Week 12 vs Vikings - 2nd half

• Coughlin says "we have to throw to win." Childress says he's going to beat the crap out of Eli. He "sees something in his eyes." A "lack of confidence." Great.
• FINALLY. Toomer usually steps up when the rest of the team falls apart.
• Actually, for all of my whining, what the team actually has to do is not give up. They're very good at giving up.
• Hey, Bradshaw. Who is this guy? Ahmad Bradshaw. He looks pretty good. Only a couple of carries but right now, we'll take it.
• OK, we like him, but let's not put the game on his shoulders. He's had a whopping 1 NFL carry. Now 2.
• What was that? Shockey was right there. He didn't turn around. He was blocking. I think. Watching the team today, it's hard to figure out what the hell they're doing from play to play.
  
• Burress was making those catches in the first few games of the season.
• Eli looks like somebody stole his shiny new ten speed.
• Tynes, FG attempt. Hold your breath. Oooo, that was close but he made it. 24-10.
• Fred Robbins with another sack. The pass rush is good, especially against sub-par teams.
• Wow, Jackson just took off for a 19-yard run there. The entire Giant D was nowhere to be found.
• This supposedly spectacular Giant defense is showing that they aren't really all that good. I mean, they're good, but they aren't a legendary shut-down group. As if to prove it, Strahan allows Tavaris Jackson to get away and run for another first down.
• Hey, a penalty that wasn't against the Giants. Well, there was one against the Giants too. So let's not get too happy here.
• So the VIKINGS are controlling the clock. Interesting. I think somebody said that would happen...
• OK, good stop by the Giants, keeping the Vikings to a field goal. They held the ball for over nine minutes. OVER NINE MINUTES.
• Bradshaw's a gamer. I like this kid. He doesn't get the yardage he wants on a kick return, even though he gets a decent amount, he's mad. He wanted MORE. And not like Shockey-mad. Like, I'm a gamer, I want to play well mad.
  
• Nice flip to Shockey by Eli! See? You need to LOOK AT THE FIELD and see who's there. Then you THROW THE BALL TO THEM. Right? Right.
• Eli is scolding Bradshaw for not blocking better. Um, isn't it the kid's first game?
• Another INT, but it's not. Coughlin challenges, which is a good move because on replay it's obvious that the ball hit the ground after the INT. Still a crap play by Eli but at least it didn't result in anything bad.
• Actually, it ends up pretty good. Nice, early season style catch by Burress.
• Oh sweet honey in the rock. This is horrible. That's three INTs returned for TDs. THREE. INTERCEPTIONS. RETURNED. FOR. TOUCHDOWNS. Plus another pick for good measure. 41-10. 4th quarter.
• Aw, aren't the Albert kids cute. Anything to distract from this game.
• 41-10. 41-10. 41-10. Mostly interceptions. Just like 2005. Only worse. Much worse.
• So what do you do? Do you bench Eli? Of course not. Do you fire Coughlin? You should but they won't. They seem to like him. Here's an idea: start penalizing teams financially for losing. Is that why the owner's never seem to care that much? I mean, of course they care. But it never seems like they care as much as they could. Or should.
• Plaxico is hurting the team by playing? I don't know. If he's hurt, he's hurt, but if he can play he should play.
• What was that Eli did? It looked like the 'drinky-drinky' motion. I could use some vodka right about now.
  
• FINALLY a TD. Plax. Less than 6 minutes left so, like, whatever. But maybe it's good for morale.
• OW. Helmet to the back for Eli. Shit.
• Oh wow. That was vile. Eli running, running away, and... he falls down. That's not even a sack is it? Wow. That wasn't... wow. Fox fellas are right, get him outta there.
• Darren Sharper singing "I Love New York... and New York loves me." Oy.
• Hey! How come the Vikings are running up the score? Heh heh.
• That's all folks. They're not actually going to bother running up the score. Man, that was awful.
  

Week 12 vs Vikings - 1st half

• Aside: why is Fox the Frank Caliendo channel? I like impressionists but I'm getting really tired of Frank. Maybe when his TV show gets canceled they'll dump him, or at least cut into his time a little bit.
• Also aside: Interesting Mort story on Countdown about colleges that may be looking to NFL assistants to fill their coaching vacancies. College football annoys me.
• Conventional wisdom says that this will be a big game for Eli. Could happen. Chester Taylor is averaging 5+ yards per carry. If the Vikings just keep on pounding it out, they'll run time off the clock and maybe E will have to make bigger than usual plays in order to score.
  
• Siragusa says Giants need to blitz to keep pressure on the Vikings and not let them run the ball effectively. Vikings' O-line is good, but Giants D-line "wants to pass rush," so they can't stop the run if they try to block the box.
  
• Aside: I'm glad Beyonce is getting some work. I was really worried about her.
• I don't care how cold it is, Giants Stadium is a great place to watch a football game. Not that I'm there.
• Tynes, you fucknut. All you do is kick and you can't even do that right. Out of bounds, putting MIN on the 40. NY was also offsides - on the kickoff - but they were spared the extra 5 yards.
  
