Week 17 vs PATS - 2nd half

• A knee in the end zone from the Pats to start the half. Interesting. New England is running out of gas a little bit here.
• Surprised to see Ben Watson, I thought he wasn't going to play. All Giants' 1st stringers are on the field.
• That was almost an amazing catch by Randy Moss. But he didn't and that's 3 and out, baby. Punches are starting to fly. This kind of puts the whole "meaningless game" business to rest. Both teams are playing as if this was the playoffs. And why not? They get paid to play, despite what commentators say.
• Lots of RBs are described as "running over people" but Jacobs literally does it. Dude is big. Suddenly, NY has a running game again. Cris Collinsworth drools over Madison Hedgecock, the fullback. Heh heh. Hedgecock.
• Touchdown Burress! Holy crap. 28-16. At some point even Belichik has to give it up, right? No way Coughie pulls starters at this point. You can't. Too close, too much momentum.
  
• Brady just looks like he has no idea Strahan, Pierce and the rest are trying to kill him. He's good. Nice throw to Watson for a first down there, then a big pickup for Welker. See, even if the Pats score here, they're still down by two scores. Nice moves by Welker there for another 1st. Brady avoids some defenders but NY gets flagged with an interference call, which ain't good. Puts the Pats on the 1 yard line. Brady overthrows Vrabel, which might actually be a first - he usually catches those. Illegal formation penalty, which nobody seems to understand. Is it cuz Vrabel was in when he shouldn't have been? Don't matter cuz Maroney prances into the end zone to narrow the gap, 28-23.
• Let's play the Cris Collinsworth drinking game. "Unsung heroes" - take a drink.
  
• Big 1st down - Eli to Toomer. Oooo. Bad sack. Eli mostly just slipped on that one, he ran too far backwards. I do that in Madden some times. Of course, I'm not being paid a fortune to play. That makes it... 3rd and 22. U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, that's just ugleeee... Jacobs pounds out a few yards but it's not enough. Would've been without the sack.
• So if New England scores here, does Tommy C pull players and throw in the towel? I don't think so, although he's so weird, who knows. They stop Maroney for a loss. 3rd and 9, then 1st and 10. Everyone on the Pats plays hard and plays well. Play clock ran down; I thought maybe somebody jumped offsides but I guess not (or they did and nobody noticed).
  
• No 1st down that time. "A tad high," Cris? Come on.
• 3rd and 11, and the Giants don't convert. Neither team is doing much on offense right now. Bad throw by Brady, followed up by a really awful drop by Moss. He should've had that. Not easy, OK, but he would've waltzed right into the end zone. But then he does anyway on the next play. Ooops. And a two point conversion. And Brady breaks (Peyton) Manning's TD record. And Moss breaks Rice's record.
• Bad penalty for the Pats - 15 yards for hitting a player out of bounds. Nice run by Jacobs is coming back.
• Interception, 1st of the night for the Pats.
• That may have been it for any Giant momentum here. 38-28 Pats.
• Now the Pats are committing penalties for dumb things. How Shockey of them.
  
• 1st and goal, less than 2 minutes to go. Now is when the fact that they aren't well coached becomes a problem. They've wasted about 50 seconds on the last 2 plays.
• Touchdown #2 for Burress. FWIW, this is going to be down to the wire.
• That had to be Tynes' fault. Onside kicks aren't supposed to be in the air.
• No moral victories but the Giants played damn well tonight. That's it. Next week in Tampa Bay.
  

Week 17 vs PATS - 1st half

• Collinsworth says something really dopey: the 72 Dolphins "don't talk about their individual accomplishments," they talk about what they did as a team. It was 1972. Enough already. Get over it. Yes, it was a good thing. But it was over thirty years ago.
• Bradshaw and J-Load are inactive. Glad I picked up TJ Duckett in fantasy.
• No J-Load means more Eli? I don't know. They have Anthony Wright too, who at least has played before.
  
• Wow. What an honest and unrehearsed statement from Roger Goodell. Hey Roger, my toaster called, he wants his personality back.
• Lots of starters in. Jacobs running full out makes me a little nervous in terms of playoff readiness but I guess Tom knows what he's doing. (Ha ha.)
• NICE catch from Burress. That'll get the crowd going. Burress is so much bigger than Ellis Hobbs that was almost a joke. Then Steve Smith drops a pass, and Coughlin threw the flag. Why? You have momentum, but the ball popped out. BUT it popped out out of bounds. I don't know what the rule is on that. Hopefully Tom does although this may be one of those blustery Tommy C decisions. Yes, that's what it was - challenge failed. Steve Smith stinks. Coughlin stinks.
  
• Burress gets another one. Hey, maybe practicing is OK. First down. Brady does not look happy.
• Nice play by BJ - catch, run, stretch, touchdown. Pats look a little shocked.
• Tynes makes me nervous every time he kicks. Did I mention that?
• So now the Pats start marching down the field. I know there are no moral victories, blah blah blah, but if the Giants can keep pace scoring-wise with the Patriots and lose, I think that's not bad. Winning would be better of course.
• 4th and 2 and they go for it... and make it.
• Held 'em to a field goal. Hm. We got a game here.
• Interesting. The thought is that Brady will try to feed the ball to Moss to get the record "out of the way" as early as possible. So the Giants double and triple covered Moss. And it worked. Hmmmm.
• Toomer drops a pass. 41st of the year, says MumbleGumble, and it's Feagles' time. Not good. How do you drop that many passes?
  
• Brady's definitely feeling the burn from the Giants' pass rush. He's thrown the ball away a couple of times, which I think is unusual for him. If this were a Joe Torre team he would say that the Patriots were "pressing" and the Giants were "just having fun."
• I don't think Maroney is the great running back that NE wants him to be. Hey - that was some sack on Brady. Penalty flag is... illegal contact?!?!? Automatic first down?!??!? More like Illegal Patriots Might Lose.
• So what are the Giants doing well? Defense: stopping the run (Pats can't get anything going), and pressuring the QB; Brady has been fitutzed since the start of the game. Randy Moss is down, what's up? Ooo, nasty hit, but Moss ran into the defender. I kind of don't want Moss to break Jerry Rice's record. I don't care a lot but if I have to pick, I'll go with Rice. But then Moss is back in on the next play, and catches a touchdown. League scoring record broken, Brady ties Manning, and Moss ties Rice. This is why the Patriots are a scary team, they can do shit like that. As for the excessive celebration penalty, fuck you refs. I'm not a Moss fan but that wasn't exactly a major penalty. The ref imitating it for Bill B and Moss was almost worth it.
• Giants run one in on the kickoff. Belichik just popped a Rolaids.
  
