Pre-pre-game:
- Who knew "pissed off" was a bad thing to say on live TV? (Bettis said it and Costas got a little fitutzed).
- Aside: shouldn't fitutzed have more than 5 matches on Google?
- OK, somebody's got to say it: Tiki Barber is funny-looking.
- Tiki says of Ray Lewis: "He's not a young buck anymore." First of all, I don't like to refer to people who've spent time in prison in a derogatory way. Second, Collinsworth says that, it's a scandal (not to mention creepy as hell). Third, will people please stop asking Tiki if he wants to play football again? Enough! He retired. Who do you think he is, Brett Favre? (this guy really doesn't like Packers fans.)
Pre-game:
- Madden says that Eli and The Cough think it's all about pass protection. Great minds thinking alike.
- Michael Strahan says the Giants/Eagles rivalry is like NASCAR, proving that it's a damn good thing he found football, because he's really just not that bright.
- Westbrook is out, which is good. On a personal note, I dropped Buckhalter from my fantasy roster, which was dumb.
- Ward is in, which is very good because he's been solid.
- Reuben Droughns, back to receive the kickoff, has a completely blank look on his face.
- Eli hands off to Ward on the first play and Derrick busts through a bunch of guys. For a backup, this guy is damn good. Of course, the gain is immediately eliminated by a holding penalty. The Cough is all about discipline.
- Broderick Bunkley is a good name for an NFL player. Or a cartoon truck.
- 3 and out, but hey, the Colts do that a lot too. Maybe Eli's really just trying to be like Peyton.
- Philly D is decimated - no Dawkins, no Sheppard, and now some guy named Brown goes out too.
- Nice aggressive play by Antonio Pierce, going after McNabb on his first play.
- Michael Strahan looks too happy. As if it's allll about him.
- And McNabb goes down! Justin Tuck gets a sack. This guy is good.
- Now Madden starts blowing smoke up Steve Spagnolo's heinie. One good series and the guy's a hero? Come on. I guess he missed out on the lathering up of Brett Favre's butt cheeks so he's got some praising to do.
- Eli to Toomer. Amani seems like he's really old. Born in 1974, which makes him 33. That's old for the NFL, but he somehow seems like he's 45 or something.
- Madden and Al lather up Derrick Ward too, but that's OK, he deserves it.
- Toomer again. When he's on his game, the team seems better.
- Eli seems to have more time, and appears to be seeing the field better. The Eagles do have a ton of injured defensive players, though, so let's not hand out trophies yet.
- Hey! A penalty not committed by the Giants!
- Burress gets an easy catch. The fact that he's playing at all is impressive since he has a sprained ankle.
- Ward again, with some yards after the catch for a first down.
- BUT they don't make it to the end zone, and Tynes misses a 34 yard field goal!
- Harry Carson and Lawrence Taylor. LT still looks like he could break a QBs arm if he wanted to.
- Buckhalter! Dammit!
- Madden explains why the great Steve's scheme actually hurts them. Make up your mind, John!
- If they can make this stop (3rd and 2) I'll be impressed.
- And.... nope. Buckhalter. Again. By the way, I started Ron Dayne in my fantasy league rather than taking a chance on whether or not Westbrook would play. So Dayne fucks with a Giants fan, you know, for old times' sake.
- Kevin Curtis seems unlikely to repeat last week's insanely high number of yards and TDs.
- Strahan comes close to a sack, but McNabb gets rid of it in time. Then Osi nails him.
- Is it just me, or do the Giants seem not to tackle that hard?
- Here comes the Favre parade. They put his numbers up next to Griese's, which seems odd. Are we really comparing these two?
- The Cough looks like he'd rather be watching the game at home.
- Nice jump by Ward. It's always impressive when guys this large can leap over other, equally large guys.
- WOW. Another penalty not against New York, this time giving them a first down.
- Ward has become a huge part of this offense. He's handling it, but there's something troubling about it that I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's because it means that when the star RB went down, Cough and Co. just plugged the new guy into the game plan. It worked, but what if it hadn't?
- Eli just misses Burress on a long toss, or Burress drops it, depending on your point of view.
- There's a penalty on the Giants. Back to normal.
- But they get it back. What's going on here? The full moon was last week.
- Eli's definitely showing Peyton-like emotion. So he's either trying to get the team fired up, or making an audition reel for his commercial agent.
- Yes, this did say Week 3 a minute ago. I fucked up. It happens.
- I'm not going to track it closely enough but I wonder if all these Philly penalties are being made by the substitutes.
- Toomer Toomer Toomer. Good.
- Graphic showing Eli's progress is interesting. He has gotten better.
- PLAX TD! Man he's big. He looks a foot taller than the Eagles' defenders. And Tynes even kicked the extra point. 7-0.
- False start on McNabb. Niiiiice.
- Strahan gets beat by Jon Runyan, who looks like he's about as big as Paul Bunyan.
- Osi's having a nice game.
- See, there's another non-tackle. Grabbing McNabb's jersey, and then he (McNabb) gets it off to Reno Mahe for a first down. Speed is great but you gotta tackle too.
- Strahan gets his sack. For real. Breaks the record. LT actually doesn't look too happy about it. I like LT in that fight.
- Now here's an interesting stat: LT played a full year before the sack was an official stat. So he should really have 9 1/2 (?) more sacks than Strahan. Asterisk time - somebody call Marc Ecko.
- Madden gives props to Taylor, which is deserved. "Best defensive player I've seen at any position."
- McNabb looks like he might throw up again.
- Normally I like it when a player looks like he's having a good time, but Strahan's joy bothers me.
- Akers misses a field goal, just to keep things even with Tynes. I played Akers instead of Robbie "I'm not Jewish" Gould on the fantasy team, which was stooopid. Interesting stat, Akers misses a lot at the Meadowlands.
- Why are tight ends almost always large white guys who look like they can barely tie their own shoes?
- Did I mention I liked Derrick Ward? Madden likes him too. We're both geniuses.
- ANOTHER Eagles penalty. This is much more fun when it happens to the other team.
- Ward again, with a first down and a leap at the end for good measure.
- INT! What??? How'd that happen? Oh. It's because Shockey fell down.
- J.Load appears to be consoling Eli, or just trying to get seen on camera. Eli looks mad. I want to see him get all Drew Bledsoe on Shockey, that'd be good. (This has nothing to do with anything really, but it's a little bit amusing.)
- 10 penalties on the Eagles so far. 70 yards. That's the way you do it, Andy.
- And.... halftime. What a barn burner.
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