Week 12 vs Vikings - 1st half

• Aside: why is Fox the Frank Caliendo channel? I like impressionists but I'm getting really tired of Frank. Maybe when his TV show gets canceled they'll dump him, or at least cut into his time a little bit.
• Also aside: Interesting Mort story on Countdown about colleges that may be looking to NFL assistants to fill their coaching vacancies. College football annoys me.
• Conventional wisdom says that this will be a big game for Eli. Could happen. Chester Taylor is averaging 5+ yards per carry. If the Vikings just keep on pounding it out, they'll run time off the clock and maybe E will have to make bigger than usual plays in order to score.
  
• Siragusa says Giants need to blitz to keep pressure on the Vikings and not let them run the ball effectively. Vikings' O-line is good, but Giants D-line "wants to pass rush," so they can't stop the run if they try to block the box.
  
• Aside: I'm glad Beyonce is getting some work. I was really worried about her.
• I don't care how cold it is, Giants Stadium is a great place to watch a football game. Not that I'm there.
• Tynes, you fucknut. All you do is kick and you can't even do that right. Out of bounds, putting MIN on the 40. NY was also offsides - on the kickoff - but they were spared the extra 5 yards.
  
• OK, maybe they can block the box. Giants just pushed Taylor back for a 1 yard gain.
• WOW. What the hell was that? Sydney Rice with the big reception. That's not what they were supposed to do. Tell me they didn't just fake out the defense with a stupid play action... oh. Yes. That's what they did.
  
• Aside: this Onstar commercial is enough to scare you into buying the service. Fuckers.
• So 41 seconds in, it's 7-0 Vikings. I blame Tynes. And the Giants defense thinking they're too good. The one thing nobody ever remembers when predicting Giant games is all the penalties and dumb mistakes, like the kicker booting the ball out of bounds on the opening kickoff.
  
• Nice return from Bradshaw, a rookie.
• There you go. Reuben. Sometimes I know what I'm talking about.
• Good catch Shock! He jumped! Amazing.
• I need to look up Shockey's yards after the catch stat. Gotta be like 4 yards. He never runs.
  
• New t-shirt for Burress: no practice, no problem.
• This is what you want to see. Move the ball, move the ball, move the ball. Pass, run, pass, pass, run, all forward movement.
• Droughns is a good running back. He's big, runs hard, and is just tough to stop. #1 run defense. Fuck that.
• What was Eli throwing to? The play was blown dead but he panicked. "Half the distance to the goal" is about ten feet, but I'll take the first down.
  
• Droughns leaps in for the TD. Nice.
• See, this is what you do. They score, you answer, quickly. Nothing fancy, just showing that you can play. Clearly having Guy Whimper in as an extra blocker did the trick.
• Aside: Wanda Sykes should do more ads. I like her. She almost makes me think Applebee's isn't completely disgusting.
• Hm, yes, Fox announcing team. This is different than you all thought it would be. Giants ran the ball, Vikings threw it. FASCINATING.
• How did the Giants not recover that fumble? Good sack but now the Vikings actually gain yardage on that one.
• Tavaris Jackson is a funny one. He doesn't seem to be very good but the team likes him, and he's being pushed as a future star. He's 4-2 as a starter, which isn't bad at all, but he has almost no passing yards.
  
• ANOTHER penalty?
• There we go. That's the other thing good teams do - stop the other team from scoring.
• Tynes: pay attention. That's how you kick. Pin them behind the ten. OK? Put down the haggis and start kicking better.
• INTERCEPTION! What the hell was that? This is not good. Eli threw the ball to a Viking. Shockey didn't even turn around. So who's fault was that? Shockey's, but Eli shouldn't have thrown the ball his way. It's not all about trust, Eli.
• Thanks for reminding us of the game 2 years ago, guys. Darren Sharper got 3 INTs. Now he has one that he's returned for a TD. In the first quarter. Fuck you.
• I don't want to give succor to the enemy but the Viking Kittens are a classic.
• THAT was a good play. Eli pumps, stops, pulls back, then hits Toomah for a first. He had time, but he also allowed himself to take the time.
• That pass to Toomer was the longest completion Manning has made in 5 games? 31 yards. That's Plax not being 100%. He's the big play dude.
• I'm not sure if S. Moss fell fown there or if Eli overthrew him. Yep, it was Moss.
• What was that? You're down by 7 points and you go for it on 4th and 5? Toomer and Shockey were both open but Eli threw to an imaginary receiver. I know that they run these routes, and the QB expects them to be in certain spots, but doesn't he look first?
  