• Maroney runs through a Giant hole in the line (pun intended). Is this where the Giants fall apart? Not yet guys, you got 'em on the run.
• Now they've remember how to tackle. They just forgot for a few plays.
• Why are they showing Tom Brady in his underwear? Oh, it's from the combine. Still, why the beefcake shots?
• Either Welker is damn good or the Giants keep not finishing their tackles with him. Or both. In the words of the great Homer Simpson, it can be two things.
• STOPPED! Field goal is... good. 14-13. Nobody's messing around in this game.
  
• For no reason I can give you, I have a feeling Kevin Boss is a good Tight End, maybe as good as Shockey. Why are so many tight ends enormous dumb-looking white guys? Then Rodney Harrison knocks down a pass meant for Boss. That was a bad choice of play, Harrison was there from the beginning.
• Giants are definitely giving the Pats a game here, which indicates several things. One of them is that they weren't playing up to their potential in some other games this season. Although Baltimore and Philly played probably their best games of the year against the Pats, despite losing. If nothing else, the Giants will give Tampa Bay a hard time and maybe even win.
  
• Ha ha. Tried to hit Moss to get the double record, but NO. Ha ha. Another field goal. Nasty stat though: Pats have had the ball more than twice as long as New York.
• Hot damn. Great play by Eli, running around, avoiding tacklers, hitting Kevin Boss for 23 yards. Then Shaun O'Hara (center) goes down after getting nicked by one of his own teammates. Another enormous lineman comes in, we'll see what happens. Toomer makes a decent catch - hell, he makes a catch - for another first down. Then a toss to Jacobs who pushes forward for another first down. Time running out guys... now Jacobs and Seau are fighting, which runs about 10 seconds off the clock and makes the Giants call their last timeout. Wilfork poked Jacobs in the eye. OK, here's the penalty... wait for it... NOT charged with the time out. This guy Carey (I think that's his name) is my favorite ref to watch. Maybe this is the way the Pats fight - a little dirty, not with big punches but with little pokes when nobody's looking.
• And Eli takes off, running to the 4 yard line, getting a first down, calling time out... That looked good, man, I have to say. Tom Brady looks really unhappy. He might need to get a new supermodel girlfriend to cheer himself up. Especially now, after Manning throws ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN to everyone's new favorite player, Kevin Boss. Jeremy who?
• Now there's an interesting shot - Matt Cassel warming up on the sidelines. Do they pull Brady if they're still behind after three quarters?
  

Week 16 vs BUF-2nd Half

• Eli throws a pick and the Bills get a quick and easy TD. What no one is saying is that Trent Edwards is outplaying Manning big time. Sick. Again, why isn't Jacobs running more? Now he is but that's after the INT. So again the coaches are reacting rather than making good calls based on being smart. Of course now Jacobs seems to be hurt.
  
• Burress almost makes an amazing catch but it ends up in a (dumb) penalty.
• Here's a thought: the Giants have had multiple runner do very well this year. Maybe the O-line makes holes well. Like the Texans, or the Broncos (sometimes). Bradshaw, a backup RB, makes some nice runs. Suddenly Eli is mostly handing the ball off. And it's working. Let's see how long it lasts. Now Droughns gets it twice but isn't getting it done. So they try Bradshaw, and... no dice. They go for it from 4th and a half yard, making the Bills burn a time out to prepare. I guess it worked, cuz they stopped the Giants easily. Dammit.
• 3rd and 9, Bills pinned back after NY fails to convert on 4th and .0001. 4 minutes left to go in the 3rd quarter. Giants can still back into the playoffs but that's not really the goal here. Jacobs is back in and busts a first down right away.
• This is a scary statement: "that's the first time we saw something different that the Giants put in." You mean the play calling on this team isn't creative? You don't say? Jacobs gets stopped on 2nd and 1.
• Another time out? Why? And after... a fumbled snap. "Self-destruct" say the TV guys. Oh yeah. It looked like Eli took a dump and out came a ball. He STINKS. 3rd turnover. They're facing the direction where all the points have gotten scored. Giants are -12 in turnovers, according to Fox. Well that INTERCEPTION!!! made the ratio a bit better. OH YEAH! That was just dumb luck but at least he got it into the end zone. 24-21.
• Lynch breaks 1000 yards in his rookie season. This still isn't a good team, the Bills. The Giants aren't either. They are doing a halfway decent job of stopping Lynch, however.
  
• "Barry Cofield does not get fooled on screen passes." Ah, with those immortal words, we will go all the way to a Super Bowl victory.
• Good stop. Almost a penalty but he got away with it. For once.
• Now Bradshaw picks up 5 yards for the Giants. Don't matter, NY goes nowhere. Then there's an INT that wasn't (bounced out of Butler's hands, karma in action for the pass intereference call that didn't get flagged.) And a fumble that NY can't come up with. The D is mostly playing well, especially the past few series. They're not able to make those big plays when they need to. The ball and the field are clearly soaking wet, but since they knew what the weather was going to be like, they should've prepped better.
  
• Why on Earth are the Giants throwing? It's hailing. Is that the time to go to the pass? Tom? Kevin? Bueller? Anyone?
• "Throwin' into the wind... Yes we'll be throwin'... throwin' into the wind..."
• Bills are going the wrong way, Fox points out. How the hell do you play in this weather? You could run, but that would make sense. More importantly, how does anyone live in Buffalo? Seattle has a higher suicide rate? Why?
• Bradshaw? BRADSHAW? BRADSHAW!!!!!!!! 88 yard TD, 3rd longest in Giants history, which is pretty impressive. He has 131 yards, Jacobs has 145. Will this show the Giants that they need to run the ball? Sure, when Ann Coulter converts to Judaism.
• Whoah. Another INT returned for a TD. By the Giants. No. Really. I mean it. Hey! Come back here! I'm not fucking with you, I'm completely serious. There, now do you believe me? Thank you. Sheesh.
• No Shockey, no problem.
• Eli is 7/15, 111 yds, no TDs, 2 INTs. But it doesn't make any difference because they're up by 3 scores, thanks to great running and a heads up defense. Tell me Fox didn't just miss an interception so they could show us Siragusa in the booth. Maybe everyone was dizzy from the smell. Of Siragusa. HA HA!
  
