesn't like Packers fans.)

Pre-game:

Madden says that Eli and The Cough think it's all about pass protection. Great minds thinking alike.
Michael Strahan says the Giants/Eagles rivalry is like NASCAR, proving that it's a damn good thing he found football, because he's really just not that bright.
Westbrook is out, which is good. On a personal note, I dropped Buckhalter from my fantasy roster, which was dumb.
Ward is in, which is very good because he's been solid.

1st Quarter:

Reuben Droughns, back to receive the kickoff, has a completely blank look on his face.
Eli hands off to Ward on the first play and Derrick busts through a bunch of guys. For a backup, this guy is damn good. Of course, the gain is immediately eliminated by a holding penalty. The Cough is all about discipline.
Broderick Bunkley is a good name for an NFL player. Or a cartoon truck.
3 and out, but hey, the Colts do that a lot too. Maybe Eli's really just trying to be like Peyton.
Philly D is decimated - no Dawkins, no Sheppard, and now some guy named Brown goes out too.
Nice aggressive play by Antonio Pierce, going after McNabb on his first play.
Michael Strahan looks too happy. As if it's allll about him.
And McNabb goes down! Justin Tuck gets a sack. This guy is good.
Now Madden starts blowing smoke up Steve Spagnolo's heinie. One good series and the guy's a hero? Come on. I guess he missed out on the lathering up of Brett Favre's butt cheeks so he's got some praising to do.
Eli to Toomer. Amani seems like he's really old. Born in 1974, which makes him 33. That's old for the NFL, but he somehow seems like he's 45 or something.
Madden and Al lather up Derrick Ward too, but that's OK, he deserves it.
Toomer again. When he's on his game, the team seems better.
Eli seems to have more time, and appears to be seeing the field better. The Eagles do have a ton of injured defensive players, though, so let's not hand out trophies yet.
Hey! A penalty not committed by the Giants!
Burress gets an easy catch. The fact that he's playing at all is impressive since he has a sprained ankle.
Ward again, with some yards after the catch for a first down.
BUT they don't make it to the end zone, and Tynes misses a 34 yard field goal!
Harry Carson and Lawrence Taylor. LT still looks like he could break a QBs arm if he wanted to.
Buckhalter! Dammit!
Madden explains why the great Steve's scheme actually hurts them. Make up your mind, John!
If they can make this stop (3rd and 2) I'll be impressed.
And.... nope. Buckhalter. Again. By the way, I started Ron Dayne in my fantasy league rather than taking a chance on whether or not Westbrook would play. So Dayne fucks with a Giants fan, you know, for old times' sake.
Kevin Curtis seems unlikely to repeat last week's insanely high number of yards and TDs.
Strahan comes close to a sack, but McNabb gets rid of it in time. Then Osi nails him.
Is it just me, or do the Giants seem not to tackle that hard?
Here comes the Favre parade. They put his numbers up next to Griese's, which seems odd. Are we really comparing these two?
The Cough looks like he'd rather be watching the game at home.
Nice jump by Ward. It's always impressive when guys this large can leap over other, equally large guys.

2nd Quarter:

WOW. Another penalty not against New York, this time giving them a first down.
Ward has become a huge part of this offense. He's handling it, but there's something troubling about it that I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's because it means that when the star RB went down, Cough and Co. just plugged the new guy into the game plan. It worked, but what if it hadn't?
Eli just misses Burress on a long toss, or Burress drops it, depending on your point of view.
There's a penalty on the Giants. Back to normal.
But they get it back. What's going on here? The full moon was last week.
Eli's definitely showing Peyton-like emotion. So he's either trying to get the team fired up, or making an audition reel for his commercial agent.
Yes, this did say Week 3 a minute ago. I fucked up. It happens.
I'm not going to track it closely enough but I wonder if all these Philly penalties are being made by the substitutes.
Toomer Toomer Toomer. Good.
Graphic showing Eli's progress is interesting. He has gotten better.
PLAX TD! Man he's big. He looks a foot taller than the Eagles' defenders. And Tynes even kicked the extra point. 7-0.
False start on McNabb. Niiiiice.
Strahan gets beat by Jon Runyan, who looks like he's about as big as Paul Bunyan.
Osi's having a nice game.
See, there's another non-tackle. Grabbing McNabb's jersey, and then he (McNabb) gets it off to Reno Mahe for a first down. Speed is great but you gotta tackle too.
Strahan gets his sack. For real. Breaks the record. LT actually doesn't look too happy about it. I like LT in that fight.
Now here's an interesting stat: LT played a full year before the sack was an official stat. So he should really have 9 1/2 (?) more sacks than Strahan. Asterisk time - somebody call Marc Ecko.
Madden gives props to Taylor, which is deserved. "Best defensive player I've seen at any position."
McNabb looks like he might throw up again.
Normally I like it when a player looks like he's having a good time, but Strahan's joy bothers me.
Akers misses a field goal, just to keep things even with Tynes. I played Akers instead of Robbie "I'm not Jewish" Gould on the fantasy team, which was stooopid. Interesting stat, Akers misses a lot at the Meadowlands.
Why are tight ends almost always large white guys who look like they can barely tie their own shoes?
Did I mention I liked Derrick Ward? Madden likes him too. We're both geniuses.
ANOTHER Eagles penalty. This is much more fun when it happens to the other team.
Ward again, with a first down and a leap at the end for good measure.
INT! What??? How'd that happen? Oh. It's because Shockey fell down.
J.Load appears to be consoling Eli, or just trying to get seen on camera. Eli looks mad. I want to see him get all Drew Bledsoe on Shockey, that'd be good. (This has nothing to do with anything really, but it's a little bit amusing.)
10 penalties on the Eagles so far. 70 yards. That's the way you do it, Andy.
And.... halftime. What a barn burner.

Bizarro NFL

2007-09-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

This season so far... I mean, come on. The Lions scored more points in the 4th quarter than any team ever, beating the Bears with semi-new QB Brian Griese. The Bills beat The Jets - well, that's not so weird, but they lost to a team with an unheralded rookie QB (Trent Edwards), and only by one field goal - the field goal that Mike Nugent missed from 35 yards. The Browns beat the CRAP out of the Ravens. The Rams lost to The Cowboys, which isn't so odd, but they're 0-4 and didn't even score an offensive TD today.
THE PACKERS ARE 4-0.
The Chargers were all paid off by Marty Schottenheimer to show that he shouldn't have been fired. This guy still thinks it was a good move; although he doesn't like Norv Turner either.
The Bucs are beating teams soundly.
The Cardinals returned a punt for a TD for the first time since 1993.
Oh, and Trent Dilfer played. 'Nuff said.

Not Another Miracle at the Meadowlands

2007-09-30T16:26:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Keith Olberman, a reminder of The Miracle at the Meadowlands in 1978. Tonight, the Giants need to avenge the Mets, who fucked up so royally that they missed the playoffs. But they missed it in favor of THE PHILLIES, who win the NL East.
Tonight, we make McNabb and friends choke on their cheesesteaks.

80108 Saturday Update - Extras

2007-09-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

The Post points out that Peanut Butter Mikey Strahan needs just one more sack to break the great Lawrence Taylor's record. Perhaps McNabb will help him out by just falling down the way Brett Favre did? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

*-*-*

Plaxico Burress is going to play through a sprained ankle. Considering that MLB pitchers are often scratched from a start because of hangnails, this should remind us all that NFL players are much, much tougher than baseball players.

*-*-*

A close friend has told me many stories of sitting in the snow and watching a crappy Eagles team knock the Giants out of the playoffs. This isn't that situation, but it would be nice to see New York pound Philly. They're vulnerable: except for last week against Detroit, McNabb and company haven't been stellar at all. Some key players could be out on defense, which should help Shockey get open (so he can, you know, fall down after he catches the ball).

Giants Headlines

2007-09-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Dysfunction Loves Company on Atomizing Giants
Unless the season’s opening two weeks were an 80-point aberration, the staple of this organization’s success, defense, seems to have disintegrated on Tom Coughlin’s watch. More specifically, you could say it was during the third quarter of a 35-13 defeat to Green Bay when a countdown commenced on the Coughlin era, when it became apparent that the Giants’ issues go well beyond the coach’s personality and Eli Manning’s learning curve.

Burress’s Ankle Injury Raises Issues for Giants
The Giants may have to face the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday without wide receiver Plaxico Burress, their most dynamic player this season. At the recommendation of the team doctor, Burress flew to Charlotte, N.C., on Wednesday to have his nagging right ankle examined by an orthopedic specialist. A diagnosis was not made available.
Coach Tom Coughlin would not speculate on the severity of Burress’s injury, saying only that the ankle was not broken. The Giants have been calling the injury a sprain.