• OW. Big sack by Robbins. He just picked up Tavaris Jackson and planted him in the ground.
• What was the penalty? Illegal Contact. Nowhere near the play. So a great sack turns into a first down by penalty. That's a stat the Giants would lead the league in.
• Taylor and Droughns are a lot alike. Backups, decent players if they start. Pounders. Just keep hitting and running and you'll get a few yards.
• Peterson seems like a good dude. Like he wants to be a star and has star quality.
• ANOTHER INT? There's a flag. But it's against the Giants so it doesn't matter. This is really embarrassing. Eli is playing like crap but the illegal formation isn't his fault.
• Chester Taylor, TD. That was fucking ridiculous. The Giants just kept not finishing the tackle, and Taylor didn't give up.
• The Vikings are on their way to becoming one of "those teams" for Eli Manning. Stat: 6 quarters against them, Eli has 6 INTs. That's baaaaad.
• See, maybe they should've listened to me. Run the ball. Look, 14 of the 21 points the Vikings have are the result of interceptions. So OK, you can't run the ball against these guys. So what?
• Droughns gets some praise for his blocking ability. Great but it's still a 14 point game.
• This is turning into one of those "why am I watching it" games.
• Giants play the Bears next week. That's a chance to win, I guess. Of course, so was this week.
• One bright spot: this guy Bradshaw seems to be a decent return man.
• Hey! Steve Spagnola! Stop hugging Brad Childress!
• OK, here's the Eli 2 minute drill. Let's see it. This is something he can usually do and now would be a good time.
• Coughster: now is not the time to go to the run. Should've established it earlier. Might be too late now.
• Toomah. Dropped the pass. Bad.
• Not "a great effort from Jeremy Shockey"? How can you say that? He's the hardest working TE in the NFL!
• Penalty, Chris Snee. Coughlin's son in law. Figures.
• What can you say? Right now, they stink.
• 45 seconds left in the half. Let's see if there's any gas in the tank or if it's all between Coughlin's ears.
• Manning just had a bucket of time and he did nothing. Was there no one open? Did he get rattled? They look like a high school team.
• And SHOCKEY drops it. Tough catch but he could've gotten it. If the team isn't completely out of sync he probably does.
• That was pathetic. Eli either misses his spots, or if he hits the receiver, he drops the ball. Lots of chances to do better but they aren't taking them.
  

Week 12 Vs Vikes - Pregame

Pre-game predictions:

• I'll go out on a limb here and say that Droughns might have a good day against the Vikings' #1 run defense. It could be that they're #1 because you can throw against them all day. If they give Reub 20-plus carries, he should be good. He's a pound-away type of guy, without the burst and flash that Jacobs gives you sometimes. You can get him down, but he'll get up and run again.
  
• If I'm right about the above, then Eli puts up modest numbers again. If they keep winning, I don't really care, but there are a lot of people who want to see Eli justify his number one pick-ness. Me, I'll take wins.
• Chester Taylor will rush for enough yards to justify people (um, me) starting him in fantasy formats. Adrian Peterson is having an MRI on Monday but ESPN quotes coach Brad Childress as saying that if it were a playoff game, Peterson would play. Good move, although if (when?) the Vikings lose today they aren't all that likely to make the playoffs. Even if they do make the postseason they aren't going anywhere, so why risk injury to a guy who looks like he could be one of the great RBs?

Almost game-time, be right back.

Why the Lions scare you

Here's why the Lions scare you - they have nothing to lose. Sure, Kitna said that DET would win 10 games but nobody believed him. Yes, if they lost every game from here on out that would be a bit of a disappointment. But they've already done better than last year, and the team looks pretty good.
This "who gives a fuck" attitude is what brings about the plays like that almost-nailed-it hail mary at the end of the 1st half. If that play works, the Giants are very unhappy going into the locker room. As it is, it's a 7 point game.

Week 11 vs Lions - 2nd half

• Kept 'em to a field goal, which is good. The Lions are talking shots downfield though, and at some point one of those will work.
  
• FUMBLE! AGAIN! The Lions are the league leader in takeaways but I don't care, you gotta hold onto the ball, guys.
• And Kitna hits Williams for a 19 yard gain. Grrrr.
• DET is running the ball well, too.
• This Roy Williams is good. That was a nice play too - Williams didn't do anything, just stood there near the line with no Giants paying any attention to him. Kitna hits him, then he gets the 1st down and more.
  
• The Giants are starting to play harder but the tackles aren't happening the way they should. On two different plays, a DET WR was 1/2 tackled but kept going when the NY defender didn't actually bring him down.
  