• OK, maybe they can block the box. Giants just pushed Taylor back for a 1 yard gain.
• WOW. What the hell was that? Sydney Rice with the big reception. That's not what they were supposed to do. Tell me they didn't just fake out the defense with a stupid play action... oh. Yes. That's what they did.
  
• Aside: this Onstar commercial is enough to scare you into buying the service. Fuckers.
• So 41 seconds in, it's 7-0 Vikings. I blame Tynes. And the Giants defense thinking they're too good. The one thing nobody ever remembers when predicting Giant games is all the penalties and dumb mistakes, like the kicker booting the ball out of bounds on the opening kickoff.
  
• Nice return from Bradshaw, a rookie.
• There you go. Reuben. Sometimes I know what I'm talking about.
• Good catch Shock! He jumped! Amazing.
• I need to look up Shockey's yards after the catch stat. Gotta be like 4 yards. He never runs.
  
• New t-shirt for Burress: no practice, no problem.
• This is what you want to see. Move the ball, move the ball, move the ball. Pass, run, pass, pass, run, all forward movement.
• Droughns is a good running back. He's big, runs hard, and is just tough to stop. #1 run defense. Fuck that.
• What was Eli throwing to? The play was blown dead but he panicked. "Half the distance to the goal" is about ten feet, but I'll take the first down.
  
• Droughns leaps in for the TD. Nice.
• See, this is what you do. They score, you answer, quickly. Nothing fancy, just showing that you can play. Clearly having Guy Whimper in as an extra blocker did the trick.
• Aside: Wanda Sykes should do more ads. I like her. She almost makes me think Applebee's isn't completely disgusting.
• Hm, yes, Fox announcing team. This is different than you all thought it would be. Giants ran the ball, Vikings threw it. FASCINATING.
• How did the Giants not recover that fumble? Good sack but now the Vikings actually gain yardage on that one.
• Tavaris Jackson is a funny one. He doesn't seem to be very good but the team likes him, and he's being pushed as a future star. He's 4-2 as a starter, which isn't bad at all, but he has almost no passing yards.
  
• ANOTHER penalty?
• There we go. That's the other thing good teams do - stop the other team from scoring.
• Tynes: pay attention. That's how you kick. Pin them behind the ten. OK? Put down the haggis and start kicking better.
• INTERCEPTION! What the hell was that? This is not good. Eli threw the ball to a Viking. Shockey didn't even turn around. So who's fault was that? Shockey's, but Eli shouldn't have thrown the ball his way. It's not all about trust, Eli.
• Thanks for reminding us of the game 2 years ago, guys. Darren Sharper got 3 INTs. Now he has one that he's returned for a TD. In the first quarter. Fuck you.
• I don't want to give succor to the enemy but the Viking Kittens are a classic.
• THAT was a good play. Eli pumps, stops, pulls back, then hits Toomah for a first. He had time, but he also allowed himself to take the time.
• That pass to Toomer was the longest completion Manning has made in 5 games? 31 yards. That's Plax not being 100%. He's the big play dude.
• I'm not sure if S. Moss fell fown there or if Eli overthrew him. Yep, it was Moss.
• What was that? You're down by 7 points and you go for it on 4th and 5? Toomer and Shockey were both open but Eli threw to an imaginary receiver. I know that they run these routes, and the QB expects them to be in certain spots, but doesn't he look first?
  
• OW. Big sack by Robbins. He just picked up Tavaris Jackson and planted him in the ground.
• What was the penalty? Illegal Contact. Nowhere near the play. So a great sack turns into a first down by penalty. That's a stat the Giants would lead the league in.
• Taylor and Droughns are a lot alike. Backups, decent players if they start. Pounders. Just keep hitting and running and you'll get a few yards.
• Peterson seems like a good dude. Like he wants to be a star and has star quality.
• ANOTHER INT? There's a flag. But it's against the Giants so it doesn't matter. This is really embarrassing. Eli is playing like crap but the illegal formation isn't his fault.
• Chester Taylor, TD. That was fucking ridiculous. The Giants just kept not finishing the tackle, and Taylor didn't give up.
• The Vikings are on their way to becoming one of "those teams" for Eli Manning. Stat: 6 quarters against them, Eli has 6 INTs. That's baaaaad.
• See, maybe they should've listened to me. Run the ball. Look, 14 of the 21 points the Vikings have are the result of interceptions. So OK, you can't run the ball against these guys. So what?
• Droughns gets some praise for his blocking ability. Great but it's still a 14 point game.
• This is turning into one of those "why am I watching it" games.
• Giants play the Bears next week. That's a chance to win, I guess. Of course, so was this week.
• One bright spot: this guy Bradshaw seems to be a decent return man.
• Hey! Steve Spagnola! Stop hugging Brad Childress!
• OK, here's the Eli 2 minute drill. Let's see it. This is something he can usually do and now would be a good time.
• Coughster: now is not the time to go to the run. Should've established it earlier. Might be too late now.
• Toomah. Dropped the pass. Bad.
• Not "a great effort from Jeremy Shockey"? How can you say that? He's the hardest working TE in the NFL!
• Penalty, Chris Snee. Coughlin's son in law. Figures.
• What can you say? Right now, they stink.
• 45 seconds left in the half. Let's see if there's any gas in the tank or if it's all between Coughlin's ears.
• Manning just had a bucket of time and he did nothing. Was there no one open? Did he get rattled? They look like a high school team.
• And SHOCKEY drops it. Tough catch but he could've gotten it. If the team isn't completely out of sync he probably does.
• That was pathetic. Eli either misses his spots, or if he hits the receiver, he drops the ball. Lots of chances to do better but they aren't taking them.
  