• Even in garbage time,
  
• This is so not a day to get doused in Gatorade. I wonder if anyone's ever gotten electrocuted?
  

Week 16 vs BUF-1st half

• Tynes kicks it out of bounds. The Bills start at the 40 yard line. If they don't get rid of this guy at the end of the season (or maybe by halftime) I may have to start rooting for the Jets. OK, that won't happen, but still.
• With Buffalo getting the ball to start the game (winning the toss), and then Tynes booting it out at the 1 yard line (did we mention he sucks?), they could start out with a quick score in what could end up a low-scoring game. Oy.
• Lynch is a good running back but you'd think the Giants would know that and be able to stop him. Or maybe sack the QB when he's on the run like he just was. But hey, why should they play well? The season is over, right? It was a hold, and the Bills get bounced back 10 yards. Edwards is almost sacked again but this time dumps it off to Lynch and he goes for a bunch of yards (30, if you're counting). The Giants thought he went out of bounds and the defense gave up on the play. This leads to an easy flip to a tight end for a TD. I blame: Tynes. Coughlin. Can't blame this one on Eli, guys.
• So now that the Bills did some passing, are we going to see the Giants try and do the same thing? If Eli is in the same situation as Edwards just was, I don't know that he gets it off to anyone in time.
• Right, the 52 passes last week. That was brilliant.
• Now they come out and run right away. You don't get the sense that Gilbride and Coughlin are guided by a sublime kind of intellect. Sometimes it seems like they're barely aware of what's happening in the game, sometimes they seem to be completely reactionary.
• 3 and out, and apparently Roscoe Parrish is the #1 return man in the NFL. And he goes for a nice gain. THANKS TYNES.
• And we're back. Buffalo, a team that really isn't all that good, is looking like the Patriots today. Roscoe Parrish makes an amazing diving catch for 42 yards, then Lee Evans gets a TD immediately. The Santa Cheerleaders dance, Coughlin says fuck, and it's 14-0.
• Trent Edwards: "Drafted with the 29th pick of the third round (92nd overall) in the 2007 draft…the sixth quarterback drafted, the only one taken in the third round"
  Eli Manning: you know that story.
• Decent field position. Eli passes to Jacobs'... back. Nobody on this team seems to be aware that they are playing a live game. I have Tivo, so I can rewing and watch it again. But you are playing for real, fellas.
• Giants: 1 yd/play. Bills: 10.5.
  
• NICE catch by Toomer! Finally. Something. Sometimes there are moral victories. They say Toomer was down by contact. I don't know what the rule is exactly but he was touched. "Uncle Petey touched me..." And Jauron was right, he was down. Don't bring me down...
  
• More long pass plays that go to far. More Eli letting the ball slip out of his hands. OMG, that was embarrassing. Somehow the announcers seem to be talking about how much the offense misses Shockey and his "attitude."
  
• Coughlin turns down the chance at a long field goal in favor of pinning the Bills inside their own 10. Tynes can't make 50 yard field goals (he can't make 30 yard field goals). Of course, when the defense jumps offsides right away it kind of doesn't matter. See, they're sort of keeping Lynch in check a bit, but with the extra five yards they gave them for Christmas... hold on. That was even worse. A Giant defender flew across the line - Pierce? How does he do that? He's not some rookie nitwit. Shit.
• Pierce steps up and pounds Lynch. "A little excited for a guy who just jumped offsides..." Yeah, that's this team all over.
• I want to like the Giants. It's hard this year though. There's just this... malaise.
  
  
• Giants lead the league in sacks with 49. Interesting. A lot of it is the big game against the Eagles.
• Bills get hit with a false start. OK, game changing play! Let's go! Whoah, I was right. There you go. Botched snap, fumble, Giants get it at the 25. CONVERT. NOW. The wind is blowing like crazy and the Giants actually run instead of pass. OH YEAH!
  
• Rain is pounding down and the Buffalo fans are showing why we're glad we don't live there. Cheerleaders are giving up. They looked like they had to be freezing in their little Santa outfits, which aren't all that hot in the pouring rain. Manning to Toomer again, a successful pass. But why throw it on 1st and goal? Why not try to get a little bit more with Jacobs? It's turned into a Brazilian rain forest on the field. "With this weather, don't you think maybe they should be running the ball?" Thank you Goose, and then a TD. YESSSS!!!! Compliments on a block. Blocking fascinates me. I think that's what I would've done if I'd played football.
  
• Cleveland/Cincinatti, weather's fine, 3-0 game. Buffalo/NY, weather is horrible, 14-7.
• Last week I call Shockey's fate (off by 2 yards, but didn't go over), today I call the game-changing play (maybe). Clearly Coughlin's job should be mine.
• Again the ball slips out of Eli's hands. But on the punt, Feagles goes down. If only it were Tynes. Can we have Jay Feely back? Please? We know we made a mistake.
• JACOBS! BREAKS OUT! AFTER THE PENALTY! HOT DAMN! FUCKIN' A! 43 YARDS! LONGEST RUN OF THE YEAR! THERE! YOU! GO!
• So now that the team is back in this game in a big way, we can discuss something. Is it fanly to wish for a team to lose so that something else happens? In this case, getting rid of Coughlin. The truth is, he should've been bounced last year, not because the team didn't go far in the playoffs, but because he doesn't seem to know what to do with these guys. I'll stop short of saying he's a crappy coach, although that's what it looks like to me. I don't think this team is anything spectacular but they show enough spark at times to make you wonder what a better coach would be able to do. If NY loses today and next week, I think they have to fire Coughlin. Still, you can't root for your team to lose. Right?
• Toomer's having a good game. Well, 3 catches, but for 70 yards. He's a b-level player but gets the job done.
• You have to question putting Tynes in for a 42 yard attempt on 4th and 2 in a tie game. It worked but he's so bad.
• I think if a defender hits the receiver after the catch that should be a fumble, not an incompletion. Something else: look at how well the Giants are playing all of a sudden. Obviously there's a huge mental component to football (and all sports). So the coach's pep talks and actions must have a gigantic effect. While all this is acknowledged, it's not acknowledged enough.
• "Last week it was execution more than play calling." OK, maybe. But if they aren't making the plays, why call them again and again (and again)? As if to prove my point, Steve Smith drops a pass. No, it wasn't easy but you gotta do that. OK, I'll be a TFAG and say "you gotta make that catch!"
  