• 52 yard field goal fails, because it's tipped by Robinson. That, you like to see.
• Oh shit, Jacobs is limping off the field. And Plax is clearly hurting. Is it the coach's fault when everyone seems to get injured so easily? Conditioning? Maybe.
• WOW. Tynes makes a 46 yard field goal. Maybe he's not as bad as he looked at the beginning of the season.
• Guys, I don't really want to discuss what's down Brandon Jacobs' pants. Looking at the replay it looks like he hit his knee, maybe.
• "Jacobs will not return to the game today." Maybe they can sign Ricky Williams?
  
• Watching this you can see how the Lions are second to only the Patriots in receiving yards.
• INTERCEPTION! By the Giants. Finally. They were supposed to be doing that to Kitna all day.
• Shaun Rogers is really big.
• Aside: at the moment, Vinny Testaverde has more passing yards than Peyton Manning. That makes sense.
• Scary stat: Eli has the same record as Peyton over the same number of games. Creepy.
• Eli is playing fairly well.
• Burress finally makes a nice catch. Dude has long arms.
• You can see where this offense really loses a lot without Jacobs on the field. At the moment things are going well enough, it's 16-3 with 7 minutes to play.
• Aside: If I'm watching from the sidelines, I don't really want to stand behind Tony Siragusa.
• SHIT! TD, Calvin Johnson. This is what I was talking about, people. Cough. Call me.
• Manning gets stuffed much too easily. FWIW, the DET defense does look good but the Giants should be able to stop them better than they have been.
• OK I'm as critical of the Giants' penalties as anyone - maybe more than anyone - but that "intentional" attacking of Kitna's legs was a bullshit call.
• That's what I'm talking about! James Butler snags the big INT. There you go! Live by the big play, die by the big play.
• Something I've never understood is the idea of situational calling. "You can't make that call in that situation." Well, the call is the call, isn't it? Do you have rules or not?
• This is the big stand by the Giants defense. Strahan needs to step up. He's actually having a good game, with three sacks so far.
• Hey, a penalty on the Lions! Whoo-hoo!
• How many receivers do the Lions have, fifteen? It's like there's someone open everywhere. They're going to make this interesting.
• Sam Madison! Interception! That's it! Fuck yeah! Motor city meatheads! Mike Martz makes me mopey (if I'm a DET fan)!
  

Week 11 vs Lions - 1st half

Here's your simple stat for the game today: The Lions are 6-3. So are the Giants. This is, indeed, Bizarro NFL.

• That's quite a dramatic entrance the Lion make onto Ford Field. I don't know if I'm right about this but I think that the Chicago Bulls are responsible for all of these overblown dramatic entrances. "Yoooouuurrr ChiCAgo BULLLLSSS!!!!!"
• Rod Marinelli tells his team: "You have earned the right to play a meaningful game in November." Sheesh.
• I can't deal with this phrase: "The Lions are on [the Giants'] level." I just can't. I'm sorry.
• With DeWayne White out, maybe Tony Siragusa can fill in.
• This is actually a meaningful game, don't forget. I'm talking to Eli, not you.
• The Lions had -18 rushing yards last week. Really. NEGATIVE EIGHTEEN. If NY can't stop them that's verrrry bad.
• Ow. That looks like it hurt.
• That's what I'm talking about. The Lions trying to run the ball and getting stuffed. Let's do it.
• Maybe it's just me, but I think Mike Martz is nuts.
• Um, or not. So the Lions are running the ball well. Oh shit, Kiwanuka is shaken up. Down. Is he getting up? That looks like it hurt. Oboy. He's not even putting weight on the ankle. It's been less than a minute and two guys are out, 1 Lion, 1 Giant.
  
• That's it Strahan. Earn your money.
• See that? Kitna waited until the clock was almost at zero, then he started the play. Before it got to zero. Not after.
• NICE tackle to keep the Lions from getting a first down.
• OK, NY is playing so-so. It's early but these teams look more evenly matched than I'd like.
• The knock on Brandon Jacobs is that he's so big he'll spend a lot of time injured. Maybe. But man, when he's on, he's really good. A Lion tackler just ran into him and literally bounced off. It was like a VW Bug hitting a Hummer.
• Some good plays, some not so good plays. At least Tynes hit the FG.
• 4th and 19. Let's see a lot of that today.
• Well, there's a penalty. I knew it was too good to last.
• Coughlin's starting to pout... arms will flap soon...
• Hey, that was a nice little pass Eli made to Sinorice Moss. Lots of people think the Giants need to open up the field and use the 3rd receiver more often, maybe they will.
• Another catch by Moss, but... SHIT! He fumbles. I guess it was a "strip" but it was also a "drop."
• OK, we got it back quickly. I would've liked the Giants to score some big points here, get some confidence back.
  