Jacobs, Ward back to practice
RBs Brandon Jacobs (knee) and Derrick Ward (ankle) were back in pads today at the start of practice and appear set to get back to work. We'll see how much both did later on when coach Tom Coughlin addresses the media after practice.

More Wednesday comments

2007-09-26T17:50:00.001-07:00

Following up on the latest thumbcast:
Plaxico Burress needs to be the player he was in the 2nd half of last week's game. This isn't exactly a genius statement, but if he can play at that level it will make a huge difference for Eli. Manning wants Burress to be his Marvin Harrison; it'll never happen because Plax is too much of a headcase. It does seem that he can keep it together long enough to make some nice plays, and unlike our pal Shockey, he doesn't fall down whenever he catches a pass.
It's interesting how Manning is suddenly not the problem anymore. If the defense plays well against Philly this week, that will quiet the 'Fire Spagnola' movement that was starting after those first two games. As it stands now, the Giants are 12th in the league in average points scored per game with 24 (not bad), and 30th in average points allowed with 32.3 (horrible). If the offense can keep it together they'll win some games. If they fall apart the way they did against the Packers, with Eli throwing terrible interceptions as it all crumbles around him, they could go 4-12 like a lot of sports analysts predicted.

Griese gets his chance

2007-09-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Bigfooty.com and this person (can't view the profile) for linking to Give Griese A Chance. And Bears fans are giving Lovie Smith some love for shelving Rexy in favor of The Griese Man. He's not a worldbeater, but almost anyone would be better than Gross Man at this point. Tim Couch, anyone?

Block Those Boobs

2007-09-24T19:33:00.001-07:00

Note to cameraman: If you want to show the cheerleaders, don't do it with the ads in the way.

A Shockey Blast From the Past

2007-09-23T18:47:00.001-07:00

Try as he may, Jeremy Shockey may never top this moment:

Click the image to see him in all his glory.
Found here.

Late Sunday game: Bears vs Cowboys

2007-09-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

Watching the Chicago defense beat the hell out of Tony Romo, I noticed a difference between the Bears and the Giants. When the Bears tackle somebody, they wrap up and take the guy down. The Giants, who played well today, kind of... trip people. Or grab the guy's foot and watch him hop up and down, which is what Kiwanuka did to Jason Campbell today.

Strahan: Thanks Pam

2007-09-23T16:49:00.001-07:00

Michael Strahan said that Pam Oliver's comments about the team's play on defense inspired them to play better tonight. Either that or he was just trying to pick her up. He is single now, you know.

Week 3 vs WAS: Notes - 2nd Half

2007-09-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

Third Quarter:

Burress makes his first catch of the day after several drops.
Eli looks like he's getting rattled, but then hits Burress with a nice strike, catching London Fletcher napping.
Plax: 8 balls thrown to him, 2 caught.
Nice 21 yard catch by Shockey. He holds up the ball like a kid on Christmas. "See? I caught it!" At least there was no spike - he put it gently on the ground, showing us what a good guy he is. He's a good player, but I think he needs a good therapist.
Oh *there's* Droughns - punching in a 1 yard TD.
NYG marches down the field, three 3rd down conversions, couple of long tosses by Eli, quick 7 points. Good work.
Aside: hey cameraman. If you're going to do a close up of a cheerleader, don't do it when you're plastering ads all over the screen.
Kiwanuka can play. Tuck is good. Strahan - eh. Who knows what would've happened if he would've shown up for camp. Even if its just that the Redskins aren't all that good and the Giants are finally playing a team they can beat (not that they are at this point in the game), so far there's a little bit of hope here in the second half.
Hey look! One of Spag's blitzes worked.
OK, so Shockey's having a good game - 3 for 57, and more catches than any Giants' tight end ever (isn't it annoying how everything is celebrated now?). But I'd swear that he falls down once he gets the ball.
Going good here, definitely playing with more energy - and a false start penalty! On Coughlin's son-in-law Chris Snee. That's gotta be awkward.
And.... INTERCEPTION. Great throw, but to the wrong guy. Dammit. Who was Eli throwing to?
Do those dumb penalties get in the player's heads?
Its like Dr. Plaxico and Mr. Burress - just made a truly great catch. 1st half, all drops, 2nd half, all good.
And Shockey again! I'm going to start talking smack about him every week, it seems to help. Uh-oh, he's hurt. Again.
If nothing else, at least this is a good game. Giants seem to be paying more attention this week.