• The Giants are actually benefitting from the other team making dumb mistakes. And Shockey is out. Interesting... Suddenly Toomer steps up big, and Shockey is out. Hmm...
  
• AGAIN Eli botches a throw. I think that was an incompletion rather than a fumble but the officiants disagree. End of 1st half, Giants up by 3.
  

Week 16 vs BUF-Pregame notes

• On ESPN Sunday Countdown, nobody picked the Giants.
• Stat of the morning: 92% of the teams that started 9-4 (since 1990) have made the playoffs.
• This is "the battle of New York" - but I don't think anybody cares.
• Shockey being out could be a good thing: let's not forget the dumb penalties at the wrong time. And his backup scored last week almost immediately after entering the game.
  

Kevin Everett Kicks a Cop! (No he doesn't)

Week 15 vs WAS - 2nd half

• Now come the giant Giant penalties. They do seem to have figured out that Portis will be running the ball however. And Andrea Kramer really does look cute in the wind.
• Here come the Redskins, again. This didn't feel like a blowout in the first half but it's starting to look that way now. Portis runs hard in for a TD. Gibbs decides to go for 2 which seems odd when you're up by 19 points, but hey, at least it's not only Coughy that can make weird choices.
• Shockey down for the injury time out... Maybe I was right...
• Wow, I was. Shockey leaves via cart. 18 yards.
• Smoot back in the game and really giving it to the Giants, much like he gave it to some babes on the boat a couple of years back.
• Kevin Boss - good name for a football player. Takes over for Shockey and gets a TD. Like it. Like it. I LIKE IT!!!!!
• Its amazing to watch the Giants defense, who have proven that they can play really well when they want to (want to? I don't know) totally fall apart as the game goes on. Sometimes. They're really inconsistent and it's in a weird way. Hard to think it's anything other than lack of focus. Which would mean BAD COACHING.
• Well I guess they need me to yell at them because they just beat the crap out of Todd Collins, who did intentionally ground that ball. He did. But it doesn't matter cuz it's 4th down anyway.
• It is NOT a Toomer. Holy shit, that was pathetic. He just dropped it. Had it in his hands and it fell down. Would've been a TD. At least that convinces Coughy to let Jacobs run it.
• Sinorice Moss does the exact same thing that he did earlier - has the 1st, then turns around to try and get more yards. Hey Sinny. You go THAT WAY. Remember that.
• All of a sudden this is a game. Eli needs to play like it's the 4th quarter all the time. They should just tell him every quarter is the 4th; that's where he plays best.
• Shockster out with a fractured leg. They say it's "terrible" but if this new guy is good it might not be.
• Tynes. Tynes. Tynes. Why is he still here? Bill Belicheck would have had him killed by now.
  
• They stopped them at least but now the Giants have to do something they've been having trouble with lately, which is SCORE.
• OK, I need to pay more attention here. Nice play on 4th and 1.
  
• Manning is 16/41. 16. 8 drops, so that would be 24/41 if the other players could make a catch. Boinnggggg, but no INT.
• Whoah, nice catch by Steve Smith. Then 4th and 2, and Jacobs pounds through the line, he's up to 116 yards. Then on the next play he drops ANOTHER pass. Here's the thing Coughman - if they keep dropping passes, MAYBE YOU STOP THROWING SO MUCH.
• No scoring on this drive, even after two 4th down conversions, then they fuck it up on 4th and 5. Really bad.
• Now they've used up all of their time outs, which I don't fully get but maybe there's a method to the madness. Maybe.
  
• Now we're back to just plain madness.
• Andrea Kramer mentions a conversation with the very chatty Strahan and points out something interesting. If they lose tonight and next week, they would need to beat New England in Week 17 in order to make the post season.
• Aaaaand that's it.
  

Week 15 vs WAS-1st half

• The snow is mostly gone, but its still kind of gross down in Jersey. Andrea Kramer looks sort of cute in her hat.
• The ball wobbles off the tee. That's wind, baby! All running tonight. Apparently Todd Collins doesn't like throwing into the wind, which Madden says is true of every QB. Since Todd hasn't started a game in 10 years he might want to think about handing it off to Portis as often as possible.
  
• Shockey doesn't exactly scream "intellect."
• Oooo, much too close to an INT by Fred "Dildo Man" Smoot. I don't know what that pass was.
• Good run for Jacobs. He's not Tiki but Tiki wasn't Tiki until he played for a few years. If Coughy can get him to stop fumbling (which he did for Barber) he could end up a solid back for the Giants.
• This could be a good drive if they don't fuck it up. And... they do. Not sure what's up with Eli's throwing but maybe it's the wind. Hey, here's an idea. RUN THE BALL.
• The Sunday Night Football theme is to the tune of "I Hate Myself for Loving You," which is just weird.
• "No one plays well here," says John of the Meadowlands.
• Burress really could've made that... maybe. I think he got bumped and then that was it.
• The one thing that the Giants have consistently done well is have really fast guys on defense. It was a swarm on that punt, all over Randle El, who appears to have a sense of humor, at least in his video intro. I've never liked those for some reason.
  
• "Clash of the Choirs" looks like a pathetic attempt to appeal to middle-American religious people. Cuz they really don't get enough attention this time of year.
• Jacobs has 3 fumbles in his last 29 touches. I'm guessing that's bad.
• On 3rd and 9, why a short pass to the running back? I realize I know nothing but what's with that? Now they go for it on 4th and 1, and Droughns looks like he gets it. Its short, though. I have to question whether or not Coughlin knows what he's doing.
  