• They seem to be moving a little more quickly than they were last week, although you really need to just get the hell onto the field when the time comes.
  
• Good run and slide by Eli to get the 1st.
• Strong plus for the day so far: Eli hitting different receivers (7 so far).
• Whether or not Jacobs ends up a great RB, he definitely is a guy who plays hard and with some heart. He's stopped, but he doesn't give up, he tries again and at least gets a yard.
• I don't like these flips to Jacobs but they seem to be working so I won't complain. Well, I will when they don't work.
• Chris Snee with the false start! Questionable call but they made it.
• Shockey has... nothing. Shit. He was close but he got stopped. Without the penalty they would've been fine.
• Here's the Lions offense for you: when it works, its amazing. They make it look like the other team isn't even playing. But it doesn't always work, and when it doesn't, they look like a high school team.
• Wait, what? He was tackled, right? McDonald? You know what, I don't think his knee hit the ground. Cough is challenging but I don't think it'll work. FINISH THE TACKLE AND THIS IS NOT AN ISSUE.
• Oh wow, Coughlin won the challenge. That's a nice surprise. I'll take it but I don't think he was right.
• Marinelli's pissed and I don't blame him. Hopefully this won't energize the team and get them mad enough to start playing better.
• You don't need to be a lip reader to know what Roddy M is saying.
• I hope Plax isn't losing a step. He clearly is, though. Fox guys say he's not getting to his spots, which seems to be true.
• HOWEVER, if S. Moss and the Shockster can step up, we'll be OK.
• That pass was Eli's fault. Too short. Plax got back to it but it wasn't worth much.
• Not much time guys...
• Toomer gets out of bounds to stop the clock. 33 secs left, 3 & 1, DET 13 yard line.
• QB sneak to get the first down, then a quick time out. Three seconds total. OK, that's good.
• Nice jump by Jacobs to get the TD! Love it. That was on a little toss to him. The one I don't like. Well, fuck it, I'm not the coach.
• End of the first half. Looked bad for awhile there but it ended well.
  

The Giants Owe MLB and the Knicks A Nice Chanukah Gift

I'm watching ESPN do their Kent Brockman impression ("The Lincoln Squirrel has been shot! We'll stay with this story all night if we have to.") with their coverage of the Barry Bonds indictment and A-Rod's signing with the Yankees. And I'm thinking that the Giants really need to send a nice fruit basket to Bud Selig, Scott Boras, and the rest of the nitwits in Major League Baseball. And let's not forget the Isiah and Stephon show. Why should they do this? Well, after Sunday's embarrassing loss to Dallas, which basically ensured that the team will not win their division and will be playing for a wild card spot, Eli Manning had this to say:

Q: How do you handle the criticism? Six weeks you don’t hear many negative comments, and then yesterday, everybody says you are to blame. How does that affect you as a person? Or do you try not to listen to it?

A: I don’t listen to it. I’m not the one to blame for a loss. You are going to lose games, that’s part of football. It’s just about learning from the mistakes, seeing what you are doing well and going into the next week with a good attitude that you if you win that one, you are back in a good spot and everything will be fine again.

As well-adjusted as that statement is psychologically, it's really not what you want to hear from your franchise quarterback, especially not one that you gave up so much for. Should he commit hari-kiri in front of the press corps? No, but how do you have multiple delay of game penalties and then say "it's not my fault"?

To be fair, he did say, "I have to do a better job getting to the line of scrimmage, getting everything called quicker and getting the ball snapped." And these stupid penalties have been a hallmark of the Coughlin Discpline Era.

As for Tommy C, he's "more than perplexed" about the delay of game calls. He doesn't know what happened. Well, that's encouraging.

Back to the original point. All of this other stuff gives sports radio hosts, columnists and fans something else to focus on other than the ludicrously bad play of the New York Football Giants last week. The fact that the team has consistently fallen apart in the second half of the season for the past three years (8-16, all under Coughlin).

So get those wish lists ready Bud, Bonds, Boras and the rest. You may be getting a little something from Eli this holiday season!

Week 10 vs Cowboys - 2nd half

• And the 2nd half starts with a blow to the face from the Cowboys. Wow. I guess they watched film of the Week 1 game and decided to emulate the Giants.
• Apparently the Cowboys said they were going to double cover Shockey on every play. NOT WORKING!
• Before NY tied it up with the FG, the update was going to be "The Giants need a big play to get the lead back." But that's still what they need.
  