Week 12 Vs Vikes - Pregame

Pre-game predictions:

• I'll go out on a limb here and say that Droughns might have a good day against the Vikings' #1 run defense. It could be that they're #1 because you can throw against them all day. If they give Reub 20-plus carries, he should be good. He's a pound-away type of guy, without the burst and flash that Jacobs gives you sometimes. You can get him down, but he'll get up and run again.
  
• If I'm right about the above, then Eli puts up modest numbers again. If they keep winning, I don't really care, but there are a lot of people who want to see Eli justify his number one pick-ness. Me, I'll take wins.
• Chester Taylor will rush for enough yards to justify people (um, me) starting him in fantasy formats. Adrian Peterson is having an MRI on Monday but ESPN quotes coach Brad Childress as saying that if it were a playoff game, Peterson would play. Good move, although if (when?) the Vikings lose today they aren't all that likely to make the playoffs. Even if they do make the postseason they aren't going anywhere, so why risk injury to a guy who looks like he could be one of the great RBs?

Almost game-time, be right back.

Why the Lions scare you

Here's why the Lions scare you - they have nothing to lose. Sure, Kitna said that DET would win 10 games but nobody believed him. Yes, if they lost every game from here on out that would be a bit of a disappointment. But they've already done better than last year, and the team looks pretty good.
This "who gives a fuck" attitude is what brings about the plays like that almost-nailed-it hail mary at the end of the 1st half. If that play works, the Giants are very unhappy going into the locker room. As it is, it's a 7 point game.

Week 11 vs Lions - 2nd half

• Kept 'em to a field goal, which is good. The Lions are talking shots downfield though, and at some point one of those will work.
  
• FUMBLE! AGAIN! The Lions are the league leader in takeaways but I don't care, you gotta hold onto the ball, guys.
• And Kitna hits Williams for a 19 yard gain. Grrrr.
• DET is running the ball well, too.
• This Roy Williams is good. That was a nice play too - Williams didn't do anything, just stood there near the line with no Giants paying any attention to him. Kitna hits him, then he gets the 1st down and more.
  
• The Giants are starting to play harder but the tackles aren't happening the way they should. On two different plays, a DET WR was 1/2 tackled but kept going when the NY defender didn't actually bring him down.
  
• 52 yard field goal fails, because it's tipped by Robinson. That, you like to see.
• Oh shit, Jacobs is limping off the field. And Plax is clearly hurting. Is it the coach's fault when everyone seems to get injured so easily? Conditioning? Maybe.
• WOW. Tynes makes a 46 yard field goal. Maybe he's not as bad as he looked at the beginning of the season.
• Guys, I don't really want to discuss what's down Brandon Jacobs' pants. Looking at the replay it looks like he hit his knee, maybe.
• "Jacobs will not return to the game today." Maybe they can sign Ricky Williams?
  
• Watching this you can see how the Lions are second to only the Patriots in receiving yards.
• INTERCEPTION! By the Giants. Finally. They were supposed to be doing that to Kitna all day.
• Shaun Rogers is really big.
• Aside: at the moment, Vinny Testaverde has more passing yards than Peyton Manning. That makes sense.
• Scary stat: Eli has the same record as Peyton over the same number of games. Creepy.
• Eli is playing fairly well.
• Burress finally makes a nice catch. Dude has long arms.
• You can see where this offense really loses a lot without Jacobs on the field. At the moment things are going well enough, it's 16-3 with 7 minutes to play.
• Aside: If I'm watching from the sidelines, I don't really want to stand behind Tony Siragusa.
• SHIT! TD, Calvin Johnson. This is what I was talking about, people. Cough. Call me.
• Manning gets stuffed much too easily. FWIW, the DET defense does look good but the Giants should be able to stop them better than they have been.
• OK I'm as critical of the Giants' penalties as anyone - maybe more than anyone - but that "intentional" attacking of Kitna's legs was a bullshit call.
• That's what I'm talking about! James Butler snags the big INT. There you go! Live by the big play, die by the big play.
• Something I've never understood is the idea of situational calling. "You can't make that call in that situation." Well, the call is the call, isn't it? Do you have rules or not?
• This is the big stand by the Giants defense. Strahan needs to step up. He's actually having a good game, with three sacks so far.
• Hey, a penalty on the Lions! Whoo-hoo!
• How many receivers do the Lions have, fifteen? It's like there's someone open everywhere. They're going to make this interesting.
• Sam Madison! Interception! That's it! Fuck yeah! Motor city meatheads! Mike Martz makes me mopey (if I'm a DET fan)!
  