• This commercial with the ref tackling a player - it's for Bud Light. Does that mean he's drunk?
• Wow, this Redskins offense is really something. Something CRAPPY.
• Could this team win a playoff game in crappy weather? The defense can definitely get in the face of a lesser QB, although they need to finish tackles - the last sack of Collins (actually, it probably won't be the last sack of Collins - HEY YO! Is this thing on???) they just kind of tapped him down rather than planting him like a tree.
  
• With those Cialis commercials: do you think they actually know of a situation where a guy had an erection for more than four hours and lost the ability to see?
• This drive:
  Jacobs' Run.
  Jacobs' Run.
  Pass to Burress, first down. That's a dangerous play but I guess it worked. "Dangerous" is a little strong.
• Oh, John, enough with the complaining about Plax not practicing. He's hurt, not a dick. He's having a good year. And there are other receivers on this team that do practice and they ALL SUCK. So leave Plaxico alone!
• Well, I guess I was wrong about no fumbles from Eli. Fuck. He looked bad there, kind of bush league. NFL Europe. Arena League. Sandlot, Pop Warner, whatever. Not good.
  
• I'm always curious about what it's like for a QB to step in late in the year, when he wasn't expecting to play at all, and he hasn't played in a long time. In Collins' case he appears to have lost a lot of ability.
• Giants get a break on an interference call that doesn't appear to be noticed, but Madison drops the INT so I guess that's balance. Sort of.
• Eli's stats kind of blow but the team is winning games and they'll probably get to the postseason again. Since 2004 his INTs are second worst in the league, his rating is below average and he basically isn't playing all that great. But if they win, does it matter? This year is probably the last one that he can get away with losing in the first round of the playoffs again.
• Once bitten, twice shy I guess, as Coughy opts to punt instead of going for it.
• Portis get a nice block and busts out a few more than he usually does. He's having a really shitty year. He's hurt but he also might be at the end of his run (pun not intended). He appears to be falling, Shockey-like, after his runs. I wonder if that's the field. Both teams are playing as if it's a Nor'Easter.
• The might Skins O can't get in the end zone but they do manage a 49 yard field goal. Lots of almost INTs for the Giants tonight, which to me indicates a lack of hustle.
• Lots of Jacobs, so I was right about that so far.
• John, Shockey is not a very good blocking Tight End. He's OK. Not great.
• Jacobs dropped that pass. Bad move. Eli's starting to do what his brother does, with the bitching and moaning when a play goes bad.
• OK, Randle El forgot his helmet. That's great. We like him.
  
• Well, this is turning out to be a thrill a minute.
• Wow, this Redskins offense. Amazing. Why aren't they running more? It seems like an odd choice to have a QB who hasn't played in ten years throw as often as possible on a really windy night.
• Here's the game: Eli hands off or passes to Jacobs. Droughns pops in once or twice. Then he throws to Plaxico. For the Redskins, Collins hands off to Portis and throws incompletions to Chris Cooley. So far that's all you need to know.
• The next record Bret Favre will break is most minutes spent lathering up his buttocks during a football broadcast.
• DON'T THROW TO YODER! If you have to score throw to COOLEY or hand off to PORTIS! Ack.
• Who's this guy Bradshaw? Got 8 yards.
• Shockey on his way to the 20 yards I predicted, before he leaves with an injury.
• Dropped by a rookie Tight End named Matthews. I guess this is the time of the game when Coughy decides to just use whoever is out there.
• This is just a dull game. I bet NBC is wishing they could've chosen the Pats/Jets.
• Here's the thing: both teams look like crap but the Redskins are winning 6-0. Collins isn't playing well but neither is Eli.
  
• That punt almost rolled into the end zone. Windy.
• WTF? Sinorice Moss just had a first down but walked back to try and get more yards. Lack of focus, dumb mistakes. Second verse, same as the first.
• Angry old Coughlin is showing his crankiness again.
• Collins actually isn't playing that badly. Receivers on both teams are dropping passes all over the field. Nice catch by Moss, the Redskin one. Maybe he wants to show his brother how its done.
• And how did that happen? Betts? BETTS???? If they'd gotten their hands on him and wrapped up he might have gotten tackled.
• J-Shock. Stop yelling at the other team. It will draw a penalty at a bad time. You know this because it has happened many times before. You should not be doing it. OK? Got it? 18 yards, 2 more and you can get hurt and go home.
  
• After a nice stop by a WAS defender, he taunts Burress and gives NY a first down. Hey, it's like Christmas! Now Eli throws a completion - no, really - and another 1st. Now some running, clock is ticking, a Fred Smoot injury stops the clock so NY holds onto all of their time outs. But Eli and the boys do NOTHING, so it's Tynes time. He makes it.
• Madden points out that WAS is fooling the Giants D with the same plays. Now WAS is marching down the field. Once again, NY seems to be giving up early.
• BOOOOOOOO!!!!
  

Week 15 vs WAS-Pregame notes

I played this in Madden (2005, but hey) and NY won in OT. The weather shouldn't be too much of a factor, although the field will likely be wet and it might rain a little at some point. My fantasy team has tanked in spectacular fashion so I could use a NY win. Not that it's all about me.
Prediction: 21-17, NYG. Jacobs rushes for 70 yards but Droughns vultures 2 TDs. Eli plays well enough, 1 INT, no fumbles. Plax gets 80 yards, Shockey gets 20 before he goes out with an injury. 3rd TD is from an INT return.

Shockey on New Year's

OMFG.
Via Newsday's Giants blog.
"Does Shockey really need an internet ad to get guests?" they say. Who knows? It's probably some party promoter who put the ad up on Craig's List. A better question is why the hell is Shockey doing this at all? And if the Giants make the playoffs (which they likely will), isn't this a really bad idea? That is, to be partying like a Shock star right before the post season begins. Maybe he's had so much to drink over the course of his life that he's wasted all the time, so it doesn't matter what he does off the field. That would explain a lot, actually.