• OK, Tony Romo looks too damn happy. Somebody smack him in that dopey smile of his.
• Aside: it'll kill fantasy players but most teams are going to be going with a 2 or even a 3 back system. It works. I don't know why but it seems to work. You need two backs that are good, of course.
• Crayton again? Dammit.
• Still tied. On the surface these teams aren't really that evenly matched but in reality they are. DAL has the edge on receivers, NYG has the edge on defense, running game is a draw (maybe a little edge to DAL). QB you'd say Romo but Eli's good too.
  
• OK, so they got Witten's number today but Crayton is having a field day. What the hell?
• FUCK! Really great pass from Romo to Owens. Sam Madison blows the coverage. That's the big play that the Giants haven't made today.
• Whoah. That was some return by Bradshaw for the Giants. But it's coming back - holding on the Giants. A backup Tight End. Why? Why? Why?
• Shockey is having an incredible day. 11 catches so far. He still falls down whenever he catches the ball but if he catches it this much it's not that big a deal.
• Not a Toomer? Oh, but it is a Toomer. 23 yard catch right over the middle.
• OK, this is a nice drive so far.
• Droughns gets the first down. He's kind of a poor man's Jerome Bettis.
• Weird pass to Toomer doesn't quite make it in.
• Jacobs pounds it in... but there's a holding penalty and it gets called back.
  
• Delay of game? DELAY OF GAME????? Eli's been cutting it way too close all game. Now they're back at the 16 yard line.
  
• Please don't let this be the beginning of the Giants Second Half of the Season Meltdown.
• A nice drive ends in a pile of penalties and a FG instead of a TD. Tom Coughlin looks like he's about to start flapping his arms again. Don't do it Tom! Keep it together! Remember, the "we're not thinking" penalties are YOUR fault, not theirs.
• Romo moves away from Kiwanuka and manages to get a pass off, which falls incomplete. Still, it's not a sack and he didn't fall apart under pressure.
• I think it's safe to say that these two teams dislike each other quite a bit.
• Hands to the face, NY. Look at that. So sloppy. No reason to put your hands there, man.
• Well, they have shut down Barber. And Witten. It's the rest of the team they need to start worrying about.
• Spoke too soon. There goes Barber who makes NY miss. Barber leads the league in breaking tackles (according to Aikman) and you can see why. The guy looks like he's solid muscle top to bottom.
• HUGE touchdown to TO. Well, that's not good.
• Now it looks more like the Giants team from Week 1. Confusion, blown coverages, bad plays, awful penalties. One more penalty and Coughlin might flap his arms so hard he flies away.
  
• Tank Johnson with a sack. Isn't he supposed to be in jail?
• Three and out. Need a big defensive play. They'd better have it in them or this game is ov-ah.
• The penalties are not only unforgivably bad, they seem to demoralize the team in a really bad way. This, again, is Coughlin's fault. Even Joe Schmuck is pointing out that under Coughlin's "discipline" approach, NY has been the most penalized team in the league.
  
• They are stopping Braber for the most part. But TO has 124 yards and 2 TDs.
• Lots of jawing between the two teams. Most of it doesn't result in penalties but the Giants could use a few more Dallas screw ups to get them the ball back with a short field.
• Aside: The Bengals win today but they definitely get the vote for most disappointing team. Their shot was a couple of years ago when Palmer got his knee blown out in the playoffs. Who knows what would've happened but I think they beat Pittsburgh then go on to win it all.
• False start? Dallas? Come on, ref, talk to me...Whoo-hoo! 5 yards, 1st down. We'll take it.
• Now Shockey's not making those catches. Oh wait, yes he is. First down. OK, I'll start mocking him again, it seems to help him play better. HEY! J-SCHMO! YOU BANGED TARA REID! SCHMENDRICK!
• Some anonymous white guy gets his first catch of the year, and Jacobs pounds his way to a first down. The guy plays hard.
• ANOTHER delay of game? Coughlin looks like he doesn't understand. I mean, it's Eli's fault but somehow I still blame Coughlin.
• Fourth and 4 and an incomplete pass. That's it. The delay of game penalty did them in. That's really pathetic. It's not so late in the game that Dallas can run out the clock but it's close. Now they try to hold the game with time outs.
• It was all going so well. Aikman hits it right on the head - how will the team come off of this loss? I have no idea what Coughlin is like in the locker room but he doesn't appear to know the right things to say to get the Giants to push this kind of stuff off, get past it and win the next game.
• T.O. is a great receiver, but if you watch him shouting after big plays (or small plays), I really think he might be mentally ill.
• Joe Schmuck is blaming it all on Eli but he seems to be forgetting the rest of the team. Yes, Eli screwed up more than once, and fell apart in the second half. But so did everybody else. And ultimately, the fish stinks from the head - Coughlin, Coughlin, Coughlin.