Week 11 vs Lions - 1st half

Here's your simple stat for the game today: The Lions are 6-3. So are the Giants. This is, indeed, Bizarro NFL.

• That's quite a dramatic entrance the Lion make onto Ford Field. I don't know if I'm right about this but I think that the Chicago Bulls are responsible for all of these overblown dramatic entrances. "Yoooouuurrr ChiCAgo BULLLLSSS!!!!!"
• Rod Marinelli tells his team: "You have earned the right to play a meaningful game in November." Sheesh.
• I can't deal with this phrase: "The Lions are on [the Giants'] level." I just can't. I'm sorry.
• With DeWayne White out, maybe Tony Siragusa can fill in.
• This is actually a meaningful game, don't forget. I'm talking to Eli, not you.
• The Lions had -18 rushing yards last week. Really. NEGATIVE EIGHTEEN. If NY can't stop them that's verrrry bad.
• Ow. That looks like it hurt.
• That's what I'm talking about. The Lions trying to run the ball and getting stuffed. Let's do it.
• Maybe it's just me, but I think Mike Martz is nuts.
• Um, or not. So the Lions are running the ball well. Oh shit, Kiwanuka is shaken up. Down. Is he getting up? That looks like it hurt. Oboy. He's not even putting weight on the ankle. It's been less than a minute and two guys are out, 1 Lion, 1 Giant.
  
• That's it Strahan. Earn your money.
• See that? Kitna waited until the clock was almost at zero, then he started the play. Before it got to zero. Not after.
• NICE tackle to keep the Lions from getting a first down.
• OK, NY is playing so-so. It's early but these teams look more evenly matched than I'd like.
• The knock on Brandon Jacobs is that he's so big he'll spend a lot of time injured. Maybe. But man, when he's on, he's really good. A Lion tackler just ran into him and literally bounced off. It was like a VW Bug hitting a Hummer.
• Some good plays, some not so good plays. At least Tynes hit the FG.
• 4th and 19. Let's see a lot of that today.
• Well, there's a penalty. I knew it was too good to last.
• Coughlin's starting to pout... arms will flap soon...
• Hey, that was a nice little pass Eli made to Sinorice Moss. Lots of people think the Giants need to open up the field and use the 3rd receiver more often, maybe they will.
• Another catch by Moss, but... SHIT! He fumbles. I guess it was a "strip" but it was also a "drop."
• OK, we got it back quickly. I would've liked the Giants to score some big points here, get some confidence back.
  
• They seem to be moving a little more quickly than they were last week, although you really need to just get the hell onto the field when the time comes.
  
• Good run and slide by Eli to get the 1st.
• Strong plus for the day so far: Eli hitting different receivers (7 so far).
• Whether or not Jacobs ends up a great RB, he definitely is a guy who plays hard and with some heart. He's stopped, but he doesn't give up, he tries again and at least gets a yard.
• I don't like these flips to Jacobs but they seem to be working so I won't complain. Well, I will when they don't work.
• Chris Snee with the false start! Questionable call but they made it.
• Shockey has... nothing. Shit. He was close but he got stopped. Without the penalty they would've been fine.
• Here's the Lions offense for you: when it works, its amazing. They make it look like the other team isn't even playing. But it doesn't always work, and when it doesn't, they look like a high school team.
• Wait, what? He was tackled, right? McDonald? You know what, I don't think his knee hit the ground. Cough is challenging but I don't think it'll work. FINISH THE TACKLE AND THIS IS NOT AN ISSUE.
• Oh wow, Coughlin won the challenge. That's a nice surprise. I'll take it but I don't think he was right.
• Marinelli's pissed and I don't blame him. Hopefully this won't energize the team and get them mad enough to start playing better.
• You don't need to be a lip reader to know what Roddy M is saying.
• I hope Plax isn't losing a step. He clearly is, though. Fox guys say he's not getting to his spots, which seems to be true.
• HOWEVER, if S. Moss and the Shockster can step up, we'll be OK.
• That pass was Eli's fault. Too short. Plax got back to it but it wasn't worth much.
• Not much time guys...
• Toomer gets out of bounds to stop the clock. 33 secs left, 3 & 1, DET 13 yard line.
• QB sneak to get the first down, then a quick time out. Three seconds total. OK, that's good.
• Nice jump by Jacobs to get the TD! Love it. That was on a little toss to him. The one I don't like. Well, fuck it, I'm not the coach.
• End of the first half. Looked bad for awhile there but it ended well.
  