Week 14 vs Philly - 2nd half

• 2nd half not much better. Lots of barn burners like this one going on today in the NFL; low scoring, bad playing (maybe, I'm only watching this game).
• Held 'em to a FG, which helps.
• 4 flags! What is it? Who did it? Eli is hovering over the refs like a nervous mommy. Delay of game? For the spike by Burress. You gotta be kidding me. That was ridiculous. Plax shouldn't have done it but that's a pretty shit call.
• Somewhat similar to last week, this Eagles team isn't all that good. Which means the Giants should win, right? But they aren't playing well at all. Remember Week 1, when they scored a pile of points against Dallas? That was then.
• Back and forth, back and forth. Bor-ing.
• FUMBLE! Finally something good for the Giants. Hopefully they won't
  
• 1st fumble by Westbrook in 557 touches. Sheesh, that's good.
• Andy THROWS that flag! Hot damn! Impressive throw, tubby. I think he was down but I'm biased. It's a little unclear. This is one of those times that the replay rule is a little annoying. I know, maybe it'll go my way, but it slows the game down so that it's almost baseball-like.
• So it went my way. Love that replay rule.
• OK, look. Plax is hurt. But the guy really can play. Shit, without him, the Giants are out of a lot of games. 13-10 Giants.
• Sack #2 for McNabb. Not a big one but we'll take it. Ten to go.
• Houston is beating Tampa Bay, Detroit is beating Dallas - weird day.
• STOPPED. Got the ball back. This game is moving slower than a pitcher's duel.
  
• OK, watching some guy rub Strahan's back while he puts his head in the dude's armpit is just kind of disturbing.
• One more chance to not stall in the red zone. Aaaand it happens again. They just can't get it done once they get there. Why is that? I blame... Tommy C.
• Another sneak for McNabb. Maybe Andy Mayo is trying to get him killed rather than trading/cutting him at the end of the year. Not that I think he should do that, but it's gonna happen.
  
• Coughlin cursin' on camera!
  
• Aside: not to go all Kornheiser on ya but I played all of the wrong guys in Fantasy today.
• Big penalty. Why is it that sometimes it's a first down and sometimes it's just five yards? NFL has too many rules.
• Burress with a big catch on 3rd and 1. Not sure what the goose-step was at the end but I'll take it.
• Really nice run by Jacobs. This is what the team is supposed to look like, frankly. Of course, he did fumble at the end, but maybe he was down. That's a perfect example of what's happening with the Giants - a nice run that ends in a fumble, even if it was a questionable fumble. Well, there's the replay, and no, it was a fumble. Fuck.
• Now's the time in the Giants' game when they fall apart!
• 
• Do not touch my monkey.
• Pierce stops them, and no flag, which makes sense, cuz it's not like the Giants are the Patriots or something.
• I'll say this, the games recently have been exciting at the end.
• Coughlin needs to show Jacobs whatever he showed Tiki about how not to fumble.
• Philly has a couple of time outs so NY still needs to get the 1st downs and keep them away from the ball. Jacobs doesn't get it, so they have to decide what to do. 4th and 1, 1:15 and counting. I guess they wait until the last possible second, take the delay of game penalty... no, wait. Eli calls time out when the play clock gets to 1. That confuses me but what do I know. Feagles on to kick, he's actually start to look as old as he is. Eagles are out of time outs, so I guess that makes sense. Jeffy F can really put the ball behind the 10, it's kind of amazing. Westbrook gets out of bounds but he doesn't have anywhere to go so he's backed up like a senior citizen after a plate of corn and cheese.
• McNabb makes a big toss and gets some key yardage. The Giants defense is asleep at the switch here. No time outs, McNabb stops the clock, makes the throw to the sideline to stop it again, Akers comes on to make the long field goal attempt. This would tie it, 57 yard attempt is... NO GOOD. Oy vey, kish mer tuchas, that was much closer than we would've liked. One second left. Akers looks like he's going to commit hari-kari. And that's it. Giants win in spectacularly lame fashion.
  

Week 14 vs Philly - 1st half

• Plax left the field during warm-ups. Not sure what that means yet. He's active but maybe the injury caught up with him.
• Some guy the Giants cut returns the opening kick off for 26 yards.
• Looks like the Eagles' offense is dialed in, marching down the field. If I'm McNabb, I might throw the game just to piss off the Philly fans. They really treat him worse than a red-headed stepchild. You'd think he was, y'know, Eli or something.
• I think some of the Eagles' players were just stepping on Reggie Brown on the sidelines.
• Andy Reid looks like he sweats mayo.
• Strahan, you SUCK. Westbrook just beat him easier than... well, even easier than he just scored. Coughlin is looking at his feet. One of the Giants' defenders barely went after Westbrook on that one. I don't know if he would've had a chance to catch him but don't you at least make the effort? Not on this team I guess.
• Just showed the replay and the Giants looked like chumps on that one. Really ugly.
• Jacobs gets a few but he's been hurt and may not produce. Looks like Burress is on the field, we'll see how he does.
• OK, Brandon? Dude? You're good, I'm a fan. But you really can't do that sort of thing unless you really know you can bust a decent run. The stutter-step thing is fine but that just didn't work. Aaaaand Eli goes down. This is doesn't look good.
• Finally a good play from the D.
• That was a false start. I could see that from here. Surprised the flag didn't fly sooner.
• Andy Reid just went for it on 4th down and I disagree with the commentators. I think its OK to do it because if you make it, you really put some fear into the Giants. Of course, now McNabb got himself hurt a bit so I guess they're right an I'm wrong.
• Aside: I really hope Detroit beats Dallas today. Really. Can't stand the Cowboys.
• Eagles are getting knocked around hard. Suddenly the Giants are playing a little better. Then Eli throws a ball to somewhere that no player actually is. So maybe not.
• Jacobs came very close to getting a first down there. That kind of sums up this team right now. Almost good enough, but not really.
• McNabb had all the time in the world. Not because the Giants weren't pressuring but because they didn't finish their tackles. McNabb looked good but this isn't the McNabb from a few years ago.
• Trick play from the Eagles. I need to see if someone tracks these because it seems like there's been a bunch more this season. It's stupid. I know it's fun for the coaches and maybe even the players, but you can only do it if it works. Greg Lewis throwing passes? Um, no. Would've been nice
  
• Giants are 5-1 on the road this season. It's an impressive stat actually. If they win today that'll help, although if I had to pick right now, I'd say it doesn't look promising.
• Bad hit by Lito (whoah-oh-oh...). Fans are booing, shockingly. I think if one of the Eagles' pulled a gun and got a penalty they'd boo that too. Maybe this is a turning point in the game. Maybe. I hope. Please.
• Good field position after those penalties. Not much on that pass but if they just keep moving it they'll get there. This team isn't all that great (the Eagles I mean).
• ROO-BEN! ROO-BEN! Wish he'd finished it off with a score but that was nice. That looked like a bad tackle to me.
  