Fourth Quarter:

Giants moving down the field, but having trouble once they get close to end zone. Aikman joins Buck in the Let's Make Obvious Statements contest - "The New York Giants have had a difficult time in the red zone."
Eli is doing some of his brother's schtick - the arm flapping after a crappy pass, for example.
Something else that seems to happen a lot with this team under Coughlin: timeouts called because the team can't seem to get it together on offense. Yes, the crowd is loud (90,000 crazed 'Skins fans), and its a tense game. But it just looks like that sort of thing happens more often than it should.
NICE RUN BY WARD! 1ST DOWN! BUT THE BALL COMES OUT! FUCK! WHAT IS IT?
...
Three words guaranteed to deflate a drive: "Redskins have it." But Coughlin challenges it.
What would be fun is to have a mic on people during a challenge. The coach, the ref, maybe a really drunk fan.
So his knee was down, and the ball came out after that. After three turnovers, we'll take it.
Another false start! It's not a new thought, but Coughlin's "discipline" never seems to translate into disciplined play.
Good flip to Toomer, putting the team 5 for 5 on third down (thank you, Joe Buck). Washington has 9 yards this half so far. Ouch.
Droughns with another one! Something else I'm going to have to do next week - wonder where Droughns is.
This is one of the many reason this team is frustrating. It's like Burress with the first half drops and the second half tough catches. One minute they look like the crappiest team in the league, the next they score 14 unanswered points and look great.
Hard to tell from the couch, but Tynes appears to be pretty good about trying to make tackles after he boots the ball.
Portis pulls a Burress and drops an easy pass. Three and out for the Giants' Defense? Maybe we need to make fun of Spagnola next week, too.
When a unit turns around like this, you have to wonder if its just that they're playing a team that isn't as good.
Running game: Ward is over 4 yards per carry, and Droughns is working as the short yardage guy in this game with a third and short conversion and a pair of short yardage TD runs.
And... Shockey drops the ball! Tripping on his own feet! Slips off his fingers! Oy. Once his NFL career is over, Shockey has a nice career ahead of him as a cartoon character.
Is Aikman right about Eli having a lot of balls batted down at the line? It does seem like it happens a lot.
Aside: I have a hard time liking Joe Buck. He just bothers me. Aikman is pretty good, though.
Strahan makes a tackle and acts like he just scored the winning TD in the Superbowl.
Redskins fumble! Giants recover! My man Portis couldn't hang on to a hand off for the first Washington turnover of the game (the Giants have three).
Finally a penalty against the Redskins. I'm not good about calling pass interference penalties, but I've seen a couple of plays today that looked like they could've drawn a yellow flag.
Ward gets planted in the ground by the Redskins H.B. Blades (good name).
Eli is definitely trying to Peyton-ize his game at the line of scrimmage. I wonder if big bro coaches him on that sort of thing.
GREAT play by Burress. Wow. When he's good, he's really good. Pokes his hands in front of a Washington defender, dodges a tackle, and runs it all the way into the end zone. Wow. That's got to feel good when you make a play like that. It really is like he's two different players - the first half he was horrible, the second half he's been amazing.
I'm not clear on why Antwan Randle El doesn't get any love from fantasy football guys. I know he's not an elite receiver, but he's better than most. Having a good year this year.
Campbell throws a pass to Randle El but is looking the other way. I know that's not terribly unusual (misdirection, whatever) but I think Campbell does it better than a lot of quarterbacks.
The Giants REALLY have to keep Burress and Shockey healthy... unless Anthony Mix is another Derrick Ward.
Campbell's starting to feel some pressure. Imagine if they'd been able to do this to Favre last week.
The Giants are acting like they're just running out the clock, but it's a little too soon for that. The Redskins aren't world-beaters but they have weapons on offense, you don't want to play games with them. But the defense is playing well, so maybe ask them to make a stop, which they've been doing all day.
Weird play choice - pass, and a short one. Aikman and Buck think it's a good move since they gain 8 yards for the punt, but I think I would've rather seen a run play and Washington burn their final time out.
The cameraman likes that blonde cheerleader. "Hey baby, how *you* doin'? Yeah, that was me, putting you on camera. Drinks? After the game? Sure..."
Can the Giants hold the lead?
Campbell starts looking like a rookie QB.
See, Washington calls a time out with a little less than 2 minutes to play, and they wouldn't have had that if the Giants had run the ball earlier. Next play, first down on a long pass to Santana Moss.
1:07, 2nd and 13, Campbell drops back and... Randle El! At the 2! This time Campbell spikes the ball and stops the clock with under a minute to play. Good game.
Coughlin looks silly calling a time out, but at least he got it in.
Note to self: do NOT say that Randle El is a good player when the Giants play the Redskins. He doesn't have huge numbers today but he's had some key plays.
A throw to the fullback? Huh? I always wonder why plays like that get called in these situations. I'm glad they did it (although from a fantasy perspective I would've preferred a Portis TD run) but it just feels like a wasted play.
And Portis... doesn't make it in! 20 seconds left! GIANTS WIN!