The Giants Owe MLB and the Knicks A Nice Chanukah Gift

I'm watching ESPN do their Kent Brockman impression ("The Lincoln Squirrel has been shot! We'll stay with this story all night if we have to.") with their coverage of the Barry Bonds indictment and A-Rod's signing with the Yankees. And I'm thinking that the Giants really need to send a nice fruit basket to Bud Selig, Scott Boras, and the rest of the nitwits in Major League Baseball. And let's not forget the Isiah and Stephon show. Why should they do this? Well, after Sunday's embarrassing loss to Dallas, which basically ensured that the team will not win their division and will be playing for a wild card spot, Eli Manning had this to say:

Q: How do you handle the criticism? Six weeks you don’t hear many negative comments, and then yesterday, everybody says you are to blame. How does that affect you as a person? Or do you try not to listen to it?

A: I don’t listen to it. I’m not the one to blame for a loss. You are going to lose games, that’s part of football. It’s just about learning from the mistakes, seeing what you are doing well and going into the next week with a good attitude that you if you win that one, you are back in a good spot and everything will be fine again.

As well-adjusted as that statement is psychologically, it's really not what you want to hear from your franchise quarterback, especially not one that you gave up so much for. Should he commit hari-kiri in front of the press corps? No, but how do you have multiple delay of game penalties and then say "it's not my fault"?

To be fair, he did say, "I have to do a better job getting to the line of scrimmage, getting everything called quicker and getting the ball snapped." And these stupid penalties have been a hallmark of the Coughlin Discpline Era.

As for Tommy C, he's "more than perplexed" about the delay of game calls. He doesn't know what happened. Well, that's encouraging.

Back to the original point. All of this other stuff gives sports radio hosts, columnists and fans something else to focus on other than the ludicrously bad play of the New York Football Giants last week. The fact that the team has consistently fallen apart in the second half of the season for the past three years (8-16, all under Coughlin).

So get those wish lists ready Bud, Bonds, Boras and the rest. You may be getting a little something from Eli this holiday season!

Week 10 vs Cowboys - 2nd half

• And the 2nd half starts with a blow to the face from the Cowboys. Wow. I guess they watched film of the Week 1 game and decided to emulate the Giants.
• Apparently the Cowboys said they were going to double cover Shockey on every play. NOT WORKING!
• Before NY tied it up with the FG, the update was going to be "The Giants need a big play to get the lead back." But that's still what they need.
  
• OK, Tony Romo looks too damn happy. Somebody smack him in that dopey smile of his.
• Aside: it'll kill fantasy players but most teams are going to be going with a 2 or even a 3 back system. It works. I don't know why but it seems to work. You need two backs that are good, of course.
• Crayton again? Dammit.
• Still tied. On the surface these teams aren't really that evenly matched but in reality they are. DAL has the edge on receivers, NYG has the edge on defense, running game is a draw (maybe a little edge to DAL). QB you'd say Romo but Eli's good too.
  
• OK, so they got Witten's number today but Crayton is having a field day. What the hell?
• FUCK! Really great pass from Romo to Owens. Sam Madison blows the coverage. That's the big play that the Giants haven't made today.
• Whoah. That was some return by Bradshaw for the Giants. But it's coming back - holding on the Giants. A backup Tight End. Why? Why? Why?
• Shockey is having an incredible day. 11 catches so far. He still falls down whenever he catches the ball but if he catches it this much it's not that big a deal.
• Not a Toomer? Oh, but it is a Toomer. 23 yard catch right over the middle.
• OK, this is a nice drive so far.
• Droughns gets the first down. He's kind of a poor man's Jerome Bettis.
• Weird pass to Toomer doesn't quite make it in.
• Jacobs pounds it in... but there's a holding penalty and it gets called back.
  
• Delay of game? DELAY OF GAME????? Eli's been cutting it way too close all game. Now they're back at the 16 yard line.
  
• Please don't let this be the beginning of the Giants Second Half of the Season Meltdown.
• A nice drive ends in a pile of penalties and a FG instead of a TD. Tom Coughlin looks like he's about to start flapping his arms again. Don't do it Tom! Keep it together! Remember, the "we're not thinking" penalties are YOUR fault, not theirs.
• Romo moves away from Kiwanuka and manages to get a pass off, which falls incomplete. Still, it's not a sack and he didn't fall apart under pressure.
• I think it's safe to say that these two teams dislike each other quite a bit.
• Hands to the face, NY. Look at that. So sloppy. No reason to put your hands there, man.
• Well, they have shut down Barber. And Witten. It's the rest of the team they need to start worrying about.
• Spoke too soon. There goes Barber who makes NY miss. Barber leads the league in breaking tackles (according to Aikman) and you can see why. The guy looks like he's solid muscle top to bottom.
• HUGE touchdown to TO. Well, that's not good.
• Now it looks more like the Giants team from Week 1. Confusion, blown coverages, bad plays, awful penalties. One more penalty and Coughlin might flap his arms so hard he flies away.
  
• Tank Johnson with a sack. Isn't he supposed to be in jail?
• Three and out. Need a big defensive play. They'd better have it in them or this game is ov-ah.
• The penalties are not only unforgivably bad, they seem to demoralize the team in a really bad way. This, again, is Coughlin's fault. Even Joe Schmuck is pointing out that under Coughlin's "discipline" approach, NY has been the most penalized team in the league.
  