• What the hell was that? Good thing the penalty was against Philly or else I would... well, pout. I don't know. Love that "half the distance to the goal" penalty when they're on the 1.
• Shockey missed the ball! And he's MAD about it! Really mad! That time I think it was Eli's fault. The throw was way off. Tommy C is pouting. And here's Droughns running into a big pile of Eagles. Why? Why why why?
• Eagles have tapered off and the Giants have a shot here after McQuarters' return to midfield. The announcers don't seem to know who's playing; he just called Eli "McNabb". 30 seconds on the clock, Giants are trying to get a score before the half, and they're having their typical hard time doing it.
• Here's what's so frustrating: every now and then, Eli makes a great play. Like that one to Plax, who catches the ball and gets out of bounds immediately. Then he throws the ball to no one in particular and gets it knocked down. Aaaand who were you throwing to there Eli? They say Moss but I thikn that's generous. It was nowhere near him.
• 3rd and 10, let's see if they can make this happen. Five seconds left. Do the Giants take a shot at the end zone before the half? No. Probably the right move but it still feels lame. At least Tynes made it.
  

Week 13 vs Chicago - 2nd half

• Tynes needs to go. Now. As a fellow Scotsman (dad was Scottish, so I'm half), it pains me to say it, but the thought of him kicking in a tight spot is about as appetizing as a plate of cold Haggis (or warm Haggis, for that matter.) He kicked it away from Hesty, but out of bounds. Rex and the boys couldn't get anything going, so it didn't matter. Coughlin may fly over O'Hare airport, he's flapping so hard.
  
• Manning: 9 passes. It's funny, because he's thrown one pick and fumbled. So that's his fault. Much in the way that the fumble by Derrick Ward was Ward's fault. FUCK.
• I wonder if it's too late to get the thumbcasting gig for the Browns...
• The defense isn't the problem here. Not that they're the best in the league, but it's the offense that appears to have a crew of head cases (Eli), loud mouths (Shockey), rookies (Ward) and guys who get injured easily (Jacobs). Unfair? Maybe, but
  
• THERE's a penalty on the Bears. OK, the refs are OK.
• Grossman really does stink up the place. You can see where in a college situation he might've been good, since he can throw far and has a teeny amount of fire behind him when he plays. But he just sort of throws the ball sometimes, even more erratically than our boy Eli.
• Another fumble.
• Shitty spot leads to a 4th and 1, which Droughns converts. I have to think that a play like that gives a team some confidence.
  
• Shockey catches it! And falls down!!!! If he'd run after the catch it might've been a touchdown! But he didn't! So it's not!!!!
• WOW. They make it so close to the end zone, but Eli throws a pick. This just bad.
• As bad as Eli looks, I think I'd take him over Grossman. Rex appears to just be throwing the ball to... air. He keeps missing guys by a lot, even though they're open. So the Giant defense is playing well, but mostly Grossman is stinkin' up the joint.
• It's still a game here, with 10+ minutes to go. The pick in the end zone before hurts bad, cuz with a FG at least it'll be
• CHI was leading in penalties, and NY had only one until a minute ago.
• Bears are playing like crap. This isn't like last week, when the Giants certainly could have won but would have needed to do a whole lot more. Today they really just need to do, you know, anything on offense, and that could get them a win.
• Shockey. You got the call. Shut up. Nasty hit brings them to a first and goal.
• 3rd and goal, Toomer looks like he caught a TD, but the officials said it hit the ground first. If they get it, this game is nice and close, without it, it's baaaad. I know, I said that already. Is it indisputable evidence? Not really but it sure looks like a catch from here.
• THEY GOT IT! Maybe the officials just figured the Giants needed a break. It's not overwhelming evidence but it does look like a catch.
• Why, oh why, oh why are they still letting Tynes kick the ball? This is the second time IN THIS GAME where he kicked the ball out of bounds. He did it in the last game too, and the Vikings don't have a Devin Hester. (They do have an Adrian Peterson, but he wasn't playing last week. Never mind.)
• Quick three and out for the Bears. If the Giants win this game, Strahan will be very busy explaining how great their defense is, forgeting the fact that Rex Grossman played like crappola.
• Eli is suddenly playing pretty well.
• From Fox: Total yards this quarter - NY: 90, CHI: 1. ONE.
• David Tyree, stepping up when they need him to. I'll take it.
• OK, under 2 minutes, Giants in the weird position of trying to run the clock down so they can score and not give Chicago a chance to get back in it. Please don't let it come down a Tynes FG. Please. Please please please.
• Plax snags it with a nice catch, but Chicago calls time out, giving the booth some idea that it wasn't a good catch, although it was. Come on guys, let's get this going, I got things to do.
• Aikman says take a knee, then kick the field goal. Run the clock down. Of course, that's not what they do. Now they have a kick to Hester (again), and 90 seconds with a time out.
• They stopped Hester. Good. Coughlin's new thing appears to be hopping, rather than arm flapping.
• Another stat that isn't tracked: the Giants tripping Adrian Peterson. Weird but it works. They get the 1st down, and Grossman spikes the ball petulantly. Still one last time out for the Bears. Bad penalty again (false start). Dropped pass to Rasheed Davis, 3rd and 15. Bounces off of Berrian's hands for a 4th and 15. But Grossman hits Muhammed for 20 yards! 1st down. Dammit! 17 seconds left, they call the final time out. They need a score, though. Read Cough's lips: "Oh my God." Way overthrown to the end zone. 11 seconds left, no more time outs. Eli: get some energy up, man. This is exciting. Grossman throws another looooong incompletion. If they gave points for looking like you were throwing a great pass that led to a score, Grossman would be leading the league. 4 seconds left. Pass knocked down and... GIANTS WIN!
  