Week 3 vs WAS: Notes

2007-09-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

First Quarter:

Why are the Redskins wearing yellow?
Joe Buck, master of the obvious, points out that Eli is not the problem.
Burress starts which is nice, but hopefully he'll go all out.
I don't want to sound like I think its important, but the uniforms for the 'skins are bugging me. I'm color blind and I know that they look weird.
Portis looks good on his first run. Mixed emotions in this one: Portis is on my fantasy team (sorry to sound like Tony Kornheiser there).
Giants are last in 3rd down defense (among other categories).
Portis is just putting his head down and charging, and the Giants can't stop him. He's getting good blocking, much of it from former Jet Pete Kendall (smart move letting him go, Woody), but NYG still can't stop people.
Justin Tuck is a rare semi-bright spot on defense.
Mitchell dropped an interception. Steve S., listen up: tackling and catching. Work on it.
Giants finally stop somebody!
Now that Jake Plummer isn't playing any more, Jason Campbell holds the title of dorkiest moustache. But he has nothing on these guys.
Shockey makes a nice grab. Is it just me, or does he roll on the ground every time he makes a catch? This time he could've picked up more yards if he'd just, you know, run after the catch.
Here's a weird stat: NYG is second in the league in yards per carry. That's mostly with Derrick Ward. Of course, they aren't rushing that often. Ward, frankly, looks good. He plows through a bunch of guys, and the O-line is fairly solid. Not to beat a dead horse but if the defense could step up they could make something happen here.
Tynes has been good despite being horrendous in the pre-season.
Skins uniforms are throwbacks, and were designed by Vince Lombardi. Lombardi coached in Washington for one year and then passed away. Which means the team killed him? The helmets look like Green Bay's.
OK, I take back what I said about the O-line after letting Eli get hit, causing a fumble and an easy TD.
Again, I know it's repetitive, but Derrick Ward is doing a nice job with Brandon Jacobs out.
Burress should've made that catch. He was distracted by the defender, but it was a nice throw and he got his hands on it.
Ward misses a conversion on 3rd and 1. They could use a short yardage back. What happened to Droughns? Ward's been great but you can't expect him to magically turn into a superstar overnight.
Jason Campbell is quietly a very good runner. Aikman says that Portis is the best blocking running back in the league, he may be right. Janky-Spanky, baby.

Second Quarter:

There aren't really any personalities on this Giants team to rally behind. Shockey's a jerk who never lived up to his early promise, Eli's just too damn quiet, Strahan likes to shout at reporters, and Antonio Pierce is busy reading. It's chaotic, and Coughlin doesn't seem to know how to control them.
Another drop by Burress! If I'm Eli, I'm starting to get pissed. On a positive note, he had time to make a good throw.
Aikman: it's hard for a QB to get into a rhythm if receivers drop the ball, even if you're throwing well.
Aside: This show 'K-Ville' looks interesting.
Aaaaand... Santana Moss makes a nice catch on a long throw. This is what Burress is supposed to be doing.
You know, if the Redskins are going to score, could it at least be Portis who does it so I get some satisfaction?
Campbell threw to a wide open Chris Cooley; there were three Giant defenders who were 5 yards from the ball. When Cooley caught it they moved in towards him, but it was way too late.
Portis pulls a Shockey and spikes the ball. This one didn't look as bad as Shockey's. But wait: it was 5 yards, not 15. WEIRD.
I think the officiating is better during this game than last week. That's a very surface observation.
Another drop for Burress! Is this the injury?
And after the drop... Interception! Eli say: "Fuck!" Pretty easy lip-read.
Nice stop by Kiwanuka on 3rd and inches, grabbing Campbell's foot while he hopped.