• They are stopping Braber for the most part. But TO has 124 yards and 2 TDs.
• Lots of jawing between the two teams. Most of it doesn't result in penalties but the Giants could use a few more Dallas screw ups to get them the ball back with a short field.
• Aside: The Bengals win today but they definitely get the vote for most disappointing team. Their shot was a couple of years ago when Palmer got his knee blown out in the playoffs. Who knows what would've happened but I think they beat Pittsburgh then go on to win it all.
• False start? Dallas? Come on, ref, talk to me...Whoo-hoo! 5 yards, 1st down. We'll take it.
• Now Shockey's not making those catches. Oh wait, yes he is. First down. OK, I'll start mocking him again, it seems to help him play better. HEY! J-SCHMO! YOU BANGED TARA REID! SCHMENDRICK!
• Some anonymous white guy gets his first catch of the year, and Jacobs pounds his way to a first down. The guy plays hard.
• ANOTHER delay of game? Coughlin looks like he doesn't understand. I mean, it's Eli's fault but somehow I still blame Coughlin.
• Fourth and 4 and an incomplete pass. That's it. The delay of game penalty did them in. That's really pathetic. It's not so late in the game that Dallas can run out the clock but it's close. Now they try to hold the game with time outs.
• It was all going so well. Aikman hits it right on the head - how will the team come off of this loss? I have no idea what Coughlin is like in the locker room but he doesn't appear to know the right things to say to get the Giants to push this kind of stuff off, get past it and win the next game.
• T.O. is a great receiver, but if you watch him shouting after big plays (or small plays), I really think he might be mentally ill.
• Joe Schmuck is blaming it all on Eli but he seems to be forgetting the rest of the team. Yes, Eli screwed up more than once, and fell apart in the second half. But so did everybody else. And ultimately, the fish stinks from the head - Coughlin, Coughlin, Coughlin.
  

Week 10 vs Cowboys - 1st half

• Heere we go.
• Julius Jones busts out a big run. I knew I should've started him in my fantasy league, since then he wouldn't have had a carry all game.
• Aside: does Tony Kornheiser think it's interesting when he talks about his fantasy team incessantly, or does ESPN tell him to do that? Yes, I mention my team, but I'm not on national television.
• OK, guys? I know it's fun to pretend it's still Week 1, when you sucked. But, like, it's not, remember? You're good now. Get it together.
• Touchdown? Tony Curtis?
  
  OK, not that Tony Curtis. Not a good start, Spaggie.
  
• Oh good! Pam Oliver's here. She'll yell at the Giants D and get them to play better.
• Burress might be the least heralded really good receiver in the league. Unless there's someone even less heralded, so unheralded I don't even know their name.
• Shockey! Catch! 4 yards! OH yeah! That's right! He's elite! E-L-E-E-T-E! Elite!
• What the heck was that toss to Jacobs? He lost two yards.
• Why is Tom Coughlin yelling at the coaches?
• I don't watch enough other teams regularly to know if the play clock almost expiring happens to teams other than the Giants, but it seems to happen to NY a lot.
• Two penalties in a row give the Jints a first down, apparently due to Eli's "voice inflection". Then a shove to Jacobs after the play for a few more yards. Joe Schmuck says it was "acting" by Jacobs, but it didn't look like it to me. If it was, that's kinda lame, but also sort of gamesmanshippy (I made up a word!).
• It seems like the game plan is "give the ball to BJ". Hopefully we'll see some Plaxico too, although he practiced this week, which could be a problem.
• Touchdown! Shockey! Now! He'll! Celebrate! For! A! Week! And! A! Half! Great throw, and a good catch too.
• Tynes... MAKES THE EXTRA POINT! OMG!
• There we go. Stopping Romo. Good work.
  
• Joe Schmuck tells a story about a NY player who was "star struck" when these two teams played in Week 1. Sometimes you don't talk to the media, especially if that's the story you plan on telling them.
  
• Oh right, Tank Johnson is on Dallas now. This was the game he supposedly joined for.
• I gotta agree with Troy, that was a nice pass. Shockey does his usual fall-on-the-ball catch.
• Aside: yay! The Dolphins are still winless! Boo, the Rams won.
• Oh fuck, INT by Eli. I don't think he got hit, which is what Joe Schmuck said. I love it when commentators make excuses for QBs they like (and when I say "I love it" I mean it's really fucking annoying.) Brett Favre gets this the most, although this season he's actually playing well so it doesn't matter. And with Joe Thiesman gone, there's less of that sort of thing going on.
• Personal foul call on the Giants, but a bad one. The guy was running! I want to protect the players too but come ON.
• Pretty balanced game so far. Hopefully Eli's INT doesn't blow it early.
• What did I say before? Barber's a good player.
  