• Fuck, that was good. I need a minute here.
  

Week 13 vs Chicago - 1st half

Didn't post anything this week. Mostly absorbed the fulminating by NY media outlets over Eli's crappy Sunday, which was followed by the Knicks National TV collapse. Always fun in the big city.
And heeeere we go:

• Derrick Ward is in. He's pretty good. Not a world beater, but good. Good thing we had him, since BJ proved to be as injury prone as everybody thought.
• THERE you go. Urlacher. Interception. Right at the start. If he has another horrendous game, he's in biiiiig trouble.
  
• "It seems that there are a lot of miscommunications." Well, yeah. Although the point here is that it may not be Eli's fault, not entirely anyway.
• Beat Grossman! Can't stand the guy.
• Grossman plays better than Eli, a lot better, man oh man, is this gonna get ugly.
• I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if the receivers and the QB aren't on the same page in terms of route running, it's the coach's fault. Eli may be making poor decisions, but at the same time, if he really expects a guy to be in a certain spot and he's not, somebody has to address that.
  
• Love it when the home team boos a penalty that's against them. As if no one can dare rule against their team.
• Sinorice Moss is my co-pilot.
• Oh right. The punt to Hester or not punt to Hester thing. Just don't punt to him, you dummies.
• 3 and out, but no punt returned for a TD.
• Big Game - Bernie - BERRIAN! Oh, this looks really bad.
• Bears punt. Good.
• Some fighting there. To quote Wyclef: No Fighting!
• Over-under on stupid penalties by the Giants today (this isn't official, this is me making it up): 55 yards. I'd take the under, but barely.
  
• On the sidelines "Shockey was doing most of the talking," says Pam Oliver. Alert the media.
• I'm missing how this is in any way Burress' fault. I could be wrong here but I think he gets a lot of flack for missing practices - not flack exactly, but "maybe he shouldn't play if he can't practice" type of stuff. But Shock Man, who to my eyes seems to be running the wrong routes, doesn't get slammed by the commentators.
  
• False start, 69. That sounds dirty. Also a 5 yard penalty.
• I just remembered something from Francesca's show this morning. To paraphrase: Giants run ball well. Bears can't stop run. Giants run ball. Giants win. Capeesh? And yet, we see Eli throwing.
• At least they punted to Hester but pushed him out of bounds right away.
  
• COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BULLSHIT. Just needed to get that out. Thanks.
• HA! Hester dropped a sure fire TD. HA HA! The not-so-funny part is that he was more open than Britney Spears after a few vodka and Red Bulls. The guy isn't a receiver, so you give him a break. YOU give him a break, not me.
  
• CHI leads the NFL in drops. And they just had a delay of game
• No safety? That was a safety. Wasn't it? They pushed Grossman back 20 yards. Nice punt block gives NY unbelievable field position - like at the 32 yard line. Then Ward runs it for 31 yards, with some nice moves, especially a few to stay in bounds. Droughns punches it in for a 1 yard TD. But Lovie challenges it. After the play. Excuse me? EXCUSE ME????
• I don't know what the result will be but that's bullshit. How do you accept a challenge after the freakin' play?
• And now they stop Droughns. That was crap. Replay shows that Lovie threw the flag too late. And the Giants, because they're really dumb, are just going to do the same play, whether it works or not. LAST CHANCE GUYS. Make it work.
• Hate agreeing with Joe Schmuck but he's right - "Justice was served." Ward punches it in. Right now, he looks much better than Reub, which means Reub will start getting more carries. I'd prefer to be wrong about that.
• Ward's a funny one. He's not a chugging type of back, but he's not exactly Warrick Dunn either. Size-wise I guess he's a little Jones-Drew type: 5' 11", 228 lbs. (MoJo is 5' 7", 208). BJ is 6' 4", 264 lbs (sheesh), Droughns is 5' 11", 220 lbs. It's funny, because Reub looks like a "chugging along" type of back, and Ward looks more sleek. But he's actually a little bit heavier.
  
• OK, penalty on Chicago. Illegal touch. Again with the dirty terminology. Football is a filthy, filthy game.
• Something weird is going on here. That was obviously a case where the Bears touched the ball first, and it took the officiants a week and a half to figure that out. What were they waiting for? Are they Bears' fans?
• McQuarters not so exciting on the return game but at least he didn't fumble.
• Chicago got some nasty weather on.
• Whoah. Derrick Ward is looking like Devin Hester Jr. Really finding the holes (which I guess you have to say the line and blockers opened for him), nice little cuts, good speed.
• Oh fuck. What the hell was that, Eli? That was horrible. Ball slipped out of his hand while throwing. That's baaaad. At least it was only a field goal but man, this isn't good.
• Here's my advice: turn 'em loose. Fuck it, let Eli go no huddle. OR just feed the ball to Ward. Do that. Ward's averaging 10 yards per carry. Are you kidding me? Come on, Cough.
• Hedgecock? Who the hell is Hedgecock? This is annoying.
• GUYS! No fighting! Wyclef said!
• If nothing else, NY is showing how to pin Hester back. They kicked it to the corner of the field, and then the Giants pushed him out of bounds at the 10. Take that, Sauerbraun.
• I know I said before that it wasn't completely Eli's fault. It's not. But it's kind of his fault. Rex Grossman is having a much better game than Eli.
• I'm glad it happened to the Bears (Desmond Clark called a time out) but I don't think players should be allowed to call time.
• This is an ugly game in terms of how the players are treating each other. Surprised there wasn't a foul called while Madison sat on Rasheed Davis for an extra coupla minutes.
• When Grossman's wrong, he's way wrong. He threw that ball to Wrigley Field.
• Peterson! What is it with guys named Adrian Peterson? What are the odds of two good rookie running backs with the same name? The Giants just didn't stop him.
• But man, when Rex throws it wrong, he really throws it wrong.
• And again, Rex is pounded into the ground a bunch of yards behind the line of scrimmage. Umenyiora, we like you. Sack number 11 for him, 5 sacks total today.
• Robbie Gould isn't Jewish, but he should convert. He made the FG, but that could easily have been a TD.