Quick Game Preview

2007-09-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

The Redskins' Jason Campbell isn't a worldbeater, but he's decent, the Giants' D looks awful, and Steve "What? Me Worry?" Spagnola plans to stay the course. Eli looks good but he's hurt. We'll go 24-21 Giants, but it could go the other way as well.

Giants Headlines

2007-09-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Reese and Coughlin Say Game Plans Are Same - you know, because things are going so well, which mess with success?
The Giants Dominate in Bookstores, if Not the N.F.C. East - when you finish with Patton, you can pick up one of these.
A game preview from the NY Times, and a depressing stat: last time a Coughlin team started 0-2 was 1995, and that team (the Jags) finished the season 4-12. An quick check of Giants history shows that the last time the team was 4-12 was 1980. Phil Simms was the QB. That ended up OK, but it was only his second season.

More history

2007-09-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

The Giants really have the edge in this series. According to RedskinsDB.com, from 1932 to 2006, the teams have played 150 times. New York has won 85 of those games, lost 61, with 4 ties. Not bad.
RedskinsDB.com

From 1966 to today (well, Sunday)

2007-09-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

As NY prepares for the Redskins, let's recall a game from 40 years ago. The Redskins won, but the Giants scored 41 points. Unfortunately, the Skins scored 71. It was the highest scoring game in pro football history, and apparently some players have yet to let the game go:

Sam Huff, the Redskins' defensive captain, insists to this day that he signaled time out to the referees and told his coach, Otto Graham, to send the field goal team into the game. With a goal of humiliating his nemesis, Giants' coach Allie Sherman, Huff implored Graham to "show no mercy."

OK, so it's not terribly controversial. The dispute appears to be over just who actually called that time out, which led to a field goal, putting the score over (ulp) 70 points. To say that the Giants defense doesn't look so good is, at this point, the understatement of the year, but they should be able to hold the Skins to fewer than 71 points.
Prediction: Giants get their first win of the year and stop the Skins from going 3-0. Final score: 24-21.

'66 Redskins-Giants: Who Called Time Out?

Give Griese a Chance

2007-09-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

Some foolishness for you.

See also: Even seven pound mini-daschund Bauer is tough enough to bring down the Bears QB, and Rex Grossman Sucks, which is way better than the video I made.

Notes for Saturday's update

2007-09-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

Here are some notes for the Saturday September 22 80108 update.

Hey reporters - watch yourselves, or Mike Strahan might eat a peanut butter sandwich at you.
Antonio Pierce, Michael Strahan get testy with media - NY Daily News
"Anybody can sit on the sideline and look at the bench and go, 'Oh.' That is crap. You know what? That is crap," Strahan railed. "It is just so disappointing to me when you guys had me come out here to answer questions and you ask stuff that is just. ...Be creative. That is crap. Coach (Tom Coughlin) answered it. Don't ask me what you asked Coach. I am not Coach."

That's our Mikey. Always so articulate.
Video from last year, when they were 6-5. What happens if they get to 0-3, or worse?

Some players on the Giants read. Some don't.
Giants' shredded defense wants to turn page: Newsday

Linebacker Antonio Pierce jovially apologized to reporters for not talking in advance of Sunday's game at Washington, saying, among other things, in an entertaining 10-minute news conference, that his time had been spent reading a book by Gen. George S. Patton.

"I have a lot of notes from it," said Pierce, one of the team captains. "Just the way he went about his business as far as inspiring the troops and everything else."

But...

Pierce said the book had been read by the entire defense - The Big Blue Book Club? - though his tone and half-grin during much of the interview suggested some exaggeration.

"Whatever he said, I'm sticking to it," defensive tackle Barry Cofield said with a laugh. "I haven't read a book since elementary school."

An unlikely scenario for the Northwestern graduate, though Cofield turned serious when talking about defensive players' attitudes heading to Washington. "You gotta be angry," Cofield said. "Being the worst defense, points-wise, in the league, that makes you angry. We have a lot of pride."