• DOWN goes Romo. OH yes. Would've preferred a forced fumble but at least they stopped 'em.
• Aside: could the friggin' Cardinals score so I could
  
• Aside: Hey, what's that guy from Heroes doing on a McDonald's commercial?
• Shockey's having a good game. Clearly mocking him on this blog is useful.
• Eli's getting smacked around. That's the "great offensive line" that Aikman was talking about before, right?
• And... Interception! Romo! Boo-yah! (What an obnoxious term.)
• See? Plax only has 20 yards. Shouldn't have practiced.
• Jacobs is good. Not flashy like Tiki but good.
• Aside: here's why fantasy football is great (and also painful). I'm watching this game, and also thinking "Dammit, why hasn't Ronald Curry caught a pass yet?" If I were only a Giants' fan, I wouldn't even know who Curry was.
• Giants only have one penalty for 15 yards. Nice.
• Jacobs is tough. Pounded through for a first down. You need a guy like that.
• OK, Aikman's right, that was a nice block by Shockey. Blocking is one of those incredibly important things that's hard to show since there aren't stats.
• Speaking of stats, nobody has particularly good ones so far (Shockey is having a good game). But the game is close.
  
• Burress with a nice block. More impressive when he does it since he's not a moose like Shockey.
• 2nd and goal. Score. Score. Score.
• ALMOST a TD pass to Shockey. He's stopped but it's a nice catch, and a really nice pas from Eli who seems to be in sync with Shockster today.
• Reuben Droughs... Touchdown! It's funny, he's not Jerome Bettis or anything but he's a decent short yardage fill-in type back.
• Aside: I don't like that song on the iPod Touch commercial.
• Aside: Jessica Alba can't act but man, is she hot.
• Aside: K-Ville looks like a good show. Not that I'll watch it but it does look pretty good. Somebody watch it and tell me if it's any good, OK?
• See, there's a good illustration of the difference between Marion Barber and Julius Jones. Jones can't pound through a pile of defenders the way Barber can. He's just not big enough or fast enough. Barber has this extra oomph that's hard to quantify, it results in big plays sometimes.
  
• Ha ha. TO dropped a pass. Jerk off.
• Another stop. Sweeeet.
• Heard something interesting about RW McQuarters on the radio this week. A caller said "why is he still the return guy, he stinks, the Jets have 3 TDs from kick returns, I'm an asshole and I know everything, blah blah blah." The host's response was that Coughlin's main concern is no fumbles, and unless you have a guy who you know is fast enough to
  
• Well, that sucked. A score there, even a field goal, would've put a nice lead on the board. Now they give it back to Romo and company. They have been stopping them, though.
  
• On another player, that tackle of T.O. might have drawn a penalty. On him, you probably have to pull a knife to get the ref to call it.
• Whoah, that was some ending to the first half. DAL goes ahead on a Crayton TD (again - if I'd started him, he would've been hurt on the first play), then a huge penalty and a great Shockey catch (he's 8/86 with a TD today) sets up a FG by Tynes. On a less good note, Tynes was slow to get on the field for his kick so the team had to call the last time out. Like I said earlier, do other teams have these problems? Tie game.
  

Former FATriots Coaches

Why are so many of Bill Belichek's former coaches so fat?

Admittedly, lots of NFL coaches are on the chubby side. Still, these three guys probably couldn't ride an elevator together.

What NYG needs to do today

(photo from here)
Pretty much everyone with a microphone was saying that the Giants newly awesome defense needs to destroy Tony Romo in order to win. We say: stop Marion Barber and Jason Witten. Back in Week 1, Witten had a field day with the Giants, going for over 100 yards and a TD. And it's not like they were stopping T.O., who scored twice on 3 receptions (for 87 yards). Witten is a good player but he's not Shannon Sharpe; if you recall, he was open all freakin' day. Barber's stat line wasn't amazing (11/65 with 1 TD) but he's the guy they give the ball to when they want to pound the line. He's also started to emerge as the #1 RB in Dallas despite being the technical #2 behind Julius "maybe his brother Thomas is better" Jones. The Cowboys are a good team, even if Romo does get too much credit for such a young QB. (And not nearly enough flack for claiming to not have banged Carrie Underwood - look at those pics, he could've gotten her easily.) The Giants can definitely win the game as long they don't fall into yet another second half slump - the last few seasons have ended very badly. I don't think this team is as bad as previous years. It may not be a Super Bowl caliber group but it's more balanced and less kvetchy (I'm looking at you Tiki). Coughlin is the real wild card as far as I'm concerned. If he starts up again with the arm flapping and the weird decisions, that's going to be a problem. Eli is the other potential issue. He's been less inconsistent this season - not exactly a game manager but not a "gun slinger" either. Everyone wanted him to be his big brother, and I think this year he finally realized that he's not. Or he just stopped listening. Or he just got better. You won't ever know but he's not exactly chatty. I think that's a good thing, and if the season ends on a high note, it'll be easy to say I was right. If not, what the hell do I know?

Predictions

Back before the season started I made the following predictions:

Sep 9 @Dallas- Dal - RIGHT
Sep 16 Green Bay- NYG - WRONG
Sep 23 @Washington- NYG - RIGHT
Sep 30 Philadelphia- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 7 N.Y. Jets- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 15 @Atlanta- NYG - RIGHT
Oct 21 San Francisco- SF - WRONG (not sure what I was thinking here)
Oct 28 @Miami (London)- NYG - RIGHT
Week 9 BYE
Nov 11 Dallas- NYG
Nov 18 @Detroit- NYG
Nov 25 Minnesota- NYG
Dec 2 @Chicago- Chi
Dec 9 @Philadelphia- Phil
Dec 16 Washington- NYG
Dec 23 @Buffalo- Buf
Dec 29 New England- NYG

So far I'm 6-2. Not too shabby.

Here are adjustments for the rest of the season based on, you know, reality:

Nov 11 Dallas- NYG: I'll be the homer and go NY here although I think it's going to be tough. Some Romo stats: He started huge in Week 1 against NYG, with 345 yards passing, 4 TDs vs. 1 INT (plus a rushing TD), and a QB rating of 128.5. With the exception of Week 4 against the Rams (which shouldn't count, but it does, I guess), his weekly TD totals went down every single week, ending with 1 TD pass in Week 7 against the Vikings. Last week again Philly (which also probably shouldn't count) he threw for 324 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT in a brutal pounding of the Eagles. So let's say the pattern continues and he falls a bit, throwing for maybe 290 yards and 2 TDs. Our boy Eli hasn't been fantastic but he's not losing games either. In the Week 1 loss against Dallas he threw for 312 yards, 4 TDs and one INT for a rating of 113.1. Week 2 he sucked against Green Bay, completing only 55% of his passes. After that, the team has won every game, largely due to the defense but also because he didn't make a lot of panicky, game-losing plays (for an example, see big bro Peyton's fumble at the end of the New England game last week). So I'll play homer (d'oh!) and give it to Big Blue for Week 10. But don't bet your mortgage on it.

Nov 18 @Detroit- DET: I'm going to go with the trap game theory (again) and say that it'll be hard for the Jints' defense to stop the Kitna and Martz show.

Nov 25 Minnesota- NYG: unless the Vikings bring out the dildos to distract Michael Strahan, this shouldn't be a problem.

Dec 2 @Chicago- NYG: Chicago is so bad right now. Can't see NY blowing this one.

Dec 9 @Philadelphia- NYG: see above. Feel bad for McNabb, but he doesn't look too good. By December the Philly fans will probably be giving him Reggie Jackson treatment (that is, throwing bottles at his head from the stands.)

Dec 16 Washington- NYG: The Redskins aren't great but they have some talent, especially the quarterback, who isn't a big numbers guy but definitely has the potential to make a play that changes the game. Still, as long as NY sticks with what they've been doing and Coughlin doesn't make any stupid calls (a big if) they should take it.

Dec 23 @Buffalo- NYG: Let's assume NY wants this game and the Bills are in a rut after squeaking out a few wins.

Dec 29 New England- NE: How great would it be if NY was the first loss for the Patriots? If they're still playing for the 16-0 season, I'd have to give it to the Pats. The team just looks too damn good (jerks). If not, and NE is resting players, I'll go NY.

BDRadio 11-5-07

Because you haven't heard anything about the Colts/Pats game until you've heard what we think.
Click here to listen in.

Hating the Cowboys, sort of

Dallas is one of those teams that people in New York have always despised. Some of it is that they were good (see above.) Mostly it was this whole "God's team" nonsense. Other than the cheerleaders (who are still hot but, you know, whatever), who were a big deal once upon a time, the organization was the subject of much East Coast vitriol. Now? Still are, but not as much.
Part of the reason is Tony Romo. While his "aw shucks" thing is getting a little old, and the fact that he was hanging with Carrie Underwood and didn't do much of anything with her makes some people wonder about him, he just doesn't inspire the hatred that previous players have.
Why not?
- He came out of nowhere: this always helps. This isn't Ryan Leaf, a highly touted QB who was a major bust (not to mention a bit of a dick.) I remember when nobody thought for a second that Bill Parcells would ever dump Drew Bledsoe for Romo in midhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif-season.
- He replaced Drew Bledsoe: Bledsoe really seems like a jerk. Whether he's yelling at Keyshawn Johnson on the sidelines or just plain old whining about something, he was never particularly likable. Granted, he never had the career he thought he would have, but then again, who among us has? Shut up and play.
- That whole "aw shucks" thing: Let's be honest. We want our athletes to be people. We hate A-Rod (well, I do) partly because of his crappy post-season performance, partly because of the naked pictures of him in the New York tabloids, but mostly we hate him because of the tightly controlled image he tries so hard to project and protect. Romo seems to be having the time of his life, the way we imagine we would if we had enough athletic ability to play professional sports. Even when he played horribly in a game earlier this year, he handled it well.
So can we still hate the Cowboys? Oh, no doubt. It's just more difficult to hate the QB.

Stairway to Clemens

Thank goodness for YouTube. Otherwise I might actually get some